Shoot, sorry I'm late- once upon a time- nevermind, it's too late for that- I missed the prologue so let's just roll
So uh yeah, there's a girl, I don't know if she's the protagonist so do not relay on me, you've been warned
The wind is swaying wildly making the girls white dress blow in.. which direction is that-
The night was dark, it was cold, the moon's light however was like a slither of hope in this endless abyss
It was brighter than ever, like a spotlight over the girl and WHAT THE FUCK SHE JUST GOT ABDUCTED, IT WAS A FREAKING UFO
Ahm- the girl looked around, bewildered, she thought to herself
'where am I? What I'm the world just happened'
Everything around her was white, too white. The lights felt as though they were burning holes in her eyes
She was seated atop of a round, sliver podium of sorts, there were a lot of green and blue small lights lining the sides of the said podium
She felt like a test subject. Suddenly the door, which I didn't even know was there- flew open
A humanoid creature, an alien, walked in looking panicked
It was wearing a white space suit with pipes and what not attached to it, it however did not have a helmet or whatever the hell those are called on but even so it's face was not at all detailed, like it was blurred or something
The alien has light green shiny looking skin, large beady black eyes with no white present, I think- short brown hair- wait hair?? What the hell
And had a.. antenna..? On it's head that had a small red bead on top and it was glowing
"You have no idea how many rules I'm breaking, but my Human Studies test is tomorrow and I'm in desperate need of help"
The alien said and closed the door looking like they were gonna was out any second from panic
The girl- legit forgot about her, stared at the alien in absolute surprise- is that even a term?
The girl finally spoke, her voice, although low, sounded loud in the empty space
"Aliens actually exist..?"
"Of course they do dumbass!"
"You dragged me here, show some respect!"
"Have your y/n moment later and help me!"
Bro really pulled the y/n card. The girl, -who I still have no idea who she is-(I really hope a really detailed description speech comes around soon-) looked the alien and rolled her eyes before saying
"I failed my human studies exam twice"
...
"..."
"DUMBASS-"
The alien started panicking, as they should
"Why do I have suck rotten luck, I'm stuck with this stupid human-"
"Fine! I'll help you!"
How the fuck- anyway, after hearing this the alien stopped frantically walking around
"So I fali like you?!"
The girl let out a offended gasp
"Shush, I'll teach you stuff no one knows about"
Mom come pick me up I'm scared.. no because why is she smirking like that?!
"W-what do you mean"
"You'll see.."
The next day.. I'm scared
The alien ran into the secret room, I assume it's a secret room otherwise this is a dumb move
The girl, who was sleeping peacefully on the podium startled awake and fell face down before looking up
She saw who it was and instantly smiled sweetly, too sweetly
"How did it go~?"
She sing-songed
"I.. I can't believe I actually passed!"
The alien said joyfully while the girl looked proud
"The essay was so simple too! My teacher asked how I knew how these things I told her it was secret"
The girl nodded looking proud
The alien went over the content of the essay it had written
"Humans: girs with daddy issues love BL, boys with daddy issues have a fragile male ego. History: Man went to art school for lover but didn't get in started WW2. Moved on from alien theories to start tussling with one another. Man stops bike, old Bertha flys from the force telepathycally and becomes a child throwing a tantrum.Man sells the same phone every year and the only thing fans can now talk about us its colour. All hail Danny, the YouTube and tiktok creator. I've been a nasty Mort, I've been, I've been a nasty Mort, fanfic is peak"
What the actual fuck did I just hear... Is this woman even sane anymore??
"I told you I'd sum up humans in a few sentences"
"Thank you"
The alien said softly, this was truly the best thing that could have happened
"Cool now lemme go back"
The small smile of the aliens face fell slowly and was replaced by a grim expression
"I'm afraid we cannot do that Ms Ophelia"
Wait what?? The scenery slowly shifts to something that is similar to what we saw till now but not exactly, the too white room is padded while the podium is actually just another soft surface
The alien too finally came into focus and it was a black eyed with large black rimmed glasses with short brown hair woman in a white coat.. she was psychologist
"Our session ends here.. "
She said with a sigh
"Hopefully next time we'll be able to talk about something other than this.. "true event" in your life"
...
T-that's the end? What the hell?? How, what, why-
Wait don't turn off the mic yet! Wai-
The end
:3
Author: yeah I'm actually alive people just going through too much, I'll update my main story in a few days and tell y'all about it till then enjoy this crack and yeah like the title suggests you can comment requests/ideas for one shots and no I will not update this regularly, it's only gonna be when I feel like it so yeah