The next person to harass me is the one who knows nothing: Kagami Shikocha.
Will there be a chapter where I'm not having idle banter? I'm sure those of you who are still reading have been growing bored. I'll try to make a more entertaining chapter for you, the one reading.
"Yo, Kiyomi-chan. Why are you trying to seem cool to the readers? But more importantly, why are you crying?" Kagami questions.
I'm crying? I put my hand to my eyes and felt a wetness. Why am I crying?
"I don't know why, Kiyomi-chan. But you do. That much I'm sure. Why do you ask questions that you already know the answer to? Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question."
I wipe the tears off my face and respond: "I'm crying because I'm human, Kagami. Not like a God, like you would know anything about human emotions. Human tenderness."
"Gross! Don't get deep all of a sudden! The readers aren't going to like you more just because you get serious all of a sudden."
"I'm not saying this to please our readers!" I retort. Okay, I am. But I'll never admit that to her.
"I feel like you're sharing something you don't want me to hear with the readers. If you have a heart, then certainly you'll tell me, right?"
If only I had a heart. What's that supposed to mean?
"Well," Kagami pivots, "can we begin the discussion that I wanted to oh so desperately have with you?"
"What discussion?"
"The one about the sky."
The sky? Ah, now I remember. The last time (which wasn't long ago) we spoke just the two of us, she wanted to talk about it.
"Sure, we can talk about the sky. But, what's there to talk about anyway?" I ask Kagami.
"What sky can you see?"
"What sky can I see? Well, I guess the sky is clear right now with minimal clouds. It's blue. And it stretches as far as I can see."
"Hm? It stretches as far as you can see. But, Kiyomi-chan, you know that the sky stretches out even farther than that, right?"
"Well, of course, it extends farther than I can see. Way farther."
"How much farther?"
"I don't know how to answer that. I can't answer such a question. All I know is all I know. I understand that you like to say that I know everything. But that's not the truth. At least, that's not the full truth. All I know is all I know. And to me, that is everything. But I wouldn't deny that there are things that exist outside of my knowledge. I'm certain that even someone like you has a life outside of what I see, outside of what I know."
"Do I have a life outside of what you know? Maybe I don't. Maybe once I leave your field of vision, I vanish. Disappear. No longer exists. How can you be certain that the being known as Kagami Shikocha exists outside your head? How can you possibly know that there is a sky that exists outside of your vision?"
"Well, you know you exist outside my knowledge, right, Kagami? Kagami Shikocha exists outside of the knowledge of Kiyomi Otonashi, right?"
"I don't know anything, Kiyomi Otonashi. You're the one who knows everything."
She says this with a smile. A smile that I can't decipher. I don't know if she's smiling to creep me out, to scare me, or simply because she's genuinely happy.
I can ask her.
I can ask Kagami so I can understand her actions.
The way she is.
The reason why she is the way she is.
But if I'm being honest, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to ask her.
No—
I'm afraid to get to know her. To grow closer to her. To grow closer to another human being. Another person.
What am I so afraid of?
I don't know.
No—That's a lie. The truth is, I do know why. But I refuse to acknowledge the reason. I guess she was right: I don't have a heart. I don't have the heart to grow closer to another person. I'm a sad, foolish person.
"Yo, Narnia to Kiyomi! Did you forget about me?" she calls out to me.
"Sorry, Kagami, you just made me need to think for a second."
"You think?
"Oww! What was that for?"
"What was what for? What happened?"
"I don't know."
"Wow, you're good at sticking in character. I'm impressed."
"Thank you. Now, don't you want to ask me something?"
"When did you get your lobotomy?"
She slugs me across my face. There's blood gushing out of my nose.
"Don't make things up to the reader! They're idiots! They'll believe whatever you say!"
"Geez, don't diss our readers like that… They have feelings, too, you know?"
"I don't."
We share a laugh. This isn't a joke, a lie.
"I do have a question for you, Kagami. Sorry if it's nothing new to our conversation, but what sky can you see?"
"What sky can I see, you ask? What an excellent question. The sky that I can see, the sky that I can sense, is The False Sky."
"The False Sky? What does that mean?"
"It's the sky that only I can see. The sky that isn't the real sky. In other words, it's a lie, a fake, a false sky."
"Describe to me how it looks."
"It's similar to the one that you see. Right now, it's a tranquil blue with minimal clouds covering it up, but at times, it's pitch black, with only stars in other solar systems as a light source. At times, it's an orange that, for some reason, tends to mesmerize those who gaze upon it. But the sky that is in front of me now, the sky that only I can see, the sky that envelopes all and at the same time none, is the sky that belongs to no one else but me. Well, there is one person whom I share this delicate sky with."
"Who is that person?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"You, the one listening."
A cool, refreshing breeze comes by to conclude Kagami's last statement. We both sit in silence, enjoying the breeze that unexpectedly came to greet us. What better way to end her thought? Poetic, even.
We don't need to say anything else. This conversation between her and me hasn't come to an end, however. Right now, we just don't have anything else we need to say.
We said what we wanted.
We heard what we wanted.
There's nothing else to be said.
But this isn't the end of the world.
This isn't the end of our lives.
This isn't even the end of the story.
It's a pause.
A caesura.
We'll speak once more when we want to.
We'll listen to one another once more when we want to.
But for now, we sit in silence.
Patiently waiting for what's to come next in this story.