BOOK 1 - Thirty Years of Mortal Tribulation—Experiencing the Harshest Version of Human Life
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CHAPTER 3 - COMEBACK HOME
- PART 1 -
Fourteen years passed in the blink of an eye. Shi Yan Si had grown, yet his figure remained frail and thin, his face bearing traces of hardship too deep to put into words. To this day, he and Yichang Hua had never grown close; on the contrary, they had only drifted further apart.
According to the pact, upon reaching adulthood, Shi Yan Si was required to leave the valley and return to the Shi General's Manor. By now, not only did Yichang Hua no longer wish to keep him, but Shi Yan Si himself had no desire to remain.
On the night before his departure, Shi Yan Si came to bow three times before Yichang Hua, then silently rose and turned away. From this moment on, the two of them were severed forever, no longer bound by any relationship.
All these years spent quietly in the valley, his struggles with nature had far exceeded his time within any manor walls. He had rarely even seen the man, leading to an affection as thin and cold as frost and snow. It could be said that when he left, he carried not a trace of reluctance.
One day, pausing by the lake, Shi Yan Si gazed at his own reflection in the water. The sight of himself filled him with deep self-loathing: "So ugly... I can barely recognize myself as human anymore... Can I even return home?"
If he returned, would they acknowledge him as their son? Or would he be forced to flee into the deep forests once again?
"No, no matter what, I must return home and face my parents." Perhaps life from now on would be better? If he never tried, he would never know. With this thought, Shi Yan Si steeled his resolve. No matter how arduous the path, he would not waver.
After more than a month of traveling through mountains and forests, asking directions to the Shi General's Manor, he finally arrived. Yet, at this moment, he looked no different from a beggar.
The instant he saw the three grand characters "Shi General's Manor" upon the gate, Shi Yan Si's heart surged with joy. After so many years of hardship, he had finally returned home. The happiness was indescribable!
Thinking of this, he stepped forward without hesitation, only to be immediately stopped by the guards. One of them barked, "From where does this beggar come, daring to disturb the General's Manor?"
Two guards, tall and imposing, made Shi Yan Si falter in fear. He stammered, "I... I am Shi… Shi Yan Si, the son of General Shi... Please, let me enter!"
Upon hearing this, the guards' faces darkened in anger. "Nonsense! When has the General ever had a son named Shi Yan Si? The only young master is Shi Wei Jun! How dare a beggar claim kinship with the General? Get lost before we make you regret it!"
At that moment, Shi Yan Si felt as if lightning had struck his mind... The General had only one son, Shi Wei Jun? Who? Who was this Shi Wei Jun?
"Then... who am I? Is Shi Yan Si a name that never existed? Have I come to the wrong place?" No, impossible! Yichang Hua had always told him that his father was none other than General Shi Nan Xuan!
With that thought, Shi Yan Si hesitantly asked, "Sir... is the General here named... Shi Nan Xuan?"
Hearing this beggar daring to call the General by name, the left guard flew into a rage. With a fierce kick, he sent Shi Yan Si tumbling to the ground and bellowed, "Audacious wretch! Who do you think you are to speak my lord's name? Begone, before I beat you to death!"
Lying sprawled on the ground, a bitter taste filled Shi Yan Si's mouth. "So, I did not come to the wrong place..."
They had truly erased him. No, not just forgotten him—they had completely erased his name from the family records. At that moment, a tremor ran through Shi Yan Si's body. He suddenly let out a laugh, wild and full of defiance. "Kill me? Do you think you can kill me?"
He had been clawed by thorns, ripped apart by beasts, and yet he had survived. And now a mere guard thought to kill him? What a ridiculous notion!
Seeing this filthy beggar laugh so insolently, the guards turned livid. Raising their spears, they struck him repeatedly without hesitation.
Under the rain of blows, Shi Yan Si barely moved, silently enduring the pain. But after a moment, he suddenly lunged forward, grasping the spearheads with both hands and violently drove one into his own chest.
How long would this torment last? Would they only stop when he was dead? If so, he would help them end it more quickly.
For a moment, everyone was stunned. The guards froze in shock, momentarily losing grip of their weapons, rendered speechless.
But Shi Yan Si did not stop there. He forced the spear deeper into himself before collapsing to the ground...
The pain of torn flesh was nothing new to him. He had long grown accustomed to suffering. So he simply sat still, waiting...
This was not his home. He could never return.
And when this agony passed, where else could he go?
His vision blurred. His ears caught the murmurs of onlookers and the rustling of trees...
"The forest..." Yes... He seemed to hear the call of the wilderness once more.
With that thought, Shi Yan Si staggered to his feet, yanking the spear from his chest. Blood poured freely, soaking through his robes. The world before him became a foggy haze. Barely taking a few steps, he collapsed once more.
Exhausted... He only wished to rest for a while, anywhere would do... Once he had recovered, he would return to the forest.
At that moment, a pair of arms caught him. Thinking it was someone familiar, Shi Yan Si smiled faintly and whispered, "Master, are you saving me again...?"
No matter how much you abandoned me, when I hovered on the brink of death, you would always appear.
How irritating... How truly irritating.
No matter how many times that person abandoned him, in the end, whenever he hovered on the brink of death, they would always appear. How utterly detestable… truly hateful…
When Shi Yan Si regained consciousness, he thought he would once again find himself in that familiar place—a small house he had spent fourteen years in, the place he had always returned to after every brush with death. However, the room before his eyes was entirely unfamiliar, and there was someone else present…
"Who… are you?" The person was not Yichang Hua, yet there was something strangely familiar about them, as though they had met before. But… for over a decade in the valley, whom had he ever spoken to? Only… only the Shi family. And they…
The realization that he had no acquaintances here made his unease grow. He could not afford to stay in this place any longer. With that thought, Shi Yan Si hastily pushed himself up, disregarding the grievous wounds that still wracked his body, and swung his legs over the bedside, intending to leave.
