Chapter 16: Boase Proposes to Saraswati
That night, the gentle breeze carried the faint scent of jasmine. Saraswati sat on her porch, gazing at the sky filled with stars. Her heart was restless, though she couldn't quite understand why. Lately, Boase's presence in her life had become more significant, more profound. She knew something was slowly growing in her heart—something that both frightened and warmed her at the same time.
In the distance, footsteps approached. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. Only Boase moved with such calmness, as if bringing a sense of security wherever he went.
"Saraswati..." Boase called her name softly.
She turned to look at him, seeing the man who now stood before her with an expression full of certainty. There was something different in his eyes that night—something deeper, more serious.
"May I sit?" Boase asked, his gaze filled with affection for the beautiful woman before him. Despite his composed demeanor, his heart pounded wildly inside his chest. He was afraid—afraid his love would not be reciprocated, afraid Saraswati would reject him and push him away. But Boase had already made up his mind. He had convinced himself that tonight, he would propose to Saraswati.
She nodded slightly, and Boase took a seat beside her. Silence enveloped them, the only sounds coming from the chirping insects in the night. For a moment, he took a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to say something significant—something that would change everything between them.
"Saraswati, I don't want to beat around the bush anymore," he said softly but clearly. "I love you. I love Amara. I want to be a part of your lives."
Saraswati's heart pounded loudly. Her eyes widened, and her breath hitched. His words came faster than she had anticipated. She had suspected that Boase harbored feelings for her, but hearing him say it so directly, so intimately, left her momentarily speechless.
"Boase…" Her voice was barely above a whisper, lost amid the racing of her heart. She lowered her gaze, as if trying to hide the turmoil of emotions inside her. She didn't dare meet his eyes, and she didn't know how to respond. Boase could sense her hesitation. He understood.
Boase smiled, but it was a smile filled with resolve. He reached out and gently held her hand, feeling its warmth against his own. "I want to marry you, Saraswati. I want to be with you, to build a family with you. I want to be a father to Amara—not just a visitor in her life. I want to protect you, love you, and make you happy."
Saraswati lowered her head even more. A warm sensation coursed through her veins as Boase's touch sent a rush of emotions into her chest, making it feel tight. She wanted happiness, but the shadows of her past still held her captive.
"I... I don't know, Boase," she whispered. "I'm afraid."
Boase looked at her tenderly. "What are you afraid of, Saraswati?"
She bit her lip, trying to suppress the storm inside her. "I'm afraid of making the wrong choice again. I've already lost someone I loved. I know how it feels to lose, to be left behind. If I accept your love, what if one day I have to go through that pain again? I don't want Amara to experience that either."
Boase reached for her face gently, tilting her chin so she could look at him. He caressed her cheek, his touch warm and reassuring. "I understand your fears, Saraswati. I can't promise that life will always be smooth. I can't promise that there won't be sadness in the future. But what I can promise is that I will always be here for you and Amara. I won't leave. I will fight for us."
Saraswati shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Boase, this isn't just about me. Society will talk. They will never accept a widow remarrying so easily. They will question your intentions. They will judge us. I don't want to live under the shadow of their opinions again."
Boase gently squeezed her fingers. "Saraswati, I don't care what others say. I only care about you and Amara. We don't live to please them. We live for our own happiness. And I want my life to be with you."
Saraswati remained silent. A battle raged within her heart. There was a part of her that wanted to trust Boase, to move forward. But another part kept whispering fears, doubts, the wounds of the past that had not completely healed.
"I'm sorry, Boase. I need time…" she finally said, her voice barely audible. Her head lowered once more.
Boase gave a small smile, though there was sadness in his eyes. Yet, he nodded, accepting her decision with understanding. "I understand, Saraswati. I won't force you. I just want you to know that my love is sincere. I will wait for your answer, no matter how long it takes."
Saraswati searched his eyes, looking for certainty. And all she found was honesty, affection, and a patience that seemed endless.
Boase stood up, looking at her one last time before saying, "I will wait for you, Saraswati. Until you are ready."
Then he walked away, leaving Saraswati engulfed in a storm of emotions. On one side, her heart wanted to believe, to accept. But on the other, the fear of repeating the past kept her frozen in place.
Unbeknownst to them, their conversation had been overheard by Ratna from the living room. Her heart stirred upon hearing Boase's proposal to her daughter-in-law. Ratna was taken aback, not expecting Boase to confess his intentions so soon.
For Saraswati, for the first time in a long while, a question echoed in her mind—did she deserve to be happy again?