Somewhere in mid-air, spinning like a windmill of poor life decisions, Haruto was having a moment.
His arms flailed uselessly. His hoodie flapped in the wind like a desperate flag of surrender. His eyes were half-lidded, already emotionally checked out.
"…I should've stayed in Japan," he muttered to himself as the sky spun above him."Or at least taken the rock option. Yeah. Be a rock. No drama. No ghost lolis. No monkeys."
He rotated again.
"Why is this world allergic to normality?! Why do fox girls kick like rocket launchers?! Why are trees alive and charging rent?!"
A particularly aggressive updraft spun him mid-sentence.
"I HATE THIS RPG PATCH!!!"
But before he could finish his spiral into full nihilism—
THWACK.
Tree branches.
Again.
A blessed miracle. Or cursed habit.
Either way, they grabbed him like nature's version of a slapstick trampoline, slapping his back, knees, and dignity in rapid succession.
WHIP. WHIP. WHIP-WHIP-WHIP.
Haruto's descent slowed just enough that when he finally hit the ground—
SPLAT.
He landed face-first into a bed of dirt, moss, and emotional exhaustion.
He didn't move for a solid minute.
"…I'm going to start identifying as a root vegetable," he mumbled into the soil.
His fingers twitched.
His soul whimpered.
Finally, he lifted his head.
And blinked.
Before him was a beautiful, glowing green field, bathed in sunlight that filtered through broken canopy. Ancient runestones lined the edge. Flowers sparkled unnaturally. Soft magical wind swirled with glitter particles because of course it did.
It looked like every JRPG protagonist's "tutorial zone of destiny."
Like the exact place where a chosen hero would pick up a legendary sword, get a spirit blessing, and begin their world-saving quest.
Haruto stared at it, face still half-covered in mud.
"…You know," he said dryly, "if I wasn't the actual Demon Lord, this would be a beautiful place to begin my journey."
He dragged himself upright like a defeated NPC.
"But noooooo. I don't GET to start here. I'm already the final boss. I've skipped the hero's glow-up arc and landed straight in the disappointment DLC."
He looked around dramatically.
"WHERE'S MY CURSED CASTLE?! WHERE'S MY GRIM ARMY?! WHY DOES THE GRASS SMELL NICE?!"
The field, as expected, did not reply.
Haruto sighed, dusted off his pants, and trudged forward.
"…God, I hope the monkeys didn't follow me here too."
The wind carried a faint shimmer of particles that glittered like a fake Instagram filter. Everything sparkled. Even the grass sparkled. It was deeply offensive.
"This place is way too peaceful," he muttered, swatting a glowing butterfly out of his face. "If I step on a flower and it gives me a friendship quest, I'm going back to being a NEET."
But as he walked further into the field, something shifted.
A sound.
Soft. Very gentle. And sooooo Familiar.
It drifted through the air like a whisper caught on the breeze.
A melody.
Haruto froze.
"...Wait."
His ears twitched.
He knew that song.
It wasn't from this world. Not from the magical forests, or cursed monkey concerts, or ancient Maou ruins.
It was…
"…That's our song," he whispered.
"Our" as in his idol duo's debut single. The one he wrote. The one they performed live before everything went to hell. The one that never even charted before he got booted from the industry.
"What the hell—how does anyone here know that?!"
He broke into a run, following the sound toward the edge of the field. The glitter faded. The trees thinned. And there—bathed in green light at the foot of a broken stone archway—
Was a girl.
Her back was to him, seated on the edge of a collapsed ruin entrance. She was humming softly, legs swinging, sunlight catching in her long dark hair that shimmered in the wind.
Shimmering, pure Black, more like night itself.
Her outfit looked foreign. Too modern. Too... Earth-like.
Haruto slowed his steps.
The girl stopped humming.
She turned her head slightly—just enough for Haruto to glimpse one sharp violet eye.
"You're late," she said calmly.
Haruto blinked.
"I'm… what?"
She stood, brushing off her skirt with elegance that didn't match the ruin setting.
"I've been waiting for you, Demon Lord."
Haruto's mouth opened.
Closed.
Then:"…Do I know you?"
The girl tilted her head.
"Not yet. But you will."
She turned toward the ruin entrance, stepping slowly into the shadows.
"Come along, Haruto Kisaragi. You don't want to miss what comes next."
Haruto stood frozen in the field, brain loading.
"...Nope. Nope. That's not ominous at all."
He looked up.
Then back at the ancient ruins.
Then sighed.
And followed.
Haruto stumbled through the winding stone passage, deeper into the glowing ruin. The faint hum of ancient magic buzzed through the cracked walls. Ahead, the girl with raven-black hair walked effortlessly, her steps light and sure, the shadows parting as she moved.
Haruto jogged behind, trying to keep up—and trying even harder to process anything.
Too many questions swirled in his head:
How did she know his name?How was she humming his idol song—one that barely even got played back in Japan?And most of all… what was up with that outfit?
She wore a flowing modern dress—elegant, stylish, and far too clean for an ancient ruin. It exposed her shoulders, draped perfectly around her slender figure, and shimmered faintly like enchanted cloth. But then—
Military boots.
