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DxD: The Cultivator of Kuoh

ALazyCultivator
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Synopsis
Waking up in the chaotic, perverted, and devil-infested world of High School DxD wasn't on Akuma Nozomi's to-do list—especially not after dying in a world where life was already a joke. But when a mysterious voice offered him a second chance, with a system that let him simulate entire lifetimes as a cultivator in a parallel realm, he took the deal. Not out of hope. Out of spite. Armed with the Cultivator Life Simulation System—a sentient, sarcastic entity with a gift for annoying commentary—Akuma begins to tear through the supernatural hierarchy of Kuoh with logic, indifference, and a few well-placed spiritual techniques. A man of few words and fewer attachments, Akuma is the last person you'd expect to catch the eyes of devils, fallen angels, and priestesses alike. But power attracts attention, and Akuma’s quiet brand of brutal efficiency hides a dark charm. As his strength grows, so does the number of people who want to understand him—or kill him. Between system missions that feel like impossible games, ridiculous requests from busty devils, and existential conversations with sarcastic swords, Akuma must navigate a world of supernatural politics, ecchi nonsense, and romantic entanglements... all while trying not to lose the last fragments of his humanity. But in a world where feelings are a weakness and strength is everything, will Akuma remain the aloof cultivator from another world... or will the bonds he forms change him more than he ever intended? System: “Congratulations, Host. You've just reached Peak Tsundere Realm.” Akuma: “I will rip your code apart, byte by byte.” System: “~So shy.”
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Chapter 1 - Rebirth is a Scam

Darkness.

You'd think dying would be dramatic—flashing lights, your life replaying like a badly edited movie, maybe even a chorus of angels welcoming you to the afterlife.Not for me.

Just pain, the cold bite of metal through flesh, then… silence.

Until a voice shattered the void.

[Initializing Cultivator Life Simulation System...]

[Binding to new Host: Akuma Nozomi...]

[Warning: Host's mental stability is... questionable.]

Oh, great. Even in death, I can't escape customer support.

I opened my eyes to a sky that was a little too blue, the kind that felt photoshopped. A gentle breeze ruffled my hair, carrying the scent of blooming cherry blossoms. Idyllic. Peaceful. Suspicious as hell.

"...Where the hell am I?" I muttered.

[Welcome to Kuoh Town. Local density of supernatural nonsense: High.]

[Congratulations, Host. You've been reincarnated into the world of High School DxD.]

I sat up. "You're kidding."

[I do not kid. I mock, berate, and occasionally give emotional support. Kidding is beneath me.]

I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. My hand brushed against something cold. I glanced down.

A red gemstone hung from a necklace around my neck, pulsing faintly.

The system's voice practically purred.

[Ah, yes. Your Starter Gift™. The Heart of the Crimson Lotus. Enhances your cultivation speed and makes you look 12% more edgy. You're welcome.]

Ignoring that, I checked my reflection in the window of a nearby store.

Tall, pale skin, long black hair streaked with crimson. My red eyes glowed faintly, like some overpowered anime villain. I looked like the final boss in a dating sim.

"...This is going to be a pain."

[Correction: This will be a delightful pain. For me.]

[Cultivator Life Simulation System - Tutorial Mode]

Mission 1: Attend Kuoh Academy

Objective: Survive your first day without causing a scene.

Bonus Objective: Avoid becoming part of the Occult Research Club.

Reward: Beginner Cultivation Technique – Scarlet Bone Tempering Art

[Advice: Kuoh Academy is swarming with devils. Try not to provoke them. Or do. I'm not your dad.]

I arrived at the gates of Kuoh Academy, the prestigious school that—according to every wiki and unfortunate pervert in this universe—was the starting point of every harem-related headache.

The school looked normal. Too normal. Like the setting of a slice-of-life anime right before the tentacles show up.

"Blend in," I muttered. "No attention. No drama. Just survive."

That was the plan... until I walked into class and immediately locked eyes with her.

Rias Gremory.

The crimson-haired devil princess herself.

She smiled. "You must be the new transfer student. Akuma Nozomi, right?"

I nodded, already calculating my chances of escaping through the window.

"Welcome to Kuoh Academy," she said, her gaze lingering just a bit too long. "I hope we can... get to know each other."

[Alert: High probability of being dragged into supernatural politics. Suggest preparing emergency escape plan.]

I raised an eyebrow, voice dry. "I'm allergic to club activities. And red flags."

She laughed, amused. "We'll see about that."

Later that day…

[Ding! Cultivator Simulation Unlocked.]

[Would you like to begin your first simulated life? Warning: Time will accelerate. Physical and mental strain may occur. Void-related psychosis is a minor side effect.]

Lying on my bed, still processing the fact that my homeroom teacher was a fallen angel and my classmates had more magic than common sense, I sighed.

"…Screw it. Let's simulate."

[Initializing Cultivation Simulation: Life 1 – Wandering Rogue of the Nether Sect]

[Begin.]

And so, while my body rested in a world of devils, angels, and suspiciously friendly girls...My mind descended into a world of blood, betrayal, and brutal cultivation.