My life was… average. And when I say average, I mean boringly average. The kind of life where nothing exciting happens, but nothing bad happens either—until it does.
Take Crystal, for example. The love of my life, or at least, she was until she wasn't. We'd been together for almost two years, and honestly? I thought I was on the up-and-up. I had a crappy job as a customer support agent for a tech company, sure. I spent most of my time answering emails and dealing with angry customers who couldn't figure out how to reset their Wi-Fi. But at least I wasn't one of those guys who had to work three minimum wage jobs just to stay afloat. And I had Crystal.
But, of course, my grand plan to get my life together got derailed the moment Derek showed up.
Derek was one of those guys who had it all—looks, charm, confidence. The type of guy who never had to try too hard and still got the attention of everyone in the room. He had this annoying habit of wearing his collar popped, like he was too cool for everyone else, and don't even get me started on his laugh. It was the kind of laugh that made you wanna throw a brick at his face, but you couldn't because you knew he'd probably turn it into a joke and make you look dumb.
Yeah, Derek was that guy.
And I hated him. Not because he did anything wrong. Just because he was better than me in every possible way. Crystal was a nice girl. I knew that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with a guy like me—someone who worked a dead-end job, wore clothes that were only a little too big, and spent most of his time watching Netflix or playing video games.
But when Derek started hanging out with Crystal more, I started getting this feeling. Like something wasn't right. Maybe I was just paranoid. Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was. But my gut told me something was off. And sure enough, I found out.
It was a Tuesday night. I was sitting in our favorite diner, waiting for Crystal to meet me for dinner. It was the usual—nothing special. She was running late, but I didn't think much of it. That was until she walked in with Derek.
Not just with him. Holding his hand.
And then they sat down at the table across from me, talking like it was no big deal. Like they hadn't just ripped my heart out and stomped on it with a pair of designer shoes.
"Hey, babe," she said with that fake, strained smile. "I'm sorry, I meant to text you."
"Really?" I asked, my voice shaking, trying to hold back the stupid, pathetic tears I could already feel building up. "So this is what? You two are...?"
"I'm sorry," Crystal said. "I think I'm done. With you. With everything."
And just like that, my life crumbled. All the hopes, all the promises, gone in an instant. I couldn't even be mad at Derek. I mean, what was the point? It was never going to be me and Crystal. It was always going to be him.
I stood up, grabbed my jacket, and walked out. I didn't even look back. If I stayed, I would've said something stupid. Something I'd regret.
That night, I went home to my tiny apartment and just... sat. I stared at the walls, at the empty space where my life used to be. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't going to end it all. But I didn't have any answers. I didn't have any purpose. It felt like everything I'd worked for—every little hope I had—was just a joke.
It's funny how quickly things can go from bad to worse. I'd just started to think I might have been better off if I'd never met Crystal. Maybe I was destined to be a nobody forever. A forgotten face in a crowd. A loser.
And then—boom.
The lights flickered.
I blinked. What was happening? It wasn't a power outage. It was more like the entire apartment had just... glitched. Like I was in some weird, out-of-body experience.
Before I could even process it, everything went black. Not like the regular kind of blackout, where your vision just fades. No, this was cosmic black. Complete nothingness. The kind that made you question if your body was even still there. If I was still real.
And then I heard it. A voice. No, not a voice—a presence.
"Prepare yourself, for the path ahead will not be easy."
The words were strange, distant, like they were coming from the center of my mind, pulling my very thoughts apart. It wasn't comforting. It wasn't threatening either. Just... strange.
"What path?" I mumbled. "What's going on?"
The voice didn't answer, but I felt something shift. It was like a weight had lifted from me, but at the same time, a new weight settled in. It wasn't heavy—just... strange. Like I was no longer in control of my own direction.
Suddenly, the darkness faded. It wasn't like a light came on—it just ended. And when I opened my eyes, I was somewhere else.
I wasn't in my apartment anymore. I wasn't anywhere I recognized. I was on the ground, grass beneath me, the air thick with the smell of something unfamiliar. Trees. The sound of birds. Some distant screams. But not the kind you hear when you're watching a horror movie. These were screams of real pain.
I pushed myself up and looked around. Was this a joke? Was I still asleep? It didn't feel like a dream.
"Okay," I muttered, wiping dirt off my clothes. "I'm either dead or in some weird simulation."
