Heeseung sat on the couch in Yoon Ah's office, his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling. For once, he wasn't nervous or hesitant. Instead, he seemed lost in thought, his mind circling memories he had tried to bury.*
Yoon Ah studied him quietly before breaking the silence. "You seem different today. What's on your mind?"
Heeseung let out a heavy sigh. "It's… my trainee days. I try not to think about them too much, but lately, it's like I can't escape those memories."
Yoon Ah leaned forward slightly, her pen poised over her notebook. "Tell me about them."
Heeseung hesitated, his jaw tightening. "It wasn't easy. I started training when I was just sixteen. At first, it felt like a dream come true. I was so excited to be chasing my passion, to become an idol. But reality hit me fast."
"What happened?" Yoon Ah prompted gently.
"There were so many of us—hundreds of trainees, all fighting for the same spots. The competition was brutal," Heeseung said, his voice tinged with bitterness. "Every day, I pushed myself to my limits, trying to prove that I was worth something. But no matter how hard I worked, it never felt like enough."
He paused, his hands clenching into fists. "And then there were the evaluations. Every month, we'd have to perform in front of the company executives. They'd criticize every little thing—my voice, my dancing, even my appearance. I'd go home feeling like a failure."
"That sounds incredibly difficult," Yoon Ah said, her tone filled with compassion. "How did you cope with all of that pressure at such a young age?"
"I didn't," Heeseung admitted with a bitter laugh. "I bottled it all up. I told myself I couldn't afford to show weakness—not when there were others waiting to take my spot. I stopped hanging out with friends, stopped talking to my family. All I cared about was surviving the next evaluation."
"And when you debuted?" Yoon Ah asked.
Heeseung's expression grew even darker. "It was supposed to be the start of everything I'd worked for. But instead, it felt like I'd stepped into an even bigger cage. Suddenly, the whole world was watching, and every move I made was judged. One mistake, and people would tear me apart on social media."
He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. "I wanted to make music, to perform. But instead, it felt like I was just a product—a brand to be sold."
Yoon Ah nodded thoughtfully. "It sounds like you've been carrying this weight for a long time. Have you ever talked to anyone about it before?"
"No," Heeseung said quietly. "I didn't think anyone would understand. But… you do. Somehow, you do."
Yoon Ah gave him a small, encouraging smile. "That's what I'm here for, Heeseung. You don't have to carry this alone anymore."
Heeseung's sessions with Yoon Ah became a sanctuary, a small bubble of peace amidst the chaos of his life. One day, after an intense conversation about his trainee years, Yoon Ah asked, "What's something you've always wanted to do but never had the chance?"
Heeseung blinked at her, caught off guard. "I… don't know. I've never really thought about it."
"Think about it now," she insisted. "No schedules, no fans, no cameras. Just you. What would make you happy?"
After a moment's hesitation, Heeseung smiled faintly. "I've always wanted to go to the beach. Not for a shoot or an event—just to relax."
"Then let's make that happen," Yoon Ah said, her eyes twinkling.