"By the way, once you're officially registered, you'll have three days of exclusive rights—your wedding night, honeymoon, and a private period. Make sure to embrace her plenty, alright?"
Yata-chan grinned mischievously, making an obscene gesture with both hands.
Misago turned red. I got embarrassed just by association.
"Alright, clear out, clear out! Anyone getting in the way will get kicked by a horse!"
With that old-fashioned exclamation, the inn staff scattered.
"Anyway, you two should submit this paperwork while you're out on your date… then head straight to the hospital for a health check and vaccinations. I've already arranged it."
Yata-chan gestured at the documents with her chin.
"That won't be necessary."
A firm voice cut in.
"This is the Male Protection Bureau. Shouldn't you have contacted us first?"
A group of three women in formal business suits had appeared. They were all beautiful but had a strict, intimidating aura.
"You're quite late, aren't you? I expected you to arrive yesterday."
Yata-chan smirked sarcastically.
"We don't need to hear that from the ones who tried to bribe the higher-ups with semen samples to halt our investigation."
Yata-chan simply shrugged in response.
"I don't recall sending anything like that."
She let out a hearty laugh.
"We could charge you with kidnapping at any time, you know?"
Suddenly, I was being treated like a crime victim.
"Charges?"
"Private monopolization of a male, abduction, unlawful confinement, obstruction of information, and non-consensual semen extraction!"
Is that even a crime? As far as I remember, it was consensual.
"Nonsense. It was mutual."
Yata-chan dismissed it with a single, casual remark.
"Underage sexual misconduct! And rape!"
That was their real accusation.
"The individual in question is already an adult."
All eyes turned to me in shock. I froze up.
"Under the Male Protection Act, emergency evacuation, male free will, and special exemptions for rare individuals apply. There's no case of forced abduction, confinement, or sexual exploitation here, correct?"
A clear but slightly hesitant voice reinforced Yata-chan's argument.
Turning toward the speaker, I saw a beautiful woman in traditional Japanese attire—likely someone affiliated with the inn.
She seemed a bit weary but still stunning. Her facial features bore a resemblance to Yata-chan and Misago.
"You're late, Tsugumi."
Yata-chan called her name as if this was all expected.
"You dumped all the paperwork on me. Honestly…"
Tsugumi sighed before looking up resolutely.
"That being said, we believe no wrongdoing occurred. If necessary, we can provide surveillance footage and audio recordings as evidence."
"Wait, no! Mom, stop it!"
Misago screamed, turning bright red. So, she's her mother? That means she's technically my mother-in-law… Should I have greeted her properly first?
"Everything was recorded for crime prevention, including potential rape accusations."
Yata-chan smirked confidently. As if to demonstrate, she wrapped an arm around my waist and started caressing my lower back—no, my butt. A shiver ran down my spine at the sensation.
"See? He doesn't seem to mind, does he?"
She sounded proud of herself. I suppose calling her out for this in public would be a losing battle.
The protection bureau agents looked horrified. Well, that reaction was understandable.
"I don't particularly mind, I guess?"
I let out a sigh as I spoke.
"Are you convinced now?"
"H-He's just saying that under pressure!"
"Do you really think I'd lose an argument? If you'd like, I can step back and let Misago and Tsugumi handle this while Hisui speaks for himself."
Yata-chan confidently withdrew a little.
Then, she suddenly pulled me closer and whispered in my ear.
"Say whatever you want. As a rare individual, it'll just be noted in the records."
"Wait, there's actually a classification for 'rare individuals'?"
"They're uncommon but do exist. Someone like you, who doesn't reject females, is an anomaly. Honestly, just seeing you interact naturally with Misago is enough to convince them."
"Besides, we have this."
Tsugumi, who had somehow moved closer, held up a piece of paper.
"As of now, there's no genetic data for Hisui in the system. There's no record of you in this world, meaning this is the only plausible explanation."
The document looked like medical test results, but without specialized knowledge, I couldn't understand it.
Yet, it seemed these two were fully aware of what it meant.
"Then, what about them?"
"They're bureaucrats. The Male Protection Bureau mostly exists to act like they're doing something. Even if they lose the argument, male autonomy takes priority. If you say you want to stay here, they can't do anything. So just relax."
That was a pretty ruthless assessment.
"Then…"
Suddenly, I felt a hand brush against me over my clothes. Even though it was just a fleeting touch, the sensation sent a jolt through me.
"We'll continue this later, alright?"
Yata-chan grinned mischievously.
Author's note :
Tsugumi Umino lost some influence due to kicking out a certain man. Though she says it doesn't bother her, it's clear she's been pushed into dealing with all the behind-the-scenes work and cleanups. She has pretty bad luck.
This novel has been lovingly translated by https://www.patreon.com/Jenuinez_translation