The orphanage smelled like sour bleach and overcooked soup.
A place of forgotten children and overstretched budgets. Nothing unusual. He'd been in worse—one in Mozambique where the "orphans" had Kalashnikovs taller than they were. This one, at least, had chairs and coloring books.
Still, he walked in like he was casing a terrorist compound. Eyes scanning exits. Assessing adults for concealed weapons. Reading body language. One kid tried to pickpocket him on the way in—good hands, but sloppy footwork. He let it go. Pickpockets were a symptom, not a threat.
The woman at the front desk—an aging caregiver with stress bags under her eyes—looked up as he stepped in.
"May I help you?"
Loid's voice came out smooth, professional. "Yes, I'm looking to adopt. Preferably a child suited for early academic enrollment. Independent. Quiet. No behavior issues."
[Side Objective: "Find The Ideal Child for Operation Strix." Bonus Criteria: No lice.]
He felt the System's smug tone like a pulse in the back of his skull.
"...Preferably lice-free," he added, flatly.
The woman raised a brow but didn't comment. "We have several options. I'll get the files."
As she stepped into the back, he moved toward the playroom. Chaos in miniature. Blocks scattered. Kids screaming. One was licking a chair leg for no apparent reason.
And in the corner—quiet, alone, pretending to read a book upside-down—was her.
Tiny. Pink-haired. Serious eyes watching the room like a soldier behind enemy lines.
Anya.
He knew before the System confirmed it.
[Target Identified: Subject Anya. Telepath. Age: Unknown. IQ: Variable. Emotional Stability: Highly Motivated by Spy Cartoons and Peanuts.]
She looked up.
Their eyes met.
Anya's pupils shrank slightly. She flinched.
Can't read him… can't hear anything…
Her face contorted into immediate interest. Fake interest. A five-year-old trying to look like she totally wasn't spying. He almost admired the boldness.
Anya scrambled off the beanbag and walked over, small arms behind her back.
"You here to adopt?"
He nodded, neutral.
"You look... scawy," she said bluntly. "But not the worst scawy. Like... 'action hero' scawy."
He blinked.
[Side Mission: Impress Anya with Tactical Coolness. Reward: Increased Bond Level + Spy Points x20.]
He knelt slightly to her level. "I need a smart kid. One who can keep secrets. Can you do that?"
Anya's eyes sparkled. She tried not to bounce in place.
"I am... very smart," she declared, with the same energy a raccoon has when lying about stealing bread. "I can do numbers. Sometimes. And I read minds. I mean—I like beans!"
He stared at her.
She froze.
"...I didn't mean minds," she added. "I said beans."
He almost smirked.
A liar, a weirdo, and maybe the worst spy-child imaginable.
She was perfect.
"I'll take her," he said.
The woman at the desk had returned, files in hand. She blinked, surprised. "You haven't even—"
"She's the one."
Anya gasped so loudly she inhaled a Cheerio off the floor.
Thirty minutes later, he walked down the orphanage steps with Anya clinging to his gloved hand and humming the Bondman theme under her breath.
[Achievement Unlocked: "Father Figure." Reward: Basic Cooking Skill Pack + Mission Unlock – Operation: School Uniform.]
"Where are we going now?" she chirped.
"Home," he said. "But first—clothing."
"Do I get a spy outfit?!"
"...School uniform."
"Spy school uniform?"
He gave her a look.
She beamed.
He sighed. This was already spiraling.
[WARNING: Upcoming Hostile Event Predicted. Threat Level: Low. Proximity: Immediate.]
He paused, tensing slightly.
"Anya," he said calmly. "Do you know how to scream very loudly?"
She blinked. "Yes?"
"Good. If I say duck, duck. If I say run, run."
Anya's face lit up like Christmas.
"WE'RE GONNA DO A CHASE SCENE?!"
A van screeched around the corner ahead, side door already opening. Two men inside. Armed, but stupid. He could tell from the way one leaned out too far.
Kidnappers? WISE test? Or someone after Anya's secret?
Didn't matter.
He grabbed her and shoved her behind a bench.
"Duck."
"YAY—oh wait no actually that's scary—"
The first man jumped out with a shock baton. Predictable.
Loid—whoever he was now—moved like water.
One step forward. Elbow to the temple. Pivot. Baton snatched. Tossed like a javelin—struck the driver mid-climb from the van.
They went down like bowling pins.
Silence.
Anya peeked over the bench, eyes huge.
"That... was... the coolest thing I've ever seen," she whispered.
[Bond Increase: Anya +1]
[New Side Quest Unlocked: "Survive Family Life Without Attracting a Kill Squad." Ongoing.]
He pulled out a burner phone from Loid's coat pocket and called WISE's emergency line.
"Target intercepted. Possible surveillance breach. Sending location for cleanup. Proceeding with Phase Two."
"Affirmative," the voice crackled. "And the child?"
He glanced at Anya. She was trying to mimic his "serious face" in a store window reflection.
"She's... adapting," he said quietly.