Menma swaggered into the Hokage Building, heading straight to the Hokage's office. Looking at the most well-endowed woman in Konoha sitting before him, he grinned and announced, "Master Hokage, Menma is here!"
Tsunade raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Menma, what did you just call me? Hokage-sama?" Normally, this brat called her Sister Tsunade when he was in a good mood and just Tsunade when he was irritated.
"Of course. After all, you're the Fifth Hokage," Menma said smoothly, sitting down like he owned the place and pouring himself a cup of tea.
"You little brat—so impolite!" Tsunade snapped.
"Oh please, do I need to be polite with Sister Tsunade?" Menma shot back with a smirk. "Anyway, where's Jiraiya-senpai? Is he slacking off again?" Menma had noticed that the other Hokage—Dark Hokage Jiraiya—wasn't around.
Currently, Konoha had two Hokage. One was the official Hokage, Tsunade. The other was the unofficial, behind-the-scenes Dark Hokage—Jiraiya. It was a bit like the dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke from the original story.
But unlike Naruto, Tsunade was much more cunning. Dark Hokage? Screw that. You're working for me, old man!
Whenever she was in the village, she worked as Hokage. But the moment she was out, she'd use the Transformation Technique to sneak off to the casino. Truly, some habits die hard.
Jiraiya wasn't much better—three days of working, two days of slacking. The Third Hokage would probably cough up blood if he saw how things were running now.
Speaking of the retired Third Hokage, he was living that grandpa life—at home taking care of the baby, urging his eldest son to keep working on grandkids, and telling his younger son Asuma to "shut the windows and get busy with Kurenai!"
Asuma couldn't even go home. "Dad, this is too fast—I can't make tofu when the pot isn't even hot yet!"
Back in the Hokage office, when Tsunade heard Menma bring up Jiraiya, her fury exploded. She slammed the desk hard.
CRACK!
The table broke again.
Desk: "What did I ever do to deserve this?! (RIP ×N times)"
Shizune, standing nearby, sighed. ╮(╯▽╰)╭
"Lady Tsunade, that's the second desk you've destroyed this month."
Tsunade looked mildly embarrassed. ￣□￣｜｜
Then, glancing at Menma, her expression immediately shifted back to a smile. "Shizune, it's just a table. Are you afraid Konoha's going to go broke with Menma around?" She looked at Menma like a vampire sizing up a fresh victim.
Menma: "What's this got to do with me?"
He turned to Shizune and said seriously, "If it's about money, don't come to me. If it's not about money, also don't come to me."
Then he added playfully, "You know what? I'll go tell Naruto that Sister Tsunade misses his 'dowry' every day."
Wait, no—Naruto probably didn't even know what a dowry was. Better to say:
"Hey, Naruto, we might not be able to eat Ichiraku Ramen anymore."
Naruto would definitely ask, "Why, brother?"
And Menma would reply, "Because Sister Tsunade is always eyeing my money. She wants me to 'donate' it."
Heh…
The corners of Menma's mouth curled into a grin at the thought.
Tsunade frowned. "Can't you be a little more generous? You've got so much money—it wouldn't kill you to donate some."
She knew Menma was filthy rich. Though she wasn't sure exactly how much, it was definitely a lot.
"No way. I'm stingy," Menma said firmly. "That money comes from my blood, sweat, and tears—from writing novels and running the Kurama Shop, got it, Sister Tsunade?"
Meanwhile, his clone: "Who's doing all that again? Who's the one actually writing novels? Who's working that shop?!"
"Fine, fine, I don't want your money," Tsunade huffed.
Instantly, Menma wiped away the tears he had almost shed and returned to normal.
Tsunade: "."
Crack!
Her heart shattered. The money she had almost gotten just flew away.
"Sister Tsunade, you have to keep your word!" Menma said, rubbing it in.
An invisible knife pierced her poor Hokage heart.
Pfft! She nearly coughed up blood on the spot.
Gritting her teeth, fists clenched, she muttered, "Got it…!"
Dark Hokage, where the hell are you?! Get back here and help this old lady!
Elsewhere, in a bathhouse in Konoha, a certain white-haired pervert was peeping through a tiny hole in the wall, face flushed. His lower half had a reaction.
Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine.
"Did… did someone find me?" Jiraiya muttered.
—
Back at the Hokage's Office:
"Sister Tsunade, Kakashi said you asked me to come. Was there something you wanted?" Menma asked. They had been chatting for a while, and Tsunade still hadn't gotten to the point, so he brought it up.
"Oh, right!" Tsunade snapped her fingers. "You graduated from the Academy today, didn't you? I was thinking… you're so strong, you don't really need a teacher, do you?"
She was right. With Menma's current strength, he didn't need someone to guide him—more like the other way around.
Menma stayed quiet, curious where this was going.
"I've decided to place you in the Anbu. What do you think?" Tsunade asked, eyes fixed on him.
The Anbu?
The elite Assassination and Tactical Squad, founded by the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju. Answerable only to the Hokage. It was the first ninja black-ops group in the Five Great Nations and had been copied by every other major village.
Anbu members were top-tier shinobi. Their duties included guarding the Hokage, protecting the village from outside threats, conducting enemy reconnaissance, and carrying out assassinations. They wore white animal masks and kept all missions classified.
"Not bad. The legendary Konoha Anbu… sounds interesting," Menma mused. Though to be honest, he'd rather stay home and nap. Menma was in full salted fish mode these days.
Where's Uchiha Obito now? Where's the Akatsuki?
He didn't know, but he was sure they'd appear eventually. And let's not forget—he was still the Jinchūriki of Kurama.
For now, all he needed to do was get stronger. But why train personally when you have clones?
Ever since learning the Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu, Menma had stationed a hundred clones in the mountains behind the village. They trained day and night, and every time a clone dispelled, the results of that training fed back into him.
Then he'd summon a hundred more and repeat the cycle. His strength grew every single day.
But this method only worked for him. Naruto had tried it once and nearly collapsed after just a few rounds.
Kurama had commented at the time, "Only you could use such a crazy method."
So Menma never let Naruto train that way again.
Menma sighed with pride. "Man… I really am a genius."
Kurama's voice echoed in his mind: "You shameless brat."
As for joining the Anbu? Of course he'd send a clone. Menma's motto: If there's work to be done, let the clone do it!
Clone: "You're really a dog, you know that?"
(End Of Chapter)
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