"I survived a god-accident, a cursed forest, a fox girl, and a 900-year-old shoe ninja," Haruto muttered as he trudged up the slanted path behind Kohana.
"And this is how they reward me."
Before him stood his new home.
Or, more accurately: a leaning, creaking, single-room disaster hut, located at the farthest, most cursed-flavored edge of the beastfolk village. It had a mossy roof, a door that hung from one hinge like it was ashamed of its life, and a window that had most certainly been broken in a slapstick chase scene long before he arrived.
Above the door hung a charming wooden sign:"Temporary Storage. Do Not Feed."
Haruto stared.
"...Am I a raccoon?"
Kohana snorted behind him.
"Hey, don't complain. Some people start with a dirt hole and a prayer circle."
"I would've preferred a dirt hole. At least it wouldn't creak when I breathe near it!"
Kohana leaned against a tree, arms crossed, tail flicking with casual amusement.
"So. Demon Lord, huh?"
Haruto winced. "Oh great. Here it comes."
"You didn't think to tell me that before you let the whole village believe I'd become your mystical fox bride via shiny space rock?"
"I didn't even know I was proposing!! I thought I was saying thank you!!"
Kohana's eyes narrowed just slightly—more playful than angry.
"Still. You let me fight off cursed squirrels for a guy who forgot to mention he's technically the reincarnated king of all evil. That's kind of a red flag, Haruto."
"I'm not reincarnated! I'm just... outsourced!"
Kohana laughed. "Outsourced Maou. That's gonna be your title now. I'm telling everyone."
"Please don't."
"Too late."
She tilted her head and looked at him—actually looked, this time. Something about her smile softened for just a moment.
"…Still, though. You survived Grandma. That's impressive. And suicidal."
"Thanks. I think."
She stepped toward the shack, pushed the door, and it immediately fell off.
Haruto stared at it.
Kohana grinned. "Well, Lord Maou. Welcome to your temporary royal estate."
He sighed and looked inside.
No bed. No furniture. A floorboard that meowed when he stepped on it.
Truly, the perks of demonic leadership.
"I'll let you settle in," Kohana said, already stepping away from the cursed shack of depression. "Try not to get eaten by mold, yeah?"
Haruto leaned on the doorframe that was no longer attached to the shack.
"I'll be fine," he muttered.
"Famous last words~!"
And then she vanished into the village, tail bouncing behind her.
Haruto stepped into his shack with all the confidence of a man entering a cursed dungeon without saving. He looked around. Dust motes danced in the air. The floor whined. The corner emitted a low growl, but he chose to ignore that.
He sat down in the middle of the room and sighed.
"...Peace at last."
The candle on the wall flickered.
Then blew out.
He blinked.
"…Okay."
A chill filled the room.
His breath turned visible.
From the shadows, a small figure stepped forward.
Tiny. Pale. Glowing red eyes.
Silver hair down to her knees.
Wearing an old-fashioned black dress that screamed 'Victorian Doll That Screams At Night.'
Haruto stared.
The little girl stared back.
Then opened her mouth wide, hissed like a cat, and THREW A BOOK AT HIM.
"GET OUT OF MY DOMAIN, WEAK FLESH CREATURE!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH—WHY IS THERE A GHOST CHILD IN MY HOUSE?!"
The girl floated at him like a horror movie, summoning dark mist, throwing old bento wrappers and cursed utensils with telekinetic fury.
Haruto picked up a broken broom and tried to bat her away.
"BACK! I HAVE NO EXORCISM SKILLS BUT I'M REALLY ANGRY!!"
She lunged at him, fangs bared.
He panicked.
Tripped.
They both fell.
And in the chaos—
CHOMP.
Haruto accidentally bit her arm.
They both froze.
A swirl of purple light engulfed them.
[Spiritual Contract Formed]
Bound Familiar: "Yue" – Rank: ??? – Mood: Violated
"...I didn't mean to do that," Haruto muttered.
"You bit me?!" the ghost-loli screeched, cheeks red. "WHO BITES A GHOST?!"
Just then—
SLAM.
The broken door got kicked in by Alpha Wolf Grandma carrying a futon over one shoulder like a weapon, with Kohana balancing a tea set.
And there before them:
Haruto, straddling a silver-haired gothic ghost child, holding her wrist in his mouth like a deranged vampire.
Kohana blinked.
Alpha Wolf Grandma narrowed her eyes.
"…Should we come back later?" Kohana asked flatly.
Yue sat rigid on the dusty floor, her little ghost fists clenched, cheeks puffed, and red eyes vibrating with rage.
Haruto, equally stunned, was sitting opposite her, still holding onto the broom like it was Excalibur.
They both looked at the glowing, cursed contract circle between them—the faint glyphs still pulsing with purple, traitorous light.
"…There has to be a mistake," Yue muttered.
"Oh thank the gods," Haruto sighed. "Yes. Good. Mistake. Let's cancel this. Reboot it. Burn it."
"I wasn't talking about me, idiot!" Yue snapped. "I meant you! You are the mistake!"
Haruto flinched. "Wow. Okay. That's uncalled for."
Yue stood up and pointed an accusatory, shaking finger.
"How?! HOW does someone like you—mana count: zero, charisma: negative, bone density: debatable—manage to form a binding contract with me?!"
Haruto threw up his hands. "I panicked and bit you! I didn't think it would count as a pact ritual!"
"You're not supposed to use your teeth!!"
Just then, Alpha Wolf Grandma stepped forward, arms folded, expression carved from stone.
"The Maou bit a cursed spirit and tamed it through sheer confusion," she said flatly. "We've reached a new historical low."
Haruto waved frantically. "I didn't tame anything! She attacked me with ghost chopsticks!"
Kohana stood beside grandma, trying very hard not to laugh.
"Is this gonna be a thing with you?" she asked. "Like, every time you meet a girl, you either faint, bite them, or accidentally propose?"
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO BITE ANYONE!" Haruto snapped.
Yue's aura flared up.
"WAIT A MINUTE—did she just say Maou?!"
The ghost-loli froze mid-float, staring at Haruto as if she'd just noticed he was covered in radioactive pudding.
"…You're the new Demon Lord?! This? This pile of human leftover soup??"
"Stop insulting me with words that aren't even real insults!!"
She circled him, squinting. "This can't be. You're just... soft."
"I'm emotionally durable!"
"You tripped over your own sleeve!"
"It was a cursed floorboard!!"
Grandma cleared her throat like thunder in a teacup.
"Young… spirit. As one of village elders, I must ask: will you honor the contract?"
Yue spun around. "I demand a review! A reset! A divine annulment!"
The magical circle glowed in response.
[Contract Status: Sealed & Recognized by World Law.]
Mutual Bite-Level Pact Confirmed.
"WHO DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM?!" Yue shrieked.
Haruto laid back and stared at the ceiling. "I'm going to have an army of magical women, and none of them will respect me."
"Correct," Yue snapped.
Kohana leaned against the wall, sipping tea. "At least she's honest."