The guest had been told to leave early because there was an emergency, there really was one . I had come out from the bathroom, when I saw Thane packing his things, he went out into our dressing room and he brought out his jeans and pilled them all up into his suitcase like he was stacking different color of ice cream on a cone.
I almost slipped, while I was trying to rush to ask what he had been doing, in the end, the ground anchored me. I expected him to rush over to help me get up.
I don't know why it hurt so much seeing how he was so stoic about my fall. He just watched me on the wet floor. I tried getting up from where I had sat but the soap residue on my arms caused me to slip and hit my mouth on the floor. I squirmed in pain; I had to figure out an effective strategy for getting up. I un-wrapped my towel with one hand and I placed it on the place where I placed my hands, so I could get up.
I stood up and took my robe and put it on in a rush, then I went to Thane and I placed my hands on his arms.
"Where are you going?" he avoided eye contact as much as possible by turning his head to the other side, like a lifeless standing corpse. He opened his eyes and just stared at the wall.
" I decided to sleep in a different room tomorrow ."
" Thane please don't go, why don't you want to understand that I was set up, don't do this too me"
" Did you care about me, you are disgusting Peace, wait…yesterday night when I had asked you what was wrong, was it this?"
" Did you want to tell me about your affair with luther?"
" Thane! You know how much I avoided him because of you."
" I know, that was why you could not control yourself when you saw him, could it even be..?"
I could not bare the words he had been saying, it was so hurtful. I just wanted to be understood. Maybe there really isn't anything I could tell him to get him to believe me.
" when you went to his hospital and entered his consultant room, was that what it was about. Were you busy doing the deed in there. I never believed you were this lascivious." My head developed a sharp pain upon hearing his words.
" Thane, Thane, why won't you just believe me anymore, you said you would understand as long as I always spoke to you about it truthfully"
" But what do you see in that man" he grabbed me by the waist forcefully. " was I not man enough for you" he then bit me by my neck.
"pl-pl, ple-please, you are hurting me" I whimpered, while trying to free myself from his embrace. I could not breath as he held me so tightly, I just stood there quietly while I allowed him to ravage my neck like a hungry vampire.
" if you,i-if you ever loved me…please stop." I said it passing out as a whisper. It was like the words I spoke had triggered something in him and he threw me to the bed. I felt like there was hope, he didn't push me towards the floor but towards the bed. He still loved me, yes!
He packed some other things and he quickly zipped his bag stormed out of the room. I just stayed there at that spot and I shook in sobs, my eyelids were heavy like I had a very mini-sized dumbbell on my eyes. My chest became tighter and breathing became a chore.
I wanted him to hold me and tell me that he did not believe what he had seen. I wanted him to come back and tell me that he loved me and he would find who would set me up, I wanted him to come back and sing me his apology song he usually sang when he had upset me.
I don't think I can live like this
Thane
I could smell the the dust as I entered into room. I grabbed a lantern that seemed to have been transfixed for a long time, I placed my finger across to know the true colors of the the lantern, and I discovered that my hand had sank an inch. I dropped the lantern and I visualized myself spending the rest of my time here, it was the farthest room from Peace in the house.
I closed my eyes,I was alone. Hot tears flushed down my face. I had been holding down my emotions, I did not want to seem weak. I did not want grandma and aunt or Grace to see that I was moved by the betrayal. I was ashamed of myself for treating peace that way, the way she had cried and begged me to stop hurting her.
At that time, at that time, I felt like a monster, I was trying to make her see that I could make her feel like a woman but my kisses ended up becoming bites. Maybe I just wanted her to feel the same intensity of pain that I had felt.
I loved that woman so much, I just did not know how to handle my emotions. I could not bear to see her in pain, but I also could not believe that she felt like I wasn't going to re-act when she when she would purposefully break my heart. I was not that generous.
I want her to know that she was not going to get away with sleeping with another man.
" Hey grandson" I heard a silient squeak from the door. I cleaned my tears and I listened. " I know that you love peace so much, I respect your decision of moving out of the room and I am not saying that what she had done was not bad but please don't allow this to go on forever. I know that you have a forgiving heart. Forgive her so that you both can move on." Grandma said at the door without opening it. I did not even want her to come In to see me cry. I knew I would just erupt.