Big, black, steel-toed tactical boots.
Haruto's brain hiccuped.
"…What kind of RPG fashion fusion is this?"
Suddenly, the girl turned her head, violet eyes gleaming in the gloom.
"Are you scared, Haruto-sama?" she asked softly, like she already knew the answer.
He flinched slightly at the sudden title.
"N-No!" he said quickly, waving his hands defensively. "Not scared! Just… deeply confused. Like everything in this world. Honestly, I'm getting used to it."
He scratched his head awkwardly. "But seriously, how do you know my name? I'm pretty sure I didn't introduce myself."
The girl stopped walking.
A beat of silence.
"…Correct," she said at last. "You haven't."
She turned slowly, her expression unreadable.
"Therefore," she declared, "I shall now introduce myself!"
"…'Shall'? Who even talks like—"
Haruto didn't get to finish that thought.
Because a gust of wind erupted, swirling her hair and dress like a magical stage reveal. Shadows spun around her feet as she raised one hand into the air, a surge of arcane light swirling around her.
"I am Noelle Ragna!" she announced, voice echoing dramatically."Dark Magician, hybrid of demon and human! Hopeful candidate for General of the Demon Army! And sworn follower of our glorious Maou—Haruto-sama!"
The wind stopped.
A silence fell.
And in her hands, from pure shadow and stardust, a massive black-and-violet grimoire materialized with a sharp magical flash.
Haruto stared at her.
Then down at the book.
Then back up.
"…Army?" he said blankly.
Noelle smiled brightly. "Naturally! I've been waiting three years for your arrival!"
"…Three years?!"
"Yes," she said sweetly. "Give or take one or two time paradoxes."
Haruto's face twitched. Deep inside—right under the layers of sarcasm, trauma, and internal screaming—he felt a familiar sensation.
That instinct.
That danger radar that had been honed over the past 72 hours.
It went off like a klaxon.
This girl.Beautiful? Yes.Powerful? Definitely.Helpful? Possibly.Normal? Absolutely not.
He took a deep breath.
"…Of course she's not."
An awkward silence fell between them.
Not dramatic.
Not tense.
Just… confused.
Haruto looked at Noelle.
She looked at him.
He looked up at the ceiling.
Then back at her.
Back up.
And then back at her again, expression slowly sliding from neutral confusion to "am I being pranked by the universe again" face.
Noelle blinked rapidly, her cheeks suddenly turning bright red.
"P-Please, Haruto-sama," she said, voice flustered. "C-Can you not stare at me like that? It's… it's embarrassing…"
Haruto tilted his head. "Huh?"
He had literally just been trying to decipher her entire existence, but apparently, his passive analysis mode triggered emotional detonation.
Noelle looked like her whole internal OS had just blue-screened from eye contact.
"I-It's not proper to look at a lady like that with such intensity, especially when she's not ready for emotional counterfire—!"
Haruto blinked.
"…You're weird."
"I KNOW," she blurted out, covering her face with the grimoire.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I guess you're in for a big disappointment, then."
She peeked at him through her fingers.
"I'm not actually much of a Demon Lord. No army. No powers. Not even a brooding villain laugh. I literally have zero going for me except the title, and even that I got by accident."
Noelle didn't say anything.
Her expression dropped just slightly. Still smiling, but quieter. Like hearing that broke some illusion she'd been holding onto.
Haruto cleared his throat. "Anyway... Is this place the old Demon Lord's castle ruins?"
Noelle shook her head.
"No, Haruto-sama. According to the grimoire, this is the portal site where you were supposed to appear. But…"She glanced sideways. "Apparently you fell from the sky instead."
Haruto's eye twitched.
"…Right. The sidewalk. The ramen. The godchild intern."
He rubbed his temples. "My life is a gacha roll and I landed on 'Chaos Route.'"
"Are we far from the old lands?" he asked, trying to refocus.
"Not too far," Noelle said, her voice a little lower than before. "It's about five days on foot."
"FIVE?!" Haruto's face twisted in agony. "We're not even close?!"
"I… brought snacks?"
Haruto slumped against a rock.
Then looked at her again.
"Listen, Noelle… You don't have to follow me, you know. I mean, I hate to be the bearer of anticlimactic news, but you're totally free to live your life. This isn't a cult."
Noelle blinked.
Then stared at him.
Then—
PANIC.
"Y-You can't just fire me, Haruto-sama!!" she shouted, eyes wide.
"I didn't hire you either?!"
Her hands flailed in despair. "D-Don't say it like that! I came here to serve you! I've trained for this! This is my whole purpose—!"
Haruto sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Look. Fine. If you really want to come along, I'm not stopping you. Just… don't expect some epic journey. I'm literally winging it. Every day."
Noelle paused.
Her breath caught.
Then slowly, her expression shifted—fear melting into soft hope.
"…So you're saying I can still stay?"
"I'm saying: welcome to the disaster party. We leave at dawn."
Noelle's eyes sparkled like she'd just been handed a magical girl contract.
She wiped her tear streaks and smiled brightly.
"Yes, my lord!"
Haruto groaned and muttered to himself, "Why does every girl I meet in this world come with emotional damage and sparkles?"