Out in the vast expanse of space, where millions and billions of stars shine brightly, there was a state of the art ship that had a single member inside. In this ship, sat a blonde haired man crossing his arms who looked to be around his late 20s early 30s visually. Of course, his actual age was way off from how he looked due to qi, but that didn't really matter at the moment.
What actually did matter was how this man was going to spend his time in space.
Taking out a computer that sat on a white wall table, the blonde haired man began typing and clicking away at it, creating something... special.
These are the chat logs of Sil Blade.
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[Log 1] {Sil} This will be used to list and track the fuckability of each alien race I encounter. I got bored and lonely, so I might as well contribute to a bigger cause.
{Logan} Sil, what the fuck are you doing… On second thought, make sure to try to put in details… or not. I'll delete this once you return. Resume.
{Sil} Thanks Logan.
[Log 2] {Sil} I encountered a race that resembles a unicorn person which is named the Unidae species. They appear almost entirely human except for the horn and shiny white skin. I'll see if I can find some sort of brothel and get a night to relax. I've considered choosing between different abilities each time I bed one of these, but that'll tamper with records. Until I get enough experience with them without an ability, I will not consider using one. Unsure if I should wear a condom… how do space AIDS work?
{Logan} I never expected you to be so scientific about this.
{Sil} I must make sure I remember all the scientific aspects of my exploration. Tonight I will try with this handsome fellow I encountered. It appears I may be the one bottoming.
[Log 3] {Sil} My ass hurts. This guy nearly broke my fucking spine. I could only see stars for the next hour. I think the guy was still fucking me while I was barely there. I have no clue. I need to take the next day off before continuing with this. I'm a little scared to try out the women.
{Logan} Please make sure to practice good aftercare and drink lots of water.
{Sil} What's aftercare?
{Logan} ...
{Logan} I'll send you a detailed document with instructions. Please follow it after you fornicate from now on.
{Logan} Aftercare.doc
{Sil} Thanks.
[Log 4] {Sil} No new partner tonight, still recovering from the last guy. This document Logan sent me is very thorough. But alas very helpful. I feel much better after following the instructions. Not exactly too sure what this BDSM is but if I encounter it I'll know what to do.
{Logan} I'll send you a new document explaining what BDSM is and the origins. Please check your messages now.
{Logan} BDSM_4.doc
{Sil} Logan… is this what you've been doing with my sister?
{Sil} And now he's offline. I knew my sister was nasty… but THAT nasty??... Logan, this is all from the perspective of the person being bonded. Do you get pegged man?
{Sil} Whatever, I'm getting a playlist set up next time. Hopefully it'll be less awkward.
[Log 5] {Sil} I have located a woman of the same race who would be interested in trying things out with me. We have a room set up in a hotel near the ship. Maybe after I could ask her about any gods or powerful beings she knows about. My playlist is set and I brought plenty of snacks.
{Logan} You may call me nasty, but you're the one making this scientific document.
{Sil} Did it take you all night to come up with that roast?
{Logan} I was asleep.
{Sil} I call bull, you never sleep.
{Logan} You might've been right in the past, but thanks to my wife, we regularly sleep together.
{Sil} GROSS GROSS GROSS. Shut up shut up shut up Logan.
{Logan} >:)
{Sil} blocked.
[Log 6] {Sil} The experience this time was not as terrible as it was last time. However, while practicing aftercare, she kept making fun of me for being a newbie and called me a virgin. I have fucked men before, I just never told anyone.
{Logan} Interesting…
{Sil} I thought I had you blocked!
{Logan} Sil, think about it. Who am I?
{Sil} Logan Green.
{Logan} And what is my ability?
{Sil} ... I don't like you.
{Logan} Unfortunately for you, I'm the only person from earth who can still talk to you.
{Sil} Ok. Anyways, this woman was at least better than the last guy.
{Sil} Overall ranking: C tier.
{Sil} Male ranking: D tier, would not recommend unless you're an expert.
{Sil} Female ranking: C tier.
[Log 7] {Sil} Space is really empty. I've just been collecting beast crystals while I wait for the next advanced civilization. I fought against a beast that gave me some trouble. It was one that could control a bunch of vines and kept restricting my movements. Hopefully I can spot a forger soon.
{Logan} I already figured out several ways to use that armor. Make sure to keep it in good condition, I would like to check it out.
{Sil} What are you going to use it for?
{Logan} What else? Fighting.
{Sil} What would you even fight? Don't you just use your robots?
{Logan} Fighting my wife, Sil.
{Sil} Is she still training you? She better not be beating you with an inch of your life.
{Logan} Bon_Suit.PDF
{Logan} I sent the schematics of the armor I want.
{Sil} That doesn't look very armor-like… It looks more like something that would stick to your body really easily.
{Sil} Logan…
{Sil} and he's offline.
[Log 8] {Sil} I believe I have encountered another alien race. This one is called the Thinsel, and they resemble several bird-like species from earth with beaks and feathers. The planet they live on is rather chilly, but they never really developed the need to create warm clothes due to their plumage… I think that's how they developed anyway.
{Logan} Have you spotted a forger yet?
{Sil} I have not. I only just arrived to gather food and materials for my ship. Their food is actually somewhat lackluster in variety, but there is a surprisingly high amount of spicy stuff.
{Sil} For the record, even if I did find a forger, I'm not using the schematic you sent me
{Logan} How unfortunate.
{Sil} I found this secretary bird looking Thinsel who will do her work for a few beast crystals. Either they are using these for energy, or there actually are forgers here. Will update you in the morning.