Carrying a skyscraper-sized murder stork was not how he envisioned his first day as a dinosaur.
The Quetzalcoatlus let out a pitiful honk, shifting slightly on his back. He adjusted his grip, muscles burning as he trudged through the dense underbrush. "Yup. This is my life now. Hauling prehistoric little planes while trying not to die," he muttered.
Still, this wasn't even the worst part of his day. That honor belonged to the realization that he had no idea what the hell he was doing.
"Okay, step one," he grunted, stepping over a massive root, "find shelter. Step two, figure out how to eat without poisoning myself. Step three, don't get eaten by something bigger."
The forest was a fever dream—towering ferns, weird bioluminescent fungi, and trees that looked suspiciously like they could eat him. Vines coiled around trunks thicker than his old lab's water tanks, and somewhere in the distance, a deep, weird noise rumbled through the canopy.
"Oh great," he grumbled. "Haven't been this uncomfortable walking around since I got bullied in high school. Nostalgia, am I right?"
Yeah. He needed a plan—fast.
Every part of him screamed to go get the time machine, but charging straight into prehistoric chaos? Grade-A terrible idea. He was off-course, wildly unprepared, and if this world had one thing, it was way too many things that could eat him.
Rushing in blind? Dead.
Staying put forever? Also dead.
Playing it smart? Maybe not dead.
He exhaled through his raptor nostrils, flaring them more dramatically than necessary. «Alright. Priorities: shelter, food, backup.»
He adjusted the Quetzalcoatlus on his back. «And you, my big feathery friend, are going to help me with that.»
Carefully, he set the giant bird-lizard down, gripping its limp form with clawed hands and powerful jaws to drag it forward.
Narrating to his bored self, he imagined, «I show up to the pack. They see stranger. I bring them giant KFC. They see a hero.»
Speaking of which—
Time to find the locals.
---
The jungle was alive with movement.
Tiny, feathery dinosaurs darted through the undergrowth, snapping at insects. A group of armored, porcupine-looking creatures (Ankylosaurs?) rumbled by in the distance, clubbed tails swinging like wrecking balls.
But he was looking for something specific.
Velociraptors.
And as if the universe heard him, he found them.
A small pack—maybe five or six—lounging near a rocky outcrop, basking in the sun like a lfeathered lizard with murder in their eyes and extra skinny build.
His heart pounded.
«Alright, don't be an idiot. Play this right, or they'll rip you apart faster than a Black Friday sale.»
He slowly set the Quetzalcoatlus down and took a step forward.
Instantly, heads snapped up.
Eyes locked onto him.
One of them—a larger, scarred-up one—rattled its throat and stood, tail swaying.
Alpha.
He took a slow breath. «Okay. No sudden movements.»
They could smell it. Instinct told them: This guy doesn't belong.
Time to fix that.
Lowering his posture, he mimicked their stance. «God, this is awkward. How do NatGeo guys and researchers do this?!»
The alpha tilted its head.
Another raptor let out a low chirp, creeping closer.
He exhaled. «One shot at this.»
So, naturally, he did the most logical thing imaginable.
He screeched.
"QUACK."
The pack froze.
The alpha narrowed its eyes. A long, tense moment stretched between them.
His mind swirled, heart pounding in his raptor chest.
«Oh lord, is this what every unfunny comedian feels like?» He mulled.
His internal monologue spiraled. «God, help me. I'm starting to question all my life choices. But hey! I'm the idiot who decided to play god with a time machine. What right do I have asking for salvation now?»
Then—
The alpha screeched back. "skree."
The tension cracked like a dropped test tube. The pack shifted, tails twitching.
Backing out would be a mistake. He needed to own this.
He ripped a chunk off the Quetzalcoatlus and tossed it toward them. Carefully, he made another noise, thinking, «i sure hope i did it right..»
The raptors nudged the meat before cautiously eating it.
«Okay. Good start.»
He tossed another chunk of meat before forcing out another voice.
"QUACK!"
The raptors reacted strangely but kept accepting his offering. Then, as if in some bizarre prehistoric imitation…
One of them quacked back.
His eye twitched. he could almost hear an imaginary voice inside his head saying "charisma check, successful."
«Do I look like some kind of deranged idol throwing food at fans? damnit, i'm going insane.» He commented, his attempt of communicating with them ended up looking like someone screaming and doing some emote.
Regardless, the pack was warming up to him. He settled amongst them—awkwardly, but progress was progress.
He immediately took a note of the steps ahead.
«step one... thrive»
«step two. Become king of the dinosaurs.»
«Step three. Get the damn time machine back.»
As the raptors rested, full from their unexpected feast, he seized the opportunity. With difficulty, he scavenged sticks and stones, clumsily crafting makeshift tools. Hours passed as he fumbled through the process, claws and lack of dexterity working against him.
«Well,» he sighed, examining his crude handiwork, «velociraptors were built for biting, not arts and crafts. you don't see them makin any cave mosaic..»
Soon after, the pack stirred, stretching out and preparing to move. He strapped the little tools he made– to his back and tagged along with them.
Traversing the jungle, he studied them.
«They're like lions—always on the prowl.»
Except, not really. They weren't strong apex predators, just cunning little demons who relied on teamwork and persistence to eat.
«wait… they're nothing like lions. What was I even thinking?» He shook his head
He noted mentally that his tendency to think too much remains even in a foreign body.. «tch, My brain's running wild again.»
Being alone in an era with no music, no internet, no civilization? A special kind of hell for a modern man. The ominous rattles of ancient creatures had officially replaced his playlist. His only company now is raptors instead of beautiful wife at home. «leah, popcorn, netflix and chill... i miss you.»
«Lucky I got stuck as a raptor instead of an Ankylosaurus. Those things have the brainpower of a brick,»
Honestly, considering how screwed up the time machine was, he should be grateful he wasn't something worse—
Then he saw it.
A shadow.
A huge one.
His stomach dropped.
«No way.»
That wasn't—
It was.
The pack froze. His eyes widened.
His mind screamed.
«Oh. Crap.»
Towering ahead, feathered but monstrous, was the last thing he wanted to see this soon.
The apex predator.
The prehistoric nightmare. Tyrannosaurus
Its massive frame loomed like a living mountain, blending the worst traits of birds and lizards into something that made every instinct in his body scream: RUN.
But he couldn't.
Not yet.
Because no matter how his instinct screamed, he knew not to let his body dictate his choices. He had to stay calm
«if i recall, their unique build makes them relatively weak at grappling, but with raptor's small body... can i do it?»