Eden Academy.
The institution's name alone sounded like something designed to mock unworthy applicants. Elite, aloof, and riddled with more surveillance than a military base. Getting in wasn't just a challenge—it was a full-on op.
He'd planned assassinations with less prep.
And now, he stood outside its wrought-iron gates, dressed in his best suit, coat pressed, hair perfect, smile weaponized. Yor stood beside him, resplendent in a modest blue dress, nervously gripping her clutch bag like it might turn into a sword if she panicked hard enough.
Between them, Anya fidgeted in a child-sized version of a royal academy uniform, complete with an itchy bowtie and a look of impending doom.
[Main Mission Objective: Pass Eden Academy Family Interview.]
[Threat Level: Psychological Warfare.]
[Bonus Objective: Do Not Start a Political Incident. Again.]
The gates opened.
They stepped into a world where even the grass seemed judgmental.
Everything was precise. Flowers geometrically trimmed. Pathways mathematically aligned. The other families all looked like they'd been manufactured in a parenting lab.
Anya whispered, "I don't like this. Everyone's thinking really loud and mean."
He gave her hand a small, almost imperceptible squeeze.
"We won't be here long," he said quietly. "Just play along. Smile when Yor smiles. Don't tell anyone about the knife training."
Anya's grin was terrifying. "Can I tell them about the time she stabbed an apple in half?"
"No."
"Awww."
The first examiner was a walking fossil with a monocle and a haircut that hadn't been legal since the monarchy fell. He looked them over like they were mold on his crumpets.
"State your names and family values."
Yor nearly bowed. Anya tripped on her shoelaces. Loid smiled.
"I'm Loid Forger. This is my wife, Yor, and our daughter, Anya. Our family values are honesty, discipline, and unity."
[Deception Roll: Success.]
[Charm +2. System Notes: You almost sounded sincere. Impressive.]
The examiner's eyebrow twitched.
"Very well. You will be guided to the formal interview chamber. Please be prepared for questions of moral and intellectual rigor."
"Of course," Loid replied smoothly.
As they walked, Yor leaned toward him. "What's a moral rigor?"
"Something I fake daily."
The Interview Room.
A trap disguised as a parlor. Three judges behind an ornate desk. Doilies everywhere. The scent of interrogation and lemon tea.
Loid had memorized their files. One traditionalist. One hardliner. One wildcard.
He liked wildcards. They were predictable in their unpredictability.
The first few questions were easy.
"What do you enjoy doing together as a family?"
"Cooking," Yor said.
"Reading," Loid added.
"Escaping!" Anya chirped.
They paused.
"I mean… playing... escape rooms," Anya corrected, sweating.
The judges scribbled notes.
[System Note: Critical Save. +1 Respect from Examiner #3 (Wildcard).]
Then came the pressure.
"What would you do if your child was being bullied?" asked the traditionalist.
Yor's grip on her handbag tightened.
"Talk to the teacher," Loid said calmly.
Yor nodded. "Yes. That. Definitely not… anything involving blunt force."
[Lie Detected. Hilarious.]
"And if your child fails an exam?" asked the hardliner.
"Support her studies," Loid said.
"Encourage improvement," Yor added.
Anya beamed. "They help me with flashcards and snacks and don't yell at me even when I draw spies during math time!"
Wildcard Judge raised an eyebrow.
"Draw spies?"
"Spy comics," Anya said quickly. "Papa helps me write storylines."
Loid smiled like that was the most wholesome thing in the world.
Then the question came.
The one that wasn't on any dossier.
Judge Wildcard looked over his glasses.
"Mr. Forger. What makes you think you deserve to be a father?"
The room froze.
Yor stiffened. Anya turned, confused.
Loid's smile held, but inside—
A flicker of a past life.
Blood on his hands. Screams in his ears. Every child he couldn't save. Every name he forgot. Every ghost he'd tried to leave behind.
[System Prompt: Emotional Truth Opportunity Detected.]
He exhaled.
"I don't know that I do," he said honestly. "But I try."
Silence.
"I try to keep her safe. To make her laugh. To give her a better life than I had. I'm not perfect. But she's the reason I wake up and try to be better."
Yor looked at him.
Really looked at him.
Something in her expression softened. Anya gripped his hand tighter.
Wildcard scribbled a final note.
"…Thank you, Mr. Forger."
The interview ended without incident.
No explosions. No dead bodies. No hidden snipers. It was, by their standards, a miracle.
Outside the gates, Anya jumped in place.
"Did we win?! Did we pass?!"
Loid adjusted his coat, expression unreadable.
"We'll find out soon."
[Mission Status: Pending Review.]
[Relationship Update: Yor Briar – Affection +2. Anya – Trust +3.]
[System Reward: Tactical Patience Upgrade. You are now 11% less terrible at waiting.]
Yor smiled softly. "That was... stressful."
"You didn't stab anyone," he said. "I'm proud of you."
"I almost did," she admitted, blushing.
Anya threw her arms around both of them.
"I think we are a real family now," she declared.
Loid didn't say anything.
But maybe… just maybe…
He was starting to think she was right.