After the meal, as conversations slowly died down, a tension settled in. It was time.
Time to go see Lucas.
There were six of us: Janna, Romain, Léonard, Jules, Marie, and me. My former group. The only family Lucas had in this world.
The other six stayed at the camp, silent, waiting for our return.
Romain took the lead and gave a directive in a sharp tone:
— We have a few hours ahead of us. Let's pick up the pace. Let's run a little.
Without a word, we nodded. The atmosphere weighed on us like a shroud. So we ran, the shadows of the trees stretching around us, twisted and threatening under the diffuse glow of a partially veiled moon.
The forest was dense, oppressive. Gnarled roots stretched at our feet as if they were trying to snatch us. Luminescent moss covered the ground, emitting a faint, unreal glow. Here and there, bioluminescent mushrooms pulsed faintly, seeming to breathe at the same rhythm as the night itself.
On our path, we saw distorted shapes in the darkness: decomposing human corpses, carcasses of indescribable creatures. Some bodies were frozen in strange contortions, their empty sockets fixed on us, as if silently watching our passage. The smell of death hung in the air, rancid and stubborn, but no one slowed down. We had a goal. We had to go see Lucas.
After what seemed like one, maybe two hours, we finally arrived.
And I saw it.
That place. The one I had fled.
The place where I had left them.
A shiver ran down my spine.
My breath was short, but it wasn't fatigue that gripped me. It was guilt. A cold, unbearable weight.
But I hadn't come back to brood. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, followed by the others.
In front of us stood a pile of stones, sober and silent. A stick, planted at the top, swayed gently in the night breeze. A makeshift grave. A fragile burial, but a burial nonetheless.
Lucas's.
My little brother's.
A heavy silence enveloped us. Each seemed frozen, lost in thought. Janna placed a trembling hand on my shoulder, while Marie, fists clenched, stared at the grave with an empty gaze. I didn't move. My eyes remained fixed on that pitiful grave, that last remnant of a being who had meant more than anything.
The memories surged. The laughter, the trials. Then the pain. The panic. My flight.
A sob rose in me, but I held it back. Here, pain was not wept. It was carried in silence, etched into flesh, embedded in the soul.
The clearing was drowned in thick mist, bathed in a spectral glow filtering through the intertwined branches of ancient trees. The forest seemed to whisper forgotten secrets, its ground covered in silky moss illuminated by bioluminescent mushrooms, casting greenish and bluish halos on the twisted roots. Here and there, flowers with translucent petals, from another world, trembled in a nonexistent breeze, adding an unreal touch to the macabre setting.
I took a long breath and knelt, my trembling hand brushing the moss-covered grave where Lucas's name was carved. A heavy silence reigned, as if the forest itself was holding its breath. Around me, my companions did the same, each expressing themselves in their own way, communing with our fallen brother. Janna closed her eyes, her lips moving silently. Romain, fists clenched, seemed to struggle with inner torment. Léonard and Jules, motionless, kept their gaze lowered, unable to form their thoughts. Marie, for her part, stayed slightly back, her arms crossed over her chest as if to protect herself from pain too raw. Her misty gaze fixed the grave, unable to say a word, but her silence spoke volumes.
In my head, I broke the silence.
"Hi Lucas… it's been a while. I hope you didn't miss me too much. I… I missed you."
My cheeks warmed as a stream of tears traced a burning path on my skin. My hands clenched on the cold earth betrayed my sorrow. Words failed me, but the pain was there, unbearable.
"You know… I blame myself so much… So much for not doing more. I should have been there, I should have… taken your place. I wish it had been me, Lucas. I wish you were still here…"
A sob broke my voice. The wind rose, rustling the treetops as if the forest itself cried with me. My companions remained silent, but their presence was a comforting weight. One by one, they placed a hand on my shoulder, a simple gesture but full of priceless strength. Even Marie, after a moment of hesitation, eventually knelt beside me, her gaze veiled by sadness.
"I'm angry, Lucas… at myself, at this cruel world, at the God who sent us here… I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to run."
My breath caught. I clenched my teeth, my heart pounding in my chest. The pain was unbearable, but the memories of Lucas kept me from falling apart.
"I should have been there for the others, like you were for me… I know it… and I blame myself so much…"
A solemn silence settled. The darkness of the forest seemed to thicken, enveloping us in a funereal embrace. Yet, through the shadows, a flickering light persisted: that of Lucas's memory, engraved in our souls, everlasting.
And for the first time in a long time, despite the pain, I felt a little less alone.
Breathless, fists clenched, I struggled against the hurricane of pain that threatened to swallow me. My throat tightened, a crushing weight pressing on my chest. I wanted to scream, to yell out the rage tearing me apart, but what was the point? The dead don't hear.
I took a short breath, trying to hold back the tears that burned my eyes.
As I gathered my strength to speak, a beat of wings broke the silence. A lone crow rose from a twisted branch, crossing the clearing in silence. I followed it with my gaze. Even he… he was moving forward. Without looking back. Maybe I should too.
— But now… now, I've decided to move forward, I whispered, voice trembling.
My fingers clenched on the fabric of my jacket as if it could give me courage. I had run away too long. I had let fear dictate my choices. Not anymore.
I raised my head and, in a more assured voice, continued:
— With the help of the others, I've decided to be there for them. This time… this time, I won't run anymore.
A heavy silence fell over us. I felt their gazes on me. Janna, Romain, Léonard, Jules, Marie… Each of them carried invisible wounds. Each had lost someone. Just like me.
I clenched my teeth, the pain rising like an insidious poison.
— I promise you, Lucas.
His name passed my lips, a funereal echo vibrating in the cold air. I had so wished he were still here… That he could see I was no longer the coward broken by fear.
A shiver ran through me, but I didn't waver. My voice grew harder, sharper.
— I will save the whole group, the entire group. I won't let anyone else die.
My breath quickened, my heart pounding against my rib cage. I looked up at my companions, my gaze burning with restrained rage.
— NOT ONE MORE PERSON!
My cry tore through the silence like a blade.
Janna lowered her eyes, fists clenched, while Romain slowly nodded. Jules looked away, as if he couldn't face the violence of my words.
Then a voice rose, soft but determined.
— We'll be with you.
Marie.
I met her gaze. She had suffered too, but she was still there, standing, ready to move forward.
— Until the end, added Léonard in a deep voice.
A shiver crawled up my spine. It was no longer just my promise. It was ours. A silent pact, sealed by pain and blood.
No one else will die.
I will make sure that this promise is not a lie.
After those words, a heavy silence fell over us. Only a few muffled sobs broke the stillness of our small group. No one spoke, but we supported each other with a look, a gesture, a hand placed on a trembling shoulder. We were each other's support, united in pain.
Then, as usual, it was Romain who made the hard decision. His voice, low but firm, cut through the air.
— It's time. We have to go back to the camp. The others are waiting for us.
No one protested. There was nothing to say, nothing to argue. So, in a silence heavy with promises and regrets, we turned back.
We left, leaving Lucas behind. Alone.
But a part of him still lived in each of us.
And that part—we would never let it fade.