Zayn and Tora spent the next two hours of class together. Zayn understood much faster than Tora and briefly explained certain points, which was enough for Tora to keep up. At the end of each class, Tora had to support him to move around. Although all the classrooms were on the same floor, the hallways seemed endless, and they were constantly late. The teachers, though understanding, didn't hide their displeasure.
At 16:00, they had to part ways for their second language classes. Zayn had German, while Tora was taking a Japanese course.
— Wait, you chose Japanese even though you're Japanese ? That's cheating !
— If I had taken something else, I probably wouldn't have passed. I'm not as studious as you.
— No, you don't get it. It's literally impossible to learn a second language in school. The goal is just to get good grades anyway.
— Ah, so I wasn't the only one who was bad at it !
— Nope. Everyone is, except those who already speak the language. Anyway, kartoffel mit Marmelade !
— What does that mean ?
— "See you soon."
— In that case, kartoffel mit Marmelade !
As with the previous two times, Tora was late, having had to accompany Zayn to his class. But this time, Zayn wasn't there to act as a shock factor.
— Excuse my tardiness, I...
— Already getting into bad habits, I see! the teacher shouted, clearly determined not to let it slide.
— Actually, I had to help...
— I don't care about your lame excuses! Hurry up and sit down, and keep your head down. Try not to draw attention for the rest of the class !
"He's annoying !"
Immediately, all the students' attention turned to Tora. Over fifty pairs of eyes were focused on him with every step he took. He felt increasingly uncomfortable, not because of the students themselves, but because of the heavy atmosphere the teacher had created around him. It was as if the teacher was trying to punish him in his own way. As he finally reached a desk, he heard the teacher's voice behind him with that same unbearable tone.
— Honestly, how are parents raising their children these days ?!
"If he won't shut up !"
Tora turned around and stared the teacher straight in the eye.
— I couldn't tell you, sir. They died before I had the privilege of knowing.
It was a lie, of course, but the teacher's reaction was exactly what he had hoped for.
— I... uh... the teacher stammered, panicked.
— Oh, and earlier you said you didn't care. But the reason I was late is that I was helping my disabled friend get to his class right before the lesson started.
He calmly sat down at his desk and looked straight ahead without looking down. All the gazes, filled with judgment and disgust, now turned toward the teacher.
"Your turn to feel uncomfortable now."
— Well... let's pick up where we left off.
Despite his crushing Caleby, Tora still didn't feel any better. This time, it was something else. A more familiar feeling.
He silently watched the other students chat and have fun. Seconds seemed to stretch into minutes, and minutes into hours. Time dragged on, and his torment seemed endless.
This kind of feeling, he had lived through it countless times. Since his early childhood, he had been avoided, and whenever he tried to get close to someone, to show who he really was, he ended up being rejected. So, he had learned to act differently with others. It allowed him to maintain some semblance of contact, without ever managing to form real bonds. He ended up spending most of his time alone, wondering what was wrong with him and why the others seemed to be having so much more fun than he was. He was forced to feel every second of his loneliness.
That was also why he didn't want to go to school—he was desperately trying to escape that feeling at all costs. At home, he could be alone in peace. After all that time spent in his room, he had managed to forget that sensation, but now everything had come rushing back like a slap in the face.
Until now, he had stayed with Zayn, and he hadn't even had to think about it. He hadn't realized the effect Zayn had on him. Zayn was someone he could be himself with, someone he felt safe with.
"He's someone important."
He glanced at his watch. 16:30h.
"Another 30 minutes ?! It feels like time has frozen."
A few minutes later, which felt like an eternity, he looked again. 16:35h.
"It has barely moved ! Why is this taking so long ?"
The waiting was starting to exasperate him. Every nerve in his body was tense, ready to snap at any moment. He could no longer distinguish what was being said in class. Everything had turned into a vague, annoying buzz, like a constant whistling in his ears. Why did he have to waste his time sitting there if he wasn't even listening to the lesson ? Everything felt pointless. He would have preferred to be at home, studying at his own pace and in his own way.
In his room... That was where he wanted to be, more than anything. This desire consumed him, as if thousands of ants were gnawing at his body, piece by piece, carrying away every tiny part of him. Given his size, those ants would never have finished. Was he doomed to this cruel fate? Should he just let himself be devoured, slowly, until he disappeared ?
"I'm dying of cold, I'm shaking. Yet, I have my jacket on, and no windows are open. They say the body temperature is 37°C, but I can't even feel it. It's like my whole body is frozen. Why is it so cold? Why do I feel so cold… why ?"
"It hurts, it hurts so much… I'm scared, so scared."
A tear slowly fell from his right eye. It was warm, perhaps trying to offer him some comfort. But Tora wiped it away with a sharp motion, crushing the courage it had shown to attempt to console him.
No matter how bad we feel, even when everything seems to be crumbling and we believe tomorrow is out of reach, time won't care. It will keep flowing, indifferent to our struggles. And so it passed, stretching painfully slow, as if it were savoring Tora's suffering.