This isn’t a joke - Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.

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In his chaotic room, where everything was scattered in a way that reflected his random personality, Blade stood in front of his weapons wall, slowly removing the watch from his wrist. He examined it for a moment, then smirked mischievously as he twirled it between his fingers.

"Ah, Marvel... my good old days there," he said dramatically, raising the watch toward the light. "How I enjoyed pissing off heroes... and villains... and random people on the street too. Do you guys remember when I made Wolverine put super glue on his claws? Or when I tricked Thanos into thinking there was a second Infinity Gauntlet for sale on Amazon? Ah, those were the days!"

Then, he hung the watch on the weapons wall in a theatrical manner before turning to face the room, placing his hands on his hips like he was in a dramatic scene from an old movie.

"But now... time is up, Blade. It's time for a new beginning, new adventures, and more chaos in a brand-new world!"

Before he could dive deeper into his sarcastic monologue— "BAM!"

The door swung open violently, and in stormed Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg, visibly furious.

"Finally, we found you!" Robin scowled as Beast Boy pointed at him tensely. "You bastard! Do you think you can just appear and disappear whenever you want without giving us an explanation?!"

Cyborg raised his hand, gesturing to the messy room. "And also, what the hell is this disaster?! My room is tidier than yours, and you know how much I love random gadgets!"

Before Blade could reply, Starfire entered behind them, floating in the air with her eyes glowing in curiosity. "Blade! There is still an unresolved matter!"

Blade raised an eyebrow, stepping back slightly. "Matter? No, no, no, I think I paid all my bills, I didn't break any windows today, and I didn't steal Beast Boy's pizza twice... Oh, you're talking about the whisper, aren't you?"

Starfire floated closer, her face still slightly flushed. "Yes! What exactly did you say to me?"

Blade looked at her, then flashed a devilish grin. "Hmm, I was going to tell you, but..." Suddenly, he turned and raised his voice: "Robin! Have I ever told you that your hairstyle reminds me of hedgehogs? No, really, I love it! It makes you look like you're always ready for an anime adventure!"

Robin narrowed his eyes in anger, but Blade kept going with his sarcasm.

"And you, Cyborg! Did you know I was planning to feature you in an ad for a robotics company? The tagline would be: 'The technology of the future... but with WiFi connection issues!'"

Cyborg raised his hand in a threatening gesture, but Blade didn't give him a chance to respond. He quickly turned to Beast Boy.

"And as for you... well, there's nothing I can say to you that would be worse than how you felt when you lost your last slice of pizza."

Beast Boy suddenly screamed, "YOU COULD HAVE JUST BOUGHT ME A NEW ONE! BUT NOOOO, YOU JUST HAD TO BE BLADE, YOU ASSHOLE!"

As the chaos escalated, Blade seized the opportunity, grabbed Robin by the shoulder, and started pushing them all slowly toward the door.

"I love you guys, really, but my room needs some privacy, so I'm going to ask you—very politely..."

Then, using all his strength, he shoved them out and slammed the door shut, leaning against it while catching his breath.

From outside, Robin was yelling, "Open the door, Blade!"

And Starfire added, "I still need an answer!"

But Blade just grinned, then whispered to himself, "I'll never tell her. Hehehe, I'll let her wonder forever."

Then, as if all of this wasn't enough—"POOF!"—he disappeared in a flash of blue and reappeared right in front of Robin in the living room.

"Robin, Robin, Robin! Let me tell you what an amazing leader you are!" Blade said, his tone dripping with excessive flattery as he placed a hand on Robin's shoulder like an old brother. "You know, I have experience with leaders—I've dealt with Captain America before—and you are definitely... well, way more interesting than him! I mean, has he ever used a bo staff with the same incredible style that you do? I don't think so!"

Robin didn't move. He just stared at Blade with a blank expression before muttering, "You want something, don't you?"

Blade grinned widely. "Robin, how did you know? Are you a mind reader too?!"

