Hey… Wake up.
Uhhh, no way, let me sleep a bit longer.
Ohhh, you dare challenge me?
Alright, I'm sorry, I'll get up right away.
Too late!
My leg suddenly shot straight up, my eyes widened.
And then… a scream echoed throughout the room.
Leg cramps are the worst thing to ever happen to mankind...
After a few minutes, I collapsed onto the floor and just lay there motionless.
This is how it all went down…
Flashback...
Quick summary!
"They're back!!"
"Woohoo! Mr. Tyler and… someone? Are back!!"
The students from Class F and a few others rushed over, worried about Tyler.
Well, at least two people cared about Kai.
"What happened to you in there?" Baron looked at Kai, who had just been placed on the ground, completely motionless.
"A lot of messed-up shit, I swear, my current condition feels like I just watched a live-action Snow White movie."
"Snow White what?"
"Nothing, forget it."
"Are you okay??" Alice ran over, looking worried.
"No. Just take me to a bed, I'm exhausted..."
"Wait! You look like you're starving. Here, drink this!"
"I never said anything about—ughaha!!"
Alice shoved an entire bottle of water into my mouth, making me choke and cough uncontrollably.
Baron sighed as he watched me.
'Why the hell am I even worried about this guy?'
After that, everyone started heading back to the academy. No one died.
But in exchange… I suffered.
At least…
"No money to pay for the inn or dorm? I'll cover it! After all, I'M THE RICHEST ONE HERE!!" Baron struck a pose, eyes sparkling, nose lifted high.
"Dude, you're truly a kind soul in this cruel world." I grabbed Baron's hand, and as we looked at each other, sparkles and flowers bloomed around us.
Meanwhile, Alice…
"You don't have money for food? Geez, good thing my family bakes a lot. Here, take this."
"Bro..."
"I'm a girl."
"Bro..."
"...I said I'm a gi—"
And just like that, I wasn't starving anymore. Good deeds really do pay off.
But what about the tests?
"Hola!" Tyler suddenly appeared at my inn room's door.
"...How do you even know I'm here?"
"Because I'm your teacher. Now shut up and let me in!"
Tyler casually walked in, rummaged under my bed, and muttered something like, "No adult magazines? What a good kid."
So is he here to teach me or just to be a weirdo?
"Alright, I brought some study materials for you. If you don't get something, just ask me!"
"Ah, thanks."
I sat down at my desk. Meanwhile, he climbed onto my bed and sprawled out like he owned the place.
Whenever I get stuck, he helps me out.
Until…
"By the way, Kai, what's your type of woman?"
"Huh? Why are you asking that all of a sudden?"
"Can't a teacher be curious about his students' preferences?" Tyler smirked.
"Have you ever heard of something called privacy, sir?" I shot him a look.
"Oh, come on~" Tyler gave me puppy eyes.
If he were a girl, I might've tolerated that.
"My type is..."
My face turned extremely serious, as if this were the most important thing ever.
"BIG BOOBS, BIG ASS, BIG THIGH, PERFECT BODY, BEAUTIFUL, THE SOUL!!!"
"Dude, that's literally every guy's answer." Tyler raised an eyebrow but didn't argue.
"Well… I like intellectual girls."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Because I don't want to love a doll that only knows how to nod. I need someone who dares to argue with me, who dares to pull me back when I'm wrong, who dares to stand by my side and take care of our family. Also she look cute with a glass."
"That's... Wow." Tyler gave me a suspicious look.
"What? You have problem?." Kai frowned at Tyler.
"No... have you ever met a girl like that?"
"Are we here to study or to discuss my type of women?"
End of flashback...
Well, after that study session, the day has finally come.
Today, I have to take the makeup exam… along with Baron.
At least I'm not taking it alone. Otherwise, it'd be depressing as hell.
I looked into the mirror, staring at this golden snake-shaped earring.
I hate this thing.
It gives me two new abilities (at least, that's all I know for now):
1. It makes everything appear in slow motion to me.
The downside? My eyes get insanely itchy, and my brain feels like it's melting from processing too much information.
2. It grants regeneration, no matter how severe the wound.
The catch? It rewards me with full-body pain worse than getting kicked in the balls.
Yeah… not exactly the best deal.
Other than those two, has it changed anything else about my body?
Uh… no? I don't have superhuman strength, crazy mana reserves, or anything like that. I'm still just me.
Sighing, I put on my academy uniform and stepped out of the inn.
"Ugah!"
A few minutes into my walk, I noticed a girl lying in a bush.
"Blagh!"
"Ewww!!" I recoiled, pinching my nose as I looked at her.
"A-are you okay??"
She turned to me—light pink hair, really cute.
"I-I'm fine—BLEGH!!"
She immediately puked all over my uniform.
"..."
I let out another long sigh.
"S-sorry!! I didn't mean—bugh… agh..."
Alright, please stop. I'm begging you, no more puking.
Looking around, I saw no one else nearby. Guess I had no choice but to take her to a public restroom.
Standing in front of the women's restroom, I really didn't wanna go in.
But if I left her out here puking like this, her reputation would be ruined… even though I had no idea who she was.
"…Please don't let anyone see me and call me a pervert."
And so, I helped her into the restroom, opened a stall, and sat her down near the toilet.
"BLEGH!!!"
Ugh… I regret this so much.
A few minutes later, the entire restroom reeked of vomit. She washed her face, then turned to me and bowed apologetically.
"I'm so sorry!!!"
"Don't worry about it. Just find a way to get this puke off my uniform, and we're good."
"Ah! Wait a sec!"
She dug into her bag and pulled out a long sword.
"How the hell did you even fit that thing in there?" I looked between the sword and her bag.
"Hold on..." She scribbled something onto the blade.
The writing began glowing.
"Begone, puke!!!!"
And then… the vomit on my uniform burst into flames.
"..."
So I jumped straight into the nearest lake while she kept apologizing nonstop.