The last thing I remembered was getting dumped and trying to piece my life back together. Now? Now, I was in some strange world I didn't recognize, and I was wearing weird clothes. Not a suit, not a hoodie. No, a tunic. And boots that were way too clean for someone who just woke up in the middle of nowhere.
I stood up, trying to get my bearings. There was no sign of a city, no signs of anything familiar. Just a forest stretching as far as I could see.
And then, as if on cue, I heard a scream again. A woman. This time closer. I froze for a second, my instincts kicking in.
"Maybe I should go check it out," I said. "Or maybe this is some weird-ass dream where I'm supposed to be the hero or some shit."
My legs moved before I even realized it. I pushed through the trees, following the sound, my mind still trying to wrap itself around the situation.
The forest was quiet.
Like, suspiciously quiet.
And then—
"AHH~! YES~! N-NGH~! R-RIGHT THERE~!"
I froze.
That wasn't the sound of birds, or wind, or any kind of "safe" nature sound. No, that was the sound of cheeks clapping and dignity collapsing.
"HAHN~! DEEPER~! AHH~! M-MORE~!"
My face twisted. Either someone was really enjoying the outdoors... or I'd wandered into the world's horniest camping trip.
Curiosity overpowered common sense (as usual), and I pushed through the bushes.
And then I saw it.
A guy getting ridden under a tree like his life depended on it. The girl on top was making the forest echo with every gasp, moan, and breathless squeal.
"NNNNGH~! YES~! THERE~! HAAAH~!"
She had animal ears twitching on top of her head, and a long, swaying tail behind her. Her body was slick with sweat, her eyes glassy and wild.
I was about to quietly nope the hell out—until I saw the guy's face.
It was me.
No joke. Same messy hair. Same face. It was like I was looking in a mirror that had just finished round three and still wanted more.
"What the f—?!"
I stepped out from the bushes. "Hey! What the hell is going on here?!"
The girl gasped, ears perking, tail curling. She turned her head slowly toward me—cheeks flushed, tongue peeking out, mouth open with a line of drool trailing down her chin.
"Ahh~! W-Who...?"
But even while talking, she was still letting out sounds.
"NNN~! Ngh~! Haah~! I-It's so... good~!"
The other me turned his head, annoyed. "Are you serious right now?"
I blinked. "Why is she wearing fake ears and a tail?"
She looked confused. "Fake...?"
Her ears twitched. The tail flicked. Real. Very real.
"She's a beastkin," the guy said flatly. "You must be new."
"You think?! I woke up in a forest and now I'm seeing myself get ridden by a moaning anime girl!"
That's when it hit me.
A jolt ran through my chest, like someone flipped a switch. A glowing screen appeared out of nowhere, hovering right in front of me—only I could see it.
____
[SKILLS UNLOCKED]
1. Sweet Tongue
Smooth talker. Can charm the clothes—and morals—off anyone.
2. Penis Enlargement
Size does matter. User only. Handle with confidence.
3. Testicular Tortion
A direct strike to enemy balls. Mental activation. Instant regret (for them).
____
I stared at the screen. Then at the guy still getting the ride of a lifetime. Then back at the screen.
And I smiled.
"Time to test drive," I muttered.
Without hesitation, I locked eyes on him... and activated Skill 3 – Testicular Tortion.
There was no warning.
He was mid-thrust. Mid-grin.
Then—SNAP.
His face twisted like he bit into a lemon made of pain. His body jerked. His hands flew to his crotch.
"HRRRKKK—AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!"
He flopped backwards like a fish out of water, rolling on the grass, screaming like someone just ripped his soul through his scrotum.
The girl yelped and jumped off him, wide-eyed and breathing heavily.
"W-What happened to him?!"
She looked at me, then down at me, blinking fast. Her cheeks went even redder.
I smirked and activated Skill 2 – Penis Enlargement.
A soft warmth rushed down.
BZZT.
Then her jaw dropped.
Her breathing hitched. Her legs squeezed together. She was panting harder now—like she hadn't just been moaning for ten minutes straight.
"Ahhh~! W-What... how...?" she whimpered, eyes locked on my crotch like it was calling to her.
Drool slipped from her lip again.
She was still moaning.
"NNHH~! Wh-Why does it look like that?!"
I casually adjusted my pants. "Natural upgrade."
The other me was still writhing on the ground, eyes rolled back, voice cracking as he whimpered something about betrayal and his nuts never forgiving him.
I turned, hands in my pockets, strolling off like I hadn't just spiritually uppercut someone in the baby maker.
This world was weird. But hey—I was weirder.