He stepped back, placing his hands on his hips with fake seriousness before saying,

"Alright, dearest Robin, my favorite leader—don't tell Batman I said that—I need a tiny little favor, barely worth mentioning."

Robin raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "What is it?"

Blade stepped closer, placing a dramatic hand on Robin's shoulder before whispering as if revealing a dangerous secret,

"I want you to take me to Wayne Plaza..."

A moment of silence. Everyone looked at him with suspicion.

Then, Blade smacked his forehead as if he had made a grave mistake. "Oops! I meant, uh, Batman! Yes, yes, take me to Batman, because, you know, I challenged him to a fight yesterday, and I think he'd be mad if I didn't show up. The last thing I want is to get a sad, threatening text like:

'You disappointed me, Blade. I expected more...'"

For a few seconds, silence filled the room—until Beast Boy burst into laughter, while Starfire stared at Blade in confusion, trying to figure out if he was serious or not.

Cyborg, however, was the only one not laughing. Instead, he let out a long sigh, shook his head, and said in a tired voice,

"Blade... man, you have regeneration. In other words, immortality. Batman, on the other hand, has something way scarier..."

Blade looked at him with curiosity before waving his hand dismissively. "Oh, don't tell me it's super strength or something, 'cause I've seen that already, and bro, that guy punches like he's carrying a small planet in his fist."

Cyborg didn't smile. Instead, he continued,

"He has... absolute planning."

Silence.

Then Blade suddenly burst out laughing. "PFFFT—HAHAHAHA! 'Planning'?! Is that a new type of superpower?!"

Robin crossed his arms. "This isn't a joke, Blade. Batman never enters a fight unless he already knows exactly how he's going to win it. You have regeneration, yeah, but that won't help you beat him. That just means you're going to get your ass kicked hundreds of times while he enjoys his victory."

Blade looked at Robin, then at Cyborg, then slowly raised his hand to cover half of his face—just like Vegeta from Dragon Ball—before dramatically exclaiming,

"Nooo! Absolute planning! My greatest weakness! Oh God, how will I ever face this?! Maybe I should just surrender now and start a new life... as a potato farmer."

Cyborg scowled while Beast Boy nearly collapsed from laughter.

Then, Blade turned back to Robin, placing a hand on his shoulder again, and said:

"But let's be honest, my friend, my leader, oh you, with the hair that makes you look like you walked straight out of an action manga—you want to see this fight, don't you? I mean, let's be real, when was the last time you saw someone with regeneration get strategically beaten down by Batman? This is a golden opportunity, Robin! History will remember it!"

Robin sighed, looking at Blade, then at the rest of the team, who were all watching with great interest.

Finally, he shook his head and said,

"Alright... we'll take you to Batman."

Blade cheered excitedly, "Yes! That's the fighting spirit we love!"

Then he looked at everyone with a sly grin. "Do I need to sign any life insurance papers? Because I feel like I'm gonna need them real soon."

—

As Robin's ship soared through the sky, flying over the dark city of Gotham, everyone sat in their seats in silence, watching the scattered lights below. The atmosphere was calm... too calm for someone like Blade.

Suddenly, Blade turned to the camera—oh, wait, sorry, I mean the reader—and looked directly at them, as if the fourth wall had never existed in the first place.

"Oooooh, look who came back to read this nonsense! Yeah, you! Sitting there behind your screen, thinking, 'Is this idiot actually gonna beat Batman?' Well, let me tell you something, dear reader... You're awesome, but also kinda dumb, because you haven't placed your bet on me yet!"

He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly. "Oh, don't tell me you actually think Batman is gonna win? Really?! You think I'm gonna lose to a guy wearing a suit that costs more than my monthly rent?! Come on, at least give me some respect!"

He took a deep breath, then added:

"Alright, let's be fair... The guy does have 'absolute planning,' which is just a fancy way of saying 'the writer refuses to let him lose without a logical reason.' I mean, seriously, this guy has backup plans for everything! He probably even has a contingency plan for finding out his underwear is inside out!"

