Having a Tyrannosaurus rex in front of you is a great way to remind yourself how fragile life is.
And judging by the way his entire velociraptor pack was practically radiating fear, Kerl knew damn well they all had the same thought:
Do. Not. Move.
His mind raced at a million miles per hour, calculating every possible outcome, yet something strange happened—
The T. rex… didn't care?
It barely even glanced at them, lumbering forward on tree-trunk legs, focused entirely on something else.
"Hey! I'm tasty enough, get back here and hunt me, bruh!" he inwardly complained—though, in all honesty, he was really hoping the big guy wouldn't turn back.
As the apex predator disappeared into the jungle, Kerl let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
He mulled over the situation. «So I'm not even worth the effort?»
That stung his pride a little.
But it made sense. Scientists theorized that T. rexes weren't built for chase-hunting—too big, too slow. They were more of an ambush predator. Nice to have that confirmed firsthand.
«Hooray for science… if only I wasn't running for my life.»
As a velociraptor, Kerl was small, fast, and nimble—exactly the kind of prey a T. rex wouldn't bother with. For a predator that size, something as tiny as a raptor just wasn't worth the energy.
Watching it walk away, he couldn't help but think.
«Man, if I find the time machine, I'm gonna revolutionize paleontology. Solving dinosaur mysteries just by being here is kinda OP.»
His mind wandered.
For a moment, he imagined himself returning to the modern world as a revolutionary scientist.
"We love you, mr Kerl Erde! You're the best!" Reporters would gush, cameras flashing in his face.
Maybe even… she would come back.
His wife. The one who hadn't kissed him in eight months ever since he started working on the time machine. He could almost hear her voice—
"erde..." Silhouette of her calling him.
«leah» he called back.
A sharp screech snapped him back to reality. He turned around and it was his Dino underling.
«Right... Dinosaur body. Prehistoric death world. No time for daydreaming.»
All of this—the madness, the struggle—was thanks to the Deus Ex Machina that was his shitty time machine.
If he wanted to return?
He had to find it.
So he decided that even if the T. rex wasn't interested in him… He sure as hell was interested in it.
This was a prime opportunity, while the dino was looking at somewhere else, he could take the chance to ambush it.
He screeched, grabbing the attention of his raptor crew, who all immediately looked at him like he had grown a second head.
Then, using his tail, he flung one of his handmade weapons straight at the behemoth.
It landed.
Right on the T. rex's skull.
The massive predator froze.
Then, slowly, it turned its head, nostrils flaring.
«this is a perfect opportunity to solidify my standing as their leader.» Kerl thought.
Before it could react further, Kerl struck first. At first, the pack was scared of the apex predator. But the sight of Kerl outmanuevering it made them hesitate, losing their fear partially.
Kerl was running around trying to scratch the T-rex from different angles, doing hit n' run to chip out damage. The thing was too slow to resist, it felt like those chunky boss battle, huge guys but no actual skill.
He waited for his pack to join the fun but they were still hesitating, looking from the sideline. «bruh, this big guy's just an easy target. why are they so scared?? god, dinosaurs are so dull. No wonder they went extinct."
During the fight, kerl had a great time. his theory wasn't just right, it was always correct. if not, how would he have what it takes to build a time machine?
Seeing the big one slowly succumbing to the injuries caused by Kerl's relentless assault, the pack decided they have to be part of this.
They swarmed, biting, slashing, and ripping into the T. rex like prehistoric piranhas.
Kerl kept chucking whatever makeshift weapons he had—ropes, stones, sharpened sticks.
«HAH! My impeccable aim, honed by YEARS with Call of Duty!» he boasted inwardly.
The T. rex roared, shaking the ground as it thrashed wildly, snapping its enormous jaws.
One raptor was instantly crushed under its foot—gone in a single step.
Another got caught in its massive jaws, torn in half like wet paper.
But Kerl wasn't stopping.
If he backed off, he would be dumb. Because he knew, that t-rex was NOT gonna beat him.
Using his raptor agility, he leaped towards the T-rex. His claws sinking on the giant's legs as he cling for dear life.
His confidence wasn't without backing tho, t-rex is most formidable at a distance. With it's long neck and giant maws, they can bite target with their long reach. But T. rexes were built for crushing prey, not shaking off tiny parasites. Their short arms couldn't even scratch their own nose, let alone yank off a raptor
Claws sinking into flesh, he climbed higher to its neck, aiming for a vital point.
The T. rex tried to shake him off and was overwhelmed by the verocity of these little demon, making it fall on it's back. The result? it became even more vulnerable to the pack's assault.
It was dangerous but Kerl held on with all his might, if the dino fell atop of him... he would be squashed, the sheer difference in weight is overwhelming, the only thing keeping him alive is his incredible agility.
He lunged, sinking his raptor jaws into its eye socket.
The predator screamed.
It stumbled, flailing blindly as the pack took advantage of the distraction.
They struck its legs, underbelly, and throat.
Wounds multiplied. Blood poured.
The T. rex shook during it's attempt at standing back up—
Then collapsed.
Dead.
Kerl let out a victorious war cry.
"QUACK!"
Silence.
…That was it? that felt like bullying a bodybuilder who had too much muscle and too little mobility.
He had just killed a freaking T. rex, and it barely felt like a fight... Prehistoric animals were just beta test, full of design flaws that led to their own demise.
It reminded him of a quote «The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. And so does those who sticks to one way.»
At this point, he was sure no prehistoric creatures knew how to wrestle like a tiger. Grappling wasn't even a thing yet. Meaning if he just leaned on his childhood WWE memories—with a few techniques from UFC—he'd have an evolutionary advantage over half the food chain.
«So much for being the ultimate predator… i suppose everything on earth is disappointing, be it time machine or the legendary might of dinosaurs.» he thought, as a man who seen it all and made discovery beyond many, he knew how utterly unimpressive the world is.
He turned to his pack.
Two raptors gone—one crushed, the other eaten.
He shrugged, «oh well.. if we dig deep enough in the t-rex belly, we'll reunite with the other guy.»
The survivors didn't hesitate before tearing into the fallen T. rex, devouring their former predator.
Kerl, however, wasn't about to eat raw dino flesh like some kind of caveman.
He grabbed a chunk of meat, made a fire, and started cooking it on a flat rock.
Golden-brown, crispy edges, sizzling in the heat. «they really are the ancestor of chicken huh?»
The delicious aroma filled the air.
«Ain't no way I'm eating prehistoric sushi,» he said to himself, flipping the meat.
Too bad that delicious aroma was also an open invitation.
To every hungry carnivore in the area.
A low growl.
Rustling leaves.
His pack froze, heads snapping toward the sound.
They weren't alone anymore.
Kerl realized his mistake.
The divine smell of cooked meat.
Something these prehistoric creatures had never experienced. a GOURMET
And now, they wanted a taste.
«…Ah, shit.»
He sighed, standing up, getting ready.
"can't even have nice shi in jurassic, bruh."