Heeseung sat quietly in the back of his car, his cap pulled low to shield his face. Outside, fans lined the street near his dorm, their excited chatter buzzing through the slightly open window. He didn't look up, didn't wave—he didn't have it in him.*
"Are you even listening to me, Heeseung?" his manager asked from the front seat, glancing back with an exasperated look. "The group is counting on you, and you've been zoning out during rehearsals, interviews—everything. The fans are starting to notice, and trust me, we can't afford for them to see you like this."
Heeseung just nodded without a word. He couldn't bring himself to explain how exhausting it was pretending to be "perfect" all the time. The bright lights, the constant scrutiny, the unrelenting pressure—it was suffocating.
"Look," his manager continued, "this psychiatrist, Yoon Ah, she's got a good reputation. Try to be honest with her. The last thing we need is another scandal."
When Heeseung finally arrived at the quiet office, he hesitated before entering. He glanced around, his hood pulled tightly over his head, before stepping inside. The calm atmosphere inside the waiting area only made him feel more out of place.
When the door to Yoon Ah's office opened, he was met with a young woman who didn't look at all like what he expected. She wasn't intimidating or overly formal. In fact, she looked… normal. But there was a sharpness in her gaze that unsettled him.
"You must be Heeseung," she said, motioning for him to come in.
"Yeah," he muttered, shuffling inside and sinking onto the couch.
Yoon Ah closed the door behind him and settled into her chair. "Alright. Let's not waste time with small talk. What's going on?"
Heeseung stared at the floor, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. "I… I don't know," he said at last. "I just feel… empty. Like nothing I do matters."
"That's a heavy word—'empty,'" Yoon Ah replied, scribbling something in her notebook. "Care to elaborate?"
He shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "Everything's just… too much. The schedules, the fans, the pressure to be perfect all the time. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy."
Yoon Ah studied him for a moment before leaning forward slightly. "And when did you start feeling this way?"
"After our last comeback, I think," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Or maybe before that. I don't even know anymore."