DAMIR
There was so much blood.
I was shaking….my hands, my breath, my fucking soul. Eli's weight in my arms didn't feel right. He was limp. Not like sleep. Not like peace. This was too quiet. Too still. And the heat spilling from his throat soaked through my chest like it was trying to cling to me, trying to make me feel how fast I was losing him.
I kicked open the front door, nearly slipping as I bolted down the stairs.
"Открой дверь, блядь. ОТКРОЙ ДВЕРЬ!"
My driver saw the blood, and I watched him pale. I didn't wait. I threw the back door open myself and dropped into the seat, dragging Eli across my lap like he was made of glass.
"Drive. The hospital. NOW."
"Какую ближайшую? Это слишком далеко, Дамир, он…."
"Shut the fuck up and drive!"
I pressed my palm hard to Eli's neck, but the blood wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. My throat was dry. My mind was splitting into jagged pieces. His eyes were fluttering. He wasn't looking at me. He wasn't even trying to talk.
"Eli, don't close your eyes," I whispered, voice cracking like glass underfoot. "Don't you fucking dare."
" В больницу везёшь?"
"No time for ambulances," I snapped. "Move faster!"
The driver sped through the streets like he understood I'd kill him if he didn't. Every time we hit a bump, Eli's head rolled a little, and I cursed through my teeth.
My other hand fumbled for my phone, clumsy fingers smearing blood over the screen.
"Алена! АЛЕНА!"
"Дамир? Господи, что…."
"Я везу мальчика! Он ранен! Готовь всё! Открытая рана, много крови. Я буду через двадцать минут, максимум!"
"Я скажу им! Я уже на связи с отделением!"
The call dropped. I let it. My hands were full of the most important thing in my world. I looked down at his face. His lips were parted, skin too pale for his warmth, and blood had trickled down the side of his neck, soaking the collar of that soft shirt he loved so much.
"You idiot," I whispered hoarsely. "You little idiot. Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you call?" I sobbed "arghh!! you did".
He made a soft sound in the back of his throat. Barely audible. I leaned closer, desperate.
"Eli?"
His eyes didn't open. But his fingers twitched. That was enough to make my vision blur.
"Дамир… медики уже наготове. Они встретят вас прямо у входа."
"Good."
The car swerved to a violent stop at the emergency entrance. I didn't wait for the door to open. I flung it out, lifted Eli into my arms again, and ran.
"MOVE!" I roared at the hospital staff outside the entrance. "He's bleeding out!"
"Мы должны его внутрь! Срочно! Несите носилки!"
"Это Дамир Волков! У НЕГО РАНЕНЫЙ ПОДРОСТОК!"
The stretcher rolled out, but I wouldn't let him go. Not until they forced me. His hand twitched in mine again. That soft little tremble made something crack inside my ribs.
"Господин Волков, вам нужно отдать его. Мы проверим жизненные показатели."
"Я НЕ ОТПУЩУ ЕГО, ПОКА НЕ УВИЖУ ВАШУ ЧЁРТОВУ РАБОТУ!"
The nurse flinched, but took him with professional hands. They laid him out gently, speaking fast and sharp.
"Дыхание нестабильное."
"Пульс слабый."
"Кровь всё ещё идёт. Нужно немедленно стабилизировать."
"DO IT!" I snarled. "DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!"
I followed the stretcher down the hallway. Blood streaked the white floor like a trail of pain. My boots were sticking to it. My lungs couldn't pull in air. I didn't care who I shoved out of the way. I didn't care who stared at me like I was some savage. I was.
I was the devil who failed to protect his angel.
"Ему нужна операция. Готовьте ближайшую операционную. Вызывайте хирурга!"
I stopped at the edge of the operating doors. They barred me from going in. I slammed a hand against the cold wall.
"Это Дамир Волков. Я беру на себя полную ответственность. Запишите это. Вся оплата ….на мой счёт."
"Поняла. Мы будем держать вас в курсе."
I couldn't speak anymore. I couldn't think. I leaned my bloody hands on my knees, staring at the door they took him through.
That door was closed now.
And I had never felt more helpless in my life.
Three hours later.
I hadn't sat down.
I didn't drink the water someone brought. Didn't blink. Didn't fucking move.
"Damir."
Alena's voice broke through my tunnel vision. She was in scrubs now, her hair tied back, a tablet in one hand and worry all over her face.
"Is he alive?"
"Он стабилен. Рану зашили. Он потерял много крови, но ты привёз его вовремя."
I exhaled so hard it felt like my lungs collapsed. My knees buckled. I caught myself on the wall.
"Can I see him?"
"Он в отделении интенсивной терапии. Он спит. Но да, ты можешь зайти."
She led me through the halls like a ghost, her shoes squeaking softly beside my heavy boots. Everything felt too bright, too sterile, like the world was pretending none of this had happened.
The door opened with a quiet beep.
And there he was.
Eli.
Small. Pale. Hooked up to machines that beeped too quietly for how loud his absence had been. His hair was still messy. His lashes fluttered in his sleep. But there was color on his lips again. Bandages wrapped his neck.
I stepped in slowly.
My throat closed up.
I pulled the chair close and sat down beside the bed. Stared at him. Let my fingers hover over his wrist, feeling the faint pulse. Proof.
"You're such a pain in my ass," I whispered, voice low and gritty. "You make me want to burn the fucking world down."
He didn't stir. But I leaned forward anyway and brushed a strand of hair back from his face.
"Список людей, которых я убью за тебя, стал слишком длинным."
I rested my elbows on the bed, buried my face in my hands, and let silence swallow the room.
But now it wasn't terrifying anymore.
Because he was breathing.
And I would kill for that breath, again and again, if I had to…