The door slammed open, and there he stood: Lord Edgelord McTrauma, the Hivemind's magnum opus.
He was a walking parody of every brooding antihero Webnovel had ever birthed:
- A trench coat made of literal shadows.
- A sword named "Widowmaker" that wept black tears.
- A backstory so tragic it looped into comedy (500 dead wives, 1,000 dead pets, and a childhood spent in a coal mine run by clowns).
System Alert:
New Boss: [Lord Edgelord McTrauma]
Trope: [Overcompensating Angst]
Weakness: ???
"Pathetic," Edgelord sneered, his voice a gravelly whisper that somehow echoed. "You think you can out-edge me? I bathe in the tears of orphans!"
Alex's cybernetic arm glitched into a shield. "Kairo. Tell me you've got a plan."
Kairo's scar pulsed. "I've got a brother."
***
Flashback: Kairo's Origin
The memory unfolded like a corrupted film reel:
Two boys in a noir alley, sharing a stolen loaf of bread. Kairo, sharp-eyed and protective. His brother, Elias, sketching swords in the dirt. "Someday," Elias said, "I'll be the hero of my own story."
Then the Storyweaver came. Offered Elias a deal: "Be the villain. It's more… marketable."
Kairo tried to stop him. Elias stabbed him in the back.
Memory Corrupted:
Elias became Edgelord. Kairo became code.
***
Boss Fight: [Lord Edgelord McTrauma]
Phase 1: "The Edge is Eternal"
- Edgelord summoned his dead wives as spectral minions, each wailing a different sob story.
- His sword unleashed "Tragic Backstory Waves"—physical manifestations of angst that eroded Alex's sanity.
Alex's Stats:
- HP: 65%
- SANITY: 40% ("Why does he have a sword named Widowmaker?!" )
Phase 2: "Brotherly Betrayal"
- Kairo confronted Edgelord, his data-knife clashing against Widowmaker.
- Edgelord's scar mirrored Kairo's—a twisted bond. "You left me to rot in the drafts!"
Phase 3: "The Glitch in the Edge"
- Alex's Fourth Wall ability flared. They rewrote Edgelord's backstory:
- *"500 dead wives? Try 501—because you forgot yourself."*
- The spectral wives turned on him, their wails becoming laughter.
Edgelord's HP: 25%
***
Edgelord staggered, his shadow coat unraveling. "You think… you can fix me? I'm broken by design!"
Alex stepped forward, their pen glowing. "Yeah. And so am I. But broken doesn't mean worthless."
They scribbled a single line in the air:
"And the villain said: I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."
Edgelord's sword clattered to the ground.
***
Kairo knelt beside his brother, now just Elias—a scared kid in a too-big trench coat.
"I'm sorry," Elias whispered. "I just… wanted to be the hero."
Kairo's scar flickered. "You still can be."
Alex's cybernetic arm shifted into a crayon. They handed it to Elias. "Start small. Maybe… draw a dragon."