He is in trouble now - Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.

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As the motorcycle sped through the city streets, Blade felt his phone vibrate. He glanced at the screen and saw a new notification.

He stopped for a moment, then turned to the reader and said, "Sorry, looks like the writer is messing with my phone now. Hold on, let's see what this genius wants."

Blade unlocked his phone and was surprised to see a message from an unknown number:"Thank the so-called Eater Of The Dead for what he did."

Raising an eyebrow as he read the message, Blade muttered, "Alright, alright, I have no idea who this is or what he did, but..." He turned to the reader with a sarcastic grin and added, "Thank you, oh mighty Eater Of The Dead! Whatever it is you did—whether it was saving me, clearing my debts, or stopping the writer from making me fall from a high place again or making my dick look like a rat's dick—I appreciate you, you hero!"

He paused for a moment, then looked up at the sky and added, "But if you're the reason behind all the shit that's been happening to me lately... know that I fucking curse your day, oh yes, and I hope your own writer makes you sit on a pile of nails and gives you a dick like a cat's."

He then turned to Beast Boy, who was happily driving the motorcycle, and said, "Alright, back to the mission! To Batman's lair, where we can either uncover his secrets… or end up hanging upside down from Wayne Tower."

Beast Boy chuckled as he replied, "Well, just don't fall off the bike this time!"

Blade smirked and shot back, "Now that you've said that, I'm sure something bad is going to happen..."

After hours of high-speed riding, Blade and Beast Boy finally arrived at the entrance to the Batcave, hiding behind a cluster of thick trees. The bike they had acquired from Cyborg was equipped with advanced tech, allowing it to avoid detection by Batman's radars.

Beast Boy quietly turned off the engine and looked at Blade. "Alright, we're here... now what?"

Blade pulled out a small binocular from his pocket, swapped places with Beast Boy, and scanned the entrance. Everything was quiet. Then, with a sly grin, he said, "Now? We wait, Greenie, we wait for the perfect moment… to flirt with that widow."

Beast Boy slumped against the bike's handlebars, groaning, "Oh great, we waited hours to get here, and now we have to wait again? I should've brought some snacks."

Blade laughed mockingly, "Or you should've thought of that before hopping on a motorcycle with a crazy mercenary headed for the lair of the most paranoid man on Earth."

Moments later, the sound of engines roared from within the cave, and the massive rock gate slowly began to open. Suddenly, the iconic Batmobile shot out at insane speed, heading straight toward the city.

Beast Boy's eyes widened as he watched the black car speed out of the cave. Then he turned to Blade and said, "Oh no… Please, don't even think about—"

But it was too late. Blade had already started the motorcycle's engine, ready to move. He turned to Beast Boy with a wicked grin and said, "Hold on tight, you little green-eyed bastard, we're going on a sightseeing tour inside Batman's ass cave!"

Before Beast Boy could protest, Blade had already sped toward the entrance, seizing the chance before the gate could close again...

Their motorcycle shot through the long tunnel, darkness surrounding them on all sides, with faint lights flickering along the rocky walls. Beast Boy clung tightly to Blade, whispering to himself, "Man, this is the worst idea I've ever agreed to…"

Blade, on the other hand, was enjoying every second. He looked around in awe as he drove through the cave, sarcastically saying, "Alright, I'll admit it… The old bat has some fine taste in picking caves for his little cookout parties down here. I bet he got a discount when he bought this place. And also, did I leave my ribs back there, or did you already break them, you tiny monkey?"

After several minutes of speeding through the long tunnels, the path suddenly opened up into a massive cavern filled with giant screens, glowing servers, and high-tech computers. This was, without a doubt, Batman's command center.

Blade hopped off the motorcycle, glancing around with exaggerated amazement as he placed his hands on his hips. "Oh, what a lovely decor! Dark caves, shiny computers, and the disgusting smell of bats that I'm pretty sure he's been fucking… I feel like I just walked into a low-budget horror movie!"

Beast Boy, on the other hand, was on edge, his eyes darting around nervously, expecting Batman to appear out of nowhere and slam them both into the ground at any moment. He whispered as he tugged on Blade's sleeve, "We've seen enough, let's get out of here before we get caught!"

But of course, Blade had no intention of leaving just yet. Instead, he marched straight toward one of the massive screens and began randomly pressing buttons, saying, "Let's see what the old bat is hiding here… Maybe some top-secret plans? Or perhaps his daily schedule… or a collection of Wonder Woman porn, who knows?"

Before he could do more, red alarms suddenly blared throughout the cave, and robotic voices echoed:"Unauthorized intrusion. Activating defense systems."

Beast Boy turned to Blade with a look of pure horror. "What did you do, you goddamn genius?!"

Blade raised his hands in defense, grinning, "Me? I did absolutely fucking nothing! I swear, I was just pressing random buttons like a guy fondling boobs for the first time… Okay, maybe I did press one labeled 'Emergency Alarm,' but who the hell would've thought it actually did something?!"

Before Beast Boy could yell at him, the ground suddenly shifted, opening up as security robots emerged, marching toward them with energy weapons charged and ready.

Blade looked at the robots, then at Beast Boy, then at the reader, before chuckling, "Oh, this is gonna be fun…"

The battlefield turned into a full-on bloodfest, but for Blade, it was just another ordinary day in his usual hell.

He charged at one of the robots, yelling, "Come here, you tin can! I'm gonna turn you into an automated dick massager!" Then, raising his sword high, he sliced the robot's head off in one clean strike. But in the very next second, another robot fired a laser beam directly at his arm—severing it completely!

Blade glanced down at his severed arm on the ground, then back at the robot, then at his arm again, before saying, "Oh, fantastic! Now I'm a fucking LEGO set! Wait a second…"

As he spoke, his arm began rapidly regenerating, as if someone had hit the rewind button on a video. He picked up the gun from his previous, now-useless hand and fired at the robot, shouting, "Take this! And that! And this one too, just because I fucking can!"

But the robots weren't playing around. Another one dashed forward at insane speed and delivered a powerful punch straight to Blade's right leg—blowing it to bits!

Blade collapsed to the ground, but instead of showing any pain, he burst into laughter, rolling on the floor as he shouted, "Hahahaha! Look at me! I'm a fucking mermaid now! Where the hell is my tail?!"

In the corner, Beast Boy was hiding behind a metal crate, trembling like a leaf in the wind. His wide eyes were locked on Blade, who was getting torn apart and regenerating as if he were a video game character with infinite lives.

Then, the critical moment happened—a heavily armed robot fired a missile straight at Blade's head. His skull exploded entirely, turning into nothing but scattered dust!

Beast Boy froze in place and muttered in horror, "Ooooooh… He's done for…"

But just moments later, Blade's head began growing back, as if someone had just hit the 'restart' button on his body. His skull reformed first, then the muscles of his face, then his skin, and finally, he opened his eyes again with a wide grin, saying:

"Fucking hell, that hurt more than anything else in the world! And you know what? I'm staying right here, you scrap metal bastards!"

Then, he turned to Beast Boy, who was staring at him with an indescribable look of shock, and smirked, "You know, maybe you should've stayed home and listened to Robin's bullshit coming out of his ass, because I'm pretty sure this isn't what you signed up for!"

As Blade jumped between the robots, firing left and right while laughing like a madman, someone else stepped into the battlefield. But this time, it wasn't a robot.

"Enough of this nonsense."

The voice was deep, calm, and filled with authority. Blade quickly turned to find himself face-to-face with Alfred Pennyworth.

But this time, he wasn't holding a cup of tea. Instead, he casually grabbed Beast Boy from behind the metal crates like he was a wet rag. Before Beast Boy could even scream, Alfred made a swift motion and tossed him into an unbreakable iron cage that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"What the hell?!" Beast Boy shouted, trying to pry the door open, but it didn't budge an inch.

Blade stood still, watching as Alfred walked forward with measured steps, slowly putting on his leather gloves while observing him with calculating eyes. Then, in an eerily calm voice, he said:

"In my long life, I have seen many wonders, but what I see now… is something that defies all logic."

Blade shot the last remaining robot, then turned toward Alfred, dusting off his black and purple suit.

"Ooooh, who's this? The legendary butler himself? The one who strokes Bruce's dick every day? Tell me, were you the mastermind behind all of Batman's plans? I mean, there's no other way to explain how that guy survives without any actual superpowers."

Alfred remained silent, then pulled a small device from his pocket and pressed a button. Immediately, Batman's voice echoed through the Batcave speakers:

"Alfred, keep him busy. I'm on my way."

Blade raised an eyebrow and said, "Keep me busy? Oh, what are you gonna do? Tie me to a chair and serve me a nice cup of tea? Maybe some foreplay while you're at it?"

Alfred replied in a cold, unwavering tone, "No. I will wait for one of us to make a mistake. And it won't be me."

Beast Boy, still locked inside the cage, banged on the bars and screamed, "GUYS! This isn't a joke! This man is a fucking secret assassin, I've seen this in movies! Look at his black suit—he's one of those quiet British men who can kill you with a goddamn teaspoon!"

Blade laughed loudly as he looked at Alfred and said, "Did you hear that? Beast Boy thinks you're a professional assassin! Are you? Or are you just the master of fancy tea?"

Alfred remained silent for a moment, then gave a small smile and replied, "Tea is a far deadlier weapon than you think."

Before Blade could respond, the lights in the cave began flashing red, and the sound of heavy footsteps echoed through the tunnel.

Batman had arrived.