'' It's not as bad as I thought it would be''
These were the first words that he had spoken out aloud, after floating around for a long time, in the darkness.
"Who would've thought that there is neither hell, nor heaven or nothing, but simple darkness?", he mused.
Looking around, he realized that he was the only light flying around in the darkness.
A simple ball of light, nothing special, considering he had seen a decent amount of the world and would neither be impressed by darkness nor simple light. Feeling barely anything.
"Hmm, am I supposed to go somewhere? Do I need to atone for my sins by walking for an eternity? Either way, let's just go into this direction."
And the blob of light just moved in one direction, knowing neither if it was even a direction or up or down, not even knowing if he was walking in a straight line.
He simply moved — not to arrive, but to pass time. To do something in a world where nothing else did anything.
"I was born too late to discover the new world, I'm too early for discovering different planets, solar systems and alien species and sadly too dumb to advance one field of science by a miniscule amount.
At the very least I can explore the afterlife, maybe here I can for the first time be the first to find something, to truly be unique.", he mused.
"Alaric Vane, the first guy to find whatever it is that lies in the deep darkness of death and the afterlife.", the ball of light thought to himself.
And so began the journey, of seeing nothing, feeling nothing and most of the time thinking about nothing. It was bland and he didn't even know if he was actually moving forward.
At one point the ball of light let his thought strive to every miniscule thing he ever thought, saw or felt about in his previous light.
From the scent of grass, to the feelings of despair knowing he would just be another boring human amongst billions and probably be forgotten, as if he had never existed in the first place. The visuals of entertainment that a peasant a 100 years ago would've thought to be witchcraft. The taste of his favorite dishes, the touch of his bed as a child.
The knowledge that he on the one hand thought would amount to absolutely nothing, yet on the other hand was more impressive than what probably the rest of the animal kingdom would've come up with in 100.000.000 years.
And so, the ball of light travelled to what to him personally felt like an eternity, to a place that looked like the beginning of his journey.
Pure Blackness.
And after thinking about everything in his previous life, he finally reminisced of how he died.
"I never thought I would be one of those good-hearted fools, that saved other people.
Never did I give a cent for charity.
Never did I do something nice for anyone, unless it was simple politeness.
Never did I help anyone with anything meaningful.
Never did I find someone to click with.
Yet in a moment I threw my life away for a kid, to save It from a burning building. I didn't even know it, nor did I even think about it. Maybe that's the thing that people will remember me for.
At the very least I didn't die alone in a hospital bed, without anyone coming to even visit my grave. Maybe someone who is related to the child will even put a flower bouquet in front of my gravestone."
The ball started to tremble.
" I want to do something meaningful, something where everyone will look up and say wow.
I want to do something to shock the world.
I want to find something meaningful in a meaningless world.
I want to feel something that isn't boredom for once…"
It was at this moment that the ball thought:
" How fun it would be to have another shot at it."
Its melancholic became so strong that the ball only thought about that.
And with this intense feeling of regret, came another feeling.
Warmth.
And with it another
Touch.
And suddenly the ball of light, which had thought only of the possibility of another chance at life realized, that he wasn't anymore a ball of light in darkness. He was simply there, and after thinking about it for another long time he realized he was about to be reincarnated, as a baby.
He wasn't a floating light anymore.
He was somewhere. He was someone.
"This time I won't waste it.
This time I will do something that will let the world remember me until the end of time itself.
In this life I will not be forgotten.
In this life I will do something that existence itself cannot deny."
And so, the journey in the darkness came to an end.