Seeing this, the other person immediately intervened. "Where do you think you're going? Your injuries are still severe. Lie back down."
They spoke as they gently pressed him back onto the bed.
The individual's presence was imposing; his tone carried an undeniable authority that left Shi Yan Si momentarily frozen. He cautiously glanced up at them for a long time. That face—he was certain he had seen it before, many times, though always in dreams, vague and shrouded in mist.
"That is…" His gaze fell upon the jade pendant the person was absently turning over in their hands.
Shi Yan Si instantly recognized it. That was his, the only token he had to prove his lineage.
Yet… did it still matter now that the Shi family had erased his name from their records?
At that moment, the man held the pendant out toward him and asked, "Where did you find this?"
"Find it?" Shi Yan Si hesitated. How should he respond? Should he claim he had merely stumbled upon it? Or should he admit that it was rightfully his? And if he did… what then?
His fingers clenched into the sheets as he struggled inwardly before finally murmuring, "It… it belongs to me."
"Yours?" The man's voice held a trace of disbelief, his expression darkening. His eyes locked onto Shi Yan Si, filled with an almost imperceptible disappointment—as if that was not the answer he had wanted to hear.
That gaze sent a sharp pang through Shi Yan Si's chest. He did not understand why, but it hurt. His throat tightened, and in a panic, he hastily denied his own words, stumbling over his own tongue. "No… no… it's not mine… I—I found it on the road! But… but it's very important. Could you… return it to me?"
The man studied him for a moment, then exhaled slowly, as if relieved of some unspoken burden. His voice turned cold. "If it does not belong to you, why do you still wish to take it?"
Hearing this, Shi Yan Si's lips trembled. His vision blurred slightly, but he swallowed down the rising emotion and shook his head. "I… I don't want it anymore."
That jade pendant was the only thing of value he had, yet… keeping it served no purpose anymore.
Shi Yan Si raised his gaze once more, staring at the man, and in a faint voice, asked, "Are you… General Shi?"
"I am."
It was him. Shi Nan Xuan.
The man met his eyes and spoke again, "I hear you came looking for me. What is your purpose?"
Purpose? Did he truly have a purpose? The fragile hope of being acknowledged by his parents had already shattered. The look in Shi Nan Xuan's eyes just now had said it all—he did not want Shi Yan Si to be his son.
Even if it were a lie, Shi Nan Xuan would rather hear that jade pendant belonged to a stranger than to the boy before him.
So this was the truth.
Shi Nan Xuan gazed at Shi Yan Si, and while his expression did not hold outright contempt, there was not the slightest hint of regard either.
If he knew that the boy before him was his own flesh and blood, then what? Would he feel disgusted? Ashamed?
A renowned general—how could he have fathered a wretched creature such as this?
Look at yourself. Skin-and-bones, frail beyond belief, dressed in rags, causing a commotion at his doorstep. A failure of a child, thrown away once and now returned, unwanted.
Yichang Hua had raised him poorly, then cast him back here—did Shi Nan Xuan think he would take him in?
Someone like this… had no right to claim parents at all.
Shi Yan Si slowly shook his head. "I have no business here. I made a mistake. I will take my leave now."
He struggled to rise, intending to leave, but before he could take a step, Shi Nan Xuan stopped him again.
"There is no need. You may remain here until your wounds have healed. Once recovered, you may leave whenever you wish."
After all, it had been his own household guards that had injured this beggar. If he were thrown out now, how would that reflect upon the Shi family? Keeping him here was merely a matter of saving face.
Shi Yan Si understood. He let out a small, almost imperceptible chuckle and nodded. "Very well. I thank you, General."
Shi Nan Xuan shook his head. "No need for courtesy. Rest and recover."
Everything Shi Yan Si had come to learn, he had already confirmed. There was no more need to stay. Shi Nan Xuan had no interest in speaking further—without another word, he turned and walked away.
He did not even bother to return the jade pendant.
That jade had always belonged to him, after all. It would only be given to someone deemed worthy. And seeing that Shi Yan Si was not, he had simply taken it back.
It was only natural.
Yet… why did the thought of it fuel such a burning rage inside him?
Now that the pendant was gone, he could abandon all notions of being acknowledged. It was over. He had nothing left. Nothing.
Only now did Shi Yan Si understand—Shi Nan Xuan's promise from years ago had never been anything more than empty words meant to pacify him. It had been meaningless from the start.
Even if he had returned in a more respectable state, even if he had turned out to be someone great, there was no guarantee that they would have accepted him. Most likely, they would have only resented him further—a burden, an unwanted disgrace.
"Why did they bring me into this world if they hated me so much?"
Why could people be so cruel?
What crime had he committed to deserve all of this?
"If you despised me this much, why didn't you just kill me?" At least then he could have reincarnated, lived another life, found another fate.
"Why give me to Yichang Hua, only to leave me wandering like a forsaken soul?"
Forced to endure every kind of torment, flesh torn, bones shattered, suffering ceaselessly—yet in the end, he could not even die. He could not escape. Because Cầm Sinh held his soul prisoner, bound within his very bones for eternity.
Shi Yan Si's hands clenched into fists, his chest burning with suffocating anguish. His mind was a storm of unanswered questions.
"Can any of you tell me why?"
Why had it come to this?
If he did not seek the truth, he would never be at peace.
From this moment onward, he would find the answers himself.
One day, perhaps, the truth would be laid bare for all to see