A line of blood trickled down Huoshi's face, starting from the back of his head and ending at his forehead like a bad DIY haircut. He'd blocked Qi Feng's attack with all his might, but little did he know, that was just Qi Feng's warm-up. The real attack was coming, and Huoshi was about as ready for it as a squirrel in a ninja dojo.
"This kid... he's not just a Genin," Huoshi thought, his vision blurring. "He's a monster in a kid's body!"
Huoshi was an elite Chunin, sure, but his specialty was hiding and sneaking around, not throwing hands with a mini-Jonin. And now, facing Qi Feng, who was basically a physical combat prodigy, Huoshi was about as useful as a rubber kunai.
"Iwagakure... I can't go back," Huoshi thought, his mind drifting to his hometown. He'd spent over a decade lurking in Konoha, and now, his ninja career was ending in the most embarrassing way possible: getting wrecked by a kid.
With one last wobbly step, Huoshi collapsed like a sack of potatoes. Thud.
Author's Note: And here we have Huoshi, folks. A ninja who thought he was the main character but quickly realized he was just a side quest. RIP, buddy.
Kifune looked down at his hands, confused. "Wait, that's it? I didn't even break a sweat!" He felt like he'd just won a fight by accident. To quote an old saying: "You fell down before I even started trying."
But Kifune wasn't celebrating. He was annoyed. "Why does this keep happening? All I want to do is touch a corpse in peace! Is that too much to ask?" He sighed, pulling out a scroll to stash Huoshi's body. "Now I've got another corpse to deal with. Great."
As he worked, Kifune kept glancing around. The ANBU were probably on their way, and he had no desire to explain why he was hoarding dead bodies like a ninja raccoon. He cleaned up the bloodstains and battle traces as fast as he could, then bolted.
Author's Note: Kifune, the guy who just wants to live his best life as a corpse collector but keeps getting interrupted by ninja drama. Can't a guy just touch a body in peace?
Meanwhile, at the Scene of the Crime...
Whoosh! Whoosh!
Several ANBU ninjas appeared, their masks making them look like a bunch of confused owls. One of them, the "perception guy," scanned the area and said, "Yep, the noise came from here. Someone died."
Another ANBU touched the bloodstain. "Still warm. Whoever did this was fast."
The third ANBU, who was apparently the earth-style expert, chimed in. "The Rock Hidden Technique was used here. The dead guy was at least a Chunin."
They all exchanged glances. "Whoever killed him must be a Jonin. But why didn't they stick around? And where's the body?"
One of them shrugged. "Collect the info and report it to the Hokage. Let him figure it out."
Author's Note: ANBU: the ninja world's version of CSI, but with more masks and less forensic science.
Hokage's Office: Sarutobi Hiruzen's Late-Night Mystery
Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, was enjoying a quiet smoke when the ANBU showed up with their report. He listened carefully, puffing on his pipe like a wise old dragon.
"An unknown ninja was killed by one of our Jonin, and the body's missing?" Hiruzen mused. "Interesting."
He leaned back in his chair, thinking. "A Chunin sneaking into Konoha? Must be a spy. But why would they risk exposure now? And what were they after?"
Hiruzen took another puff of his pipe. "Check all the suspects we're monitoring. Someone's playing games, and I want to know who."
The ANBU nodded and vanished, leaving Hiruzen to stare out the window at the peaceful village. "Konoha's come so far," he thought. "But war's on the horizon. I can feel it."
Then, almost as an afterthought, he muttered, "But seriously... where's the body?"
Author's Note: Hiruzen, the Hokage who's seen it all but still can't figure out where all the bodies keep disappearing to. Maybe he should hire Kifune as a consultant.
Back at Kifune's Morgue
Kifune was busy arranging Huoshi's body next to the other corpses. "Another one for the collection," he thought, sighing. "At this rate, I'm going to need a bigger morgue."
He glanced at the clock. The Miura Ichigo Experience Card's power was fading, and he was back to being a regular Genin. "Well, that was fun while it lasted," he muttered. "Now, if only I could figure out what's so special about these corpses..."
As he closed the morgue door, Kifune couldn't help but wonder: "What's next? A zombie uprising? A ninja detective asking too many questions? Or maybe... just maybe... I'll finally get to touch a corpse in peace."
Author's Note: Stay tuned, folks. The mystery deepens, the bodies pile up, and Kifune just wants a nap. Will he ever catch a break? Probably not. See you in the next chapter!
End of Chapter Teaser:
What's the deal with these corpses? Why is everyone so obsessed with them? And will Kifune ever get a break from all this ninja drama? Stay tuned for the next chapter, where the mystery deepens, and the bodies keep piling up! 🍜✨
To be continued...
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