Nathan had never been the outgoing type. Throughout his high school years, he'd preferred the quiet corner of the cafeteria with his nose buried in a book, rather than socializing with the crowds. It was easier that way—no expectations, no questions, just the comfort of the pages in his hands.
On the first day of their freshman year, when most students were still figuring out their place in the world, Sarah had walked into his life.
He'd been sitting by the window, watching the sunlight filter through the trees outside, when she had dropped her tray onto the table with a loud clatter. Nathan had glanced up, startled, and found her sitting across from him with a bright smile on her face. She had two dimples that made her smile infectious, the kind that could melt even the most guarded hearts.
"You always read during lunch?" Sarah asked, popping a grape into her mouth.
Nathan was taken aback. Most people ignored him, or if they did notice, they never really cared to engage. But there she was, smiling like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I—uh—I just like books," Nathan muttered, unsure of what to say.
She had laughed then, a sound that was warm and welcoming. "I'm Sarah. And you are?"
"Nathan."
"Well, Nathan," she had said, "if you're going to be my new friend, we need to work on your social skills."
And just like that, Nathan's world had tilted. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with the attention—far from it. But something about Sarah's openness had left him both humbled and a little in awe. As the weeks turned into months, they had become inseparable. They studied together, laughed together, and spent countless hours discussing everything under the sun. It was easy, effortless, and in many ways, it was exactly what Nathan had always wanted. But there was one thing he could never bring himself to say.
He loved her.
But those words never came out. Instead, he buried them deep, pushed them away like a secret he couldn't bear to reveal. For Sarah, he was just Nathan—the quiet friend, the one she could count on, but never the one she'd look at with the kind of longing he felt every time he caught a glimpse of her eyes.
It wasn't until the last year of high school that things started to change. At first, Nathan didn't think much of it. Lewis—his older brother—had always been the confident one, the one who could walk into any room and command attention. But when Lewis started spending more time with Sarah, Nathan felt a knot tighten in his chest.
They were perfect for each other, it seemed. Lewis was everything Nathan wasn't—bold, outgoing, and never afraid to speak his mind. He had an easy charm that Sarah couldn't resist. Nathan could see it in the way she laughed at his jokes, the way her eyes softened when he spoke.
And it tore Nathan apart.
"You alright?" Sarah's voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him out of his spiraling mind. She was sitting next to him, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. Her smile was just as bright as it had been that first day. "You've been quiet all day."
Nathan blinked, trying to steady his racing heart. He couldn't tell her the truth, couldn't explain the pain gnawing at him every time she talked about Lewis. So instead, he smiled. A weak, forced smile, but a smile nonetheless.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, though his voice betrayed him. It was too shaky, too uncertain. But Sarah didn't seem to notice, or maybe she did, but chose not to press further. She was always like that—caring, but never prying.
"I was thinking of going to the carnival this weekend," she said, her voice bubbling with excitement. "What do you think? You, me, and Lewis? It'll be fun."
Nathan swallowed hard, trying to push down the surge of jealousy that bubbled up within him. "Sounds good," he replied, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
Sarah beamed. "Great! It's been forever since we've all hung out."
And just like that, Nathan's heart sank. It was always the three of them—Sarah, Lewis, and him—but more and more, it felt like there was no space for him in her life anymore. The way she looked at Lewis, the way they laughed together—it was as if he didn't exist in the same way. And Nathan was left standing in the shadows, watching as Sarah gave her heart to someone else.
But he couldn't leave. He couldn't walk away from her. He was too deeply tied to her, bound by years of friendship and unspoken love. He was too afraid of losing her completely.
Before he could say anything else, Lewis appeared, strolling up with his signature confidence. "Did I hear something about a carnival?" he asked, throwing an arm around Sarah's shoulders. He winked at Nathan, knowing exactly what kind of effect his presence had on his younger brother.
"Yeah," Sarah said, her smile widening. "We're going this weekend, the three of us."
Lewis grinned. "Sounds like a plan." He glanced over at Nathan, a smug glint in his eyes. "I'll win Sarah the biggest stuffed bear, just watch."
Nathan clenched his fists, his thoughts a jumbled mess. His older brother, so confident and at ease. He was everything Nathan wasn't. And Sarah? She didn't see him, not in the way he wanted. She saw only Lewis.
"Sure," Nathan mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. He wanted to scream, to tell her that he loved her, that he couldn't stand seeing her with Lewis. But the words wouldn't come.
Sarah looked between the two of them, oblivious to the storm that raged in Nathan's heart. "I'm looking forward to it," she said, then turned and walked off with Lewis, leaving Nathan standing there, his heart aching with a pain he didn't know how to fix.
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