Beidou grinned, "No kidding, it's working wonders, you look amazing."
Ningguang blushed faintly, "So, Captain, care to taste my lipstick tonight?"
Beidou froze, eyes wide, "Wait, what now?"
The broadcast chat erupted, gossip igniting like wildfire across Teyvat.
Albedo: "Oh, this is a delightful twist," he mused.
Arataki Itto: "Huh? What's the deal? Can you eat lipstick?" he scratched his head.
Paimon: "I'm lost too, what's she mean?" she chirped.
Lisa: "Sweet innocents, tasting lipstick means a kiss, naturally," she purred.
Paimon: "A kiss?!" she squeaked, reeling.
Arataki Itto: "Why kiss? Just chomp the lipstick, done!" he boasted.
Kuki Shinobu: "Boss, your logic is a maze," she sighed.
Jean: "@Lisa, careful, there are kids watching," she warned.
Keqing: "Ningguang, you're into Beidou like that?!" she gasped.
Beidou: "Ningguang, you've got those kinds of feelings for me?" she stammered.
Ningguang: "I don't, it's nonsense, this is all fake, a wild spoof!" she protested.
Baizhu: "So, the rivalry with Beidou was a cover for this?" he teased.
Ningguang: "@Baizhu, your pay's docked this month," she snapped.
Baizhu: "No, please, I take it back!" he begged.
Ping: "Youth today, I'm too old to keep up," she chuckled.
Yanfei: "Liyue law doesn't ban it, though it's uncharted territory," she noted.
Qiqi: "Qiqi doesn't get it, just wants coconut milk," she mumbled.
Ningguang glared at the chat, scribbling names of her mockers in fury.
How dare they feast on her dignity with such glee?
The screen shifted, all eyes on Beidou as anticipation peaked.
She grabbed Ningguang's lipstick and swallowed it whole, no hesitation.
"Well, it's kinda bland, honestly," Beidou shrugged, chewing done.
Ningguang blinked, utterly dumbfounded by the move.
The chat froze, then exploded in a torrent of laughter and disbelief.
Xander: "I had hopes, and you give me this?!" he choked, incredulous.
Beidou: "What else did you expect, kid? Why make me a dolt?" she growled.
Xingqiu: "That's classic straight-girl energy, Captain," he observed.
Arataki Itto: "See? Told you, eat it and you're set!" he crowed.
Yae Miko: "Such a twist, I might try this with Ei sometime," she giggled.
Ei: "Don't even think it," she deadpanned.
Ayaka: "Liyue's playing wild games, what is this?" she marveled.
Thoma: "It's just a spoof, not real, probably," he hedged.
Zhongli: "In rational terms, it's plausible fiction," he mused.
Wendy: "Oh, this is gold!" he sang.
Hu Tao: "Wangsheng's summer sale, spend 10,000 Mora, get a free gift!" she pitched.
Zhongli: "Hallmaster, this isn't the place for that," he chided.
Hu Tao: "Then pay your tab yourself, huh?" she retorted.
Ningguang, onscreen, reeled from Beidou's lipstick-eating stunt.
She'd planned this rare night, now spiraling into absurdity.
Still, she pressed on, masking her shock with forced grace.
"Thanks for joining me, Beidou, it's been a lovely evening," she said.
Beidou smirked, "Rare praise from the Tianquan, I'm flattered."
"It's a perfect night, don't you want to make it unforgettable?" Ningguang hinted.
Beidou tilted her head, "Nah, I'm good."
Ningguang's jaw dropped, her subtle cue lost in the wind.
Beidou's bluntness was a wall, unyielding and oblivious.
The chat dissolved into hysterics, Teyvat's viewers clutching their sides.
Such a daft, delightful scene was a rarity in their world.
Xander, at home, cackled, his creation exceeding all expectations.
Beidou's straight-arrow charm clashed hilariously with Ningguang's finesse.
He'd spun this from a niche spoof, now a Teyvat-wide riot.
The Shadowfang Blade pulsed faintly, as if amused by the chaos.
Ningguang's poise cracked, Beidou's shrugs fanning the flames.
The pavilion gleamed under moonlight, a stage for this farce.
"Gift incoming for our stars!" the broadcast teased, trinkets on the way.
Ningguang would get a plush Beidou, Beidou a gilded lipstick case.
Xander leaned back, savoring the uproar he'd unleashed.
Liyue slept beyond his walls, blind to the storm he'd stirred.
The chat rolled on, a cascade of mirth and mock outrage.
This was his art, bending Teyvat's titans into gleeful fools.
He'd keep his role veiled, a shadow pulling strings in silence.
The broadcast hummed, its next draw a prize for his mischief.
Ningguang's elegance, Beidou's grit, forever twined in this jest.
Teyvat laughed, a world briefly united by his whimsical hand.
***
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