Protect
Keifer's POV
I went home not in my right mind. I stayed in the basement where our hangout is.
I went straight to the Mini Bar and just grabbed some alcohol. I didn't even bother to look at the brand. I just chugged it down to ease the heaviness I was feeling.
But alcohol has no use. Even if I finish all the alcohol here, nothing will probably change in how I feel.
Angelo is right. I have to push Jay-jay away from me but I have to feel numb in order to do that. I might be the first to give in when I see her suffering.
But I really can't do it. I'll let go of my life. If I do that, it will be the death of me.
"Kuya..." Someone called.
I turn around to check. It was Keigan walking slowly in the darkness.
"It's late... You should go to sleep." I said in a calm voice.
"I've slept too much. Maybe I'll go back to the room later." He said and forced a smile. "...Do you have a problem? Why are you still up and drinking?"
The way Keigan speaks makes me confused. He's too far away from the Keigan I spoke to this morning. He sounds normal.
"Same things of course." I answered.
There are times when I tell him my problems. I don't want him to feel like I'm drifting away from him or from him and Keiren.
So as long as I can tell him, I do. But there are times that I have to shut my mouth.
I went near him and invited him to sit on the floor. We leaned against the back of the couch to be more comfortable.
When we're in this position, we're just like normal siblings.
"How is your day?" I asked him.
It's been a while since I last asked how he was. Honey was right with everything she told me this morning.
"I slept for a whole day." He answered and shortly laughed. "...How about you?"
I shook my head. "Not good."
"Why?"
"Things are being fvcked up."
"Do you feel pressured? You don't need to rush. You still have a month to think about it."
"That's not the only thing I'm worrying about." I looked down and shook the bottle of alcohol in my hand.
"Is it about her?"
Keigan's voice suddenly sounded disappointed. I know he doesn't like Jay-jay. For him, she was a hindrance.
"Yes, it's about her." He didn't say a thing so I chose to continue talking about her.
"...I have to protect her from Clyde and from me. But I can't let go of her. She's my life."
I heard Keigan's sigh. "Think of this, Kuya. Can you handle seeing a gun pointed at her head, or can you bear seeing her hurt because you saved her?"
I shook my head. Actually, there's no difference. Hurting her so bad is like killing her and me.
Hitting two birds in one stone but the idea of her having a lifeless body is more horrible.
"I can't handle either." I answered and a few tears dropped from my eyes.
"...But I'd rather hurt her than let her die because of me."
"You don't have to feel bad about it. You really have to sacrifice.
You can't protect both Jay-jay and us at the same time.
You can't handle it because you don't have your inheritance yet." He said in a very calm voice. "...But look on the bright side. This is just temporary, sooner you can have your money. You can protect her and never lose her again. You will have all the time in the world to win her back."
I'm hopeless. I will never win her back. Once I let her go, Yuri or David will take advantage of that. They will do everything to have Jay-jay for themselves.
And I will lose her forever.
"I hate my life." I said and wiped my tears.
Keigan laughed. "You wouldn't hate our lives."
And I laughed with him. We're sitting on the floor, resting our back at the back of the couch and laughing together are bringing back memories.
It's a wave of nostalgia.
I really wished we had a normal family. A lovely Mom that's still alive.
A supportive Dad that puts the family first. And the three of us, Me, Keigan, and Keiren.
"I think we should go to bed. Especially you." Keigan said and I couldn't disagree. "...You look so stressed."
"I am indeed."
He stood up first and I followed. I returned the bottle I was holding back to the Mini Bar before walking out.
We're both in silence while walking together to our own bedrooms. I stopped in front of Keiren's room door.
"You go ahead. I'll just check Keiren."
He nodded and walked ahead. I slowly opened Keiren's bedroom door. His favorite mushroom lamp is on. It helps him calm down every time he's having trouble sleeping.
I slowly walked toward him. I picked up the blanket that had fallen to the floor because of how restless he sleeps. I covered him with it.
Sorry, Keiren, sorry if you never got to experience having parents.
I'm trying to be a Mom and Dad to you but I know it's not enough.
I hope you grow strong even without them. I hope you don't lose confidence in yourself. I hope you become stronger than me or Keigan.
I hope you don't become like me.
I kissed his forehead before leaving his room. I slowly closed the door and walked to my own room.
I feel exhausted. One by one, I unbuttoned my uniform.
When I got to my room, I took off my polo. Just as I threw it on the bed, a wallet-size picture fell.
I forgot about it…
I picked it up and stared at it. Unlike earlier, I didn't smile when I saw her face.
"Jay-jay…" I said and sat at the edge of my bed. "…I know there's a chance that you will never forgive me but I assure you, I will do anything to become stronger."
I placed her picture down on my bedside table.
"…and when I do, I will protect you no matter what."
As of now, let me save you from my relatives and… from me.
For now, I'll focus on my siblings first. They need me too.
I spent almost the whole night thinking about all the things that could happen. I didn't even get changed and just fell asleep. I still smelled like alcohol, and I was sure the scent clung to my bed.
I woke up because of knocking on my bedroom door. Headaches again are kicking in. I forced myself to get up even though my body didn't want to separate from the bed.
"Kuya! Wake up!" It was Keiren knocking at my door. "We might be late, me and Kuya Keigan!"
"Okay! I'm up!" I shouted.
He stopped knocking. I washed my face with my hands. I felt dizzy and like my head was going to split with every movement.
I forced myself to get up and as I stood, I almost collapsed.
I need to take Keigan and Keiren to school. And I also need to face Jay-jay.
It has to be today…
I was planning to delay it for a few more days. I didn't want to hurt her again and again, but that's what needs to be done. I don't want to wait too long because I might not be able to go through with it anymore.
I went straight to the bathroom and showered. I didn't stay long and got dressed quickly. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes are lifeless and cold.
After getting dressed, I went straight to the dining room where my siblings were having breakfast.
Keigan looks good today. Like he never cried yesterday. He's acting normal, just like how I usually see him.
"Eat breakfast." I heard someone say.
I looked at it and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here again?" I asked irritably.
"No breakfast at home, I'm here to eat," Honey answered.
I rolled my eyes. She's already turