Fragment 6 : collateral damage
— Oh, now I understand… HAHAHAHA!
She burst into a hysterical, sinister laugh, unable to stop.
Stacy, frightened and shocked, couldn't understand this reaction.
— What's wrong with you ?
— What, you don't get it ?
She waved the letter in front of her face, a terrifying grin distorting her features.
— We're the ones who killed her ! She died because of us !! We're murderers. It's all our fault !
— No, that's not true !
— What ? Are you daring to question Emilie's final words ?
— No ! It's just that she had too many problems piling up at once. She wasn't thinking clearly and was probably depressed. I knew her well, she was very emotional, and when she was sad, she let herself be completely consumed. We shouldn't jump to conclusions.
— Lies ! You just don't want to admit that it's your fault. You're nothing but a coward !
— We all bear some responsibility, that's true. I should have been there. I should have insisted on staying. But it's too late now… (She burst into tears). There's nothing we can do to change it. There's no point in looking for someone to blame !
— You don't understand, Stacy. You're completely missing the point. She had no reason to leave behind a message like this. It's filled with hatred, pain, and blame. She wanted us to feel the weight of our actions, to be haunted, devoured by every choice we made. She wanted us to carry her suffering, her despair, her sorrow, so that we could all suffer together one last time. That's the very essence of this farewell letter.
Stacy was struck with horror as she realized that Maddy might be right. This letter wasn't meant to bring them comfort or offer a simple explanation. No, it was an act of vengeance, meant to punish them for abandoning her.
Yet, as she thought it over, something strange nagged at her. Something that completely contradicted this theory. But what, exactly ? What was this feeling creeping over her, this inexplicable sense of doubt ? Something… something…
Stacy abruptly snatched the letter from Maddy's hands and read it as fast as she could.
— So, do you understand now ? We have no right to be happy, but we have no right to die either. We must suffer as much as she did, and only then will we be able to hope to join her.
— No, you're completely wrong !
— What ?!
— Look at the very last sentence !
"I love you, Emilie."
— She wouldn't curse someone and then end with those words ! She wasn't angry at us, and she didn't hold a grudge. What she wanted was for us to truly understand her. She laid herself bare, expressing everything she held in her heart, even if it meant hurting us. In reality, she was afraid we would drift apart as we grew older. She had already foreseen that, in the future, she would feel the same emptiness she did at that moment. And she concluded that she wouldn't be able to endure such a life.
— That's way too far-fetched ! You're just interpreting things !
— Listen to me !
— You can't understand how she felt, you didn't love her like I did ! I'm the only one who can truly understand her !
— I beg you, you're all I have left !!
As she spoke, she made incomprehensible sounds, yet she was trying with all her might to convey her feelings.
— No, no, no, no ! Argh !!
She screamed in pain, clutching her head in her hands.
"What's happening to her ?"
A small box fell out of Maddy's pocket, and Stacy bent down to pick it up. It was medication. The lid read: "Teralithe 250 mg LP." A small label from the pharmacy was stuck on top, handwritten: "Three tablets per day, morning/noon/night."
"But those are the same pills my mom takes. They're for bipolar disorder. Were these the meds prescribed to her as part of her medical follow-up in prison ? No way… Maddy has to take three a day ?! Is her condition really that severe ? Since when has she been bipolar ? How did I not notice ? Did it start after her parents abandoned her ? That must have been even more traumatic for her than I ever imagined… Is that why she never left her house after her fight with Emilie ? Is that why she went on a rampage in class that day ? Is it…"
Maddy suddenly started scratching her arms frantically, deep enough to draw blood.
"No !"
Stacy grabbed her wrists to stop her, but Maddy kicked her in the stomach, tears streaming down her face.
— We have to suffer, Stacy. Otherwise, she won't be able to rest in peace.
— Please, listen to me ! You need to take your medication. Right now, you're having a depressive episode. You need help, just like Emilie did. I won't make the same mistake twice. I won't abandon you, do you hear me ? I'll help you, I'll always be there. Because we're sisters, remember ? From now on, we'll always be together.
— Is that what you told Emilie before you left for England without a second thought ?
— Please… I'm begging you.
Due to her post-traumatic stress disorder caused by Emilie's suicide, Maddy experienced overwhelming guilt. As a result, during her depressive episodes, she self-harmed, making sure never to inflict wounds too severe to risk death. She had to suffer as much as possible. That was what a voice kept whispering in her ear.
She had stopped taking her medication and sank into increasingly severe depressive episodes. During her manic phases, she exhibited uncontrollable impulsivity, constant restlessness, and, most often, violent outbursts toward Stacy. She was incapable of fully grasping the impact of her actions. Whether in her "sad" or "joyous" state, she was insane either way.
After high school, they both enrolled at Pluton University. Stacy had kept her promise and stayed by Maddy's side, ensuring she took her medication. But sometimes, she failed… and ended up getting attacked.
Stacy knew it wasn't Maddy's fault, but with every blow she endured, a new trauma took root within her. Little by little, fear settled in. Every time she met Maddy's gaze, a cold shiver ran down her spine, dreading the next episode.
Moreover, at Pluton University, things had changed drastically. Maddy quickly became popular, and her new "friends" took pleasure in severely bullying Stacy, preventing her from approaching Maddy or giving her the prescribed treatment. Horror after horror, Stacy completely lost her mind. One day, she vanished, six months before the end of the school year. No one ever saw her again.
Until…