He chuckled a bit, then pointed at the reader.

"But here's the real question: You. Yeah, you. Do you believe in me? Do you bet on my victory? Or are you one of those pessimists screaming, 'IMPOSSIBLE! IT'S BATMAN!'? Don't be a coward—give me your opinion! Am I winning, or am I about to become a human punching bag for the King of Strategy?!"

He paused for a moment, as if actually waiting for an answer, then shook his head, laughing.

"Either way, you're all gonna regret not backing me up when I kick his bat-ass! Just wait—the show starts soon."

Then, he turned back inside, where everyone was now staring at him suspiciously.

Beast Boy was the first to speak: "Who were you talking to?"

Blade smirked mischievously. "Oh, just some old friends... Don't worry, they're nice. Kind of."

Robin exhaled deeply, returning his exhausted focus to piloting the ship, while Cyborg shook his head, muttering under his breath, "This guy is completely insane..."

Starfire, her glowing green eyes filled with pure confusion, simply looked at Blade and asked with innocent sincerity, "Are those your invisible friends? Should I greet them?"

Blade let out a loud, amused laugh, then dramatically pointed at the reader again, winking with exaggerated enthusiasm. "You, Star, have officially become my favorite!"

—

As the Titans' sleek, high-tech ship approached Wayne Plaza, everyone observed the landing with careful, calculated precision… Everyone except Blade, who, in his boundless stupidity, decided this was the perfect moment to be a recklessly idiotic superhero.

"SHOWTIME, MOTHERF*ERS!"** he bellowed, practically vibrating with excitement—right before he leaped out of the ship like a lunatic… before it had fully landed.

A moment of eerie silence followed.

Then…

"KRRRRAAAAAACK!!!"

Blade landed directly on his leg, which bent at an angle so horrifyingly unnatural that no human limb should ever bend that way.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! F*!!!"** he shrieked, collapsing onto the cold, unforgiving pavement, clutching his now utterly destroyed leg, which looked distressingly similar to a bundle of uncooked spaghetti.

As the rest of the Titans disembarked the ship like normal, sane people, Blade, writhing in agony, slowly lifted his gaze—not at them, no. Not even at the sky. But at… nothing? No, at the writer himself.

With a trembling hand, he pointed into the void, glaring with the pure, raw fury of a man who had just been personally betrayed by the universe itself. Then, with every ounce of frustration in his soul, he screamed:

"ONE MORE F*ING TIME, YOU ONE-BALLED BASTARD!!!** Was this REALLY necessary?! You couldn't have written me landing gracefully like a normal human being?! NOOOOOOO! You just HAD to make me look like an absolute clown! THANK YOU, OH TORTURE-LOVING WRITER!"

And just like that, "BLOOP!" His leg instantly regenerated, as if nothing had ever happened.

Blade, without missing a beat, stood up like a damn champion, stretched his newly restored knee as if he hadn't just been screaming bloody murder seconds ago, then turned to face the Titans… who were all staring at him in absolute, dumbfounded silence.

Beast Boy, barely containing his laughter, muttered, "Dude, I've seen bad landings before… but that? That was on a WHOLE new level."

Robin, rubbing his temples with visible mental exhaustion, sighed, "Why did I agree to bring you?"

Cyborg, struggling not to laugh, smirked and said, "Oh, it's fine. Just add this to the ever-growing list of dumb s* Blade has done today."**

Starfire, who still didn't understand why Blade had cursed out an invisible entity, gazed up at the sky with solemn seriousness and asked, "Oh, one-balled writer, can you hear us? Why do you torment our friend so?"

Blade cackled wildly, dusted himself off like a man who had just survived a horrific battle, then turned toward the ominously dark center of the plaza. The shadows stretched eerily, swallowing the space before them.

"Alright, alright, enough screwing around… It's time for my glorious, action-packed, fist-filled showdown with the old bat!"

The Titans exchanged cautious, knowing glances before silently following him… toward the unpredictable, chaotic, and completely insane confrontation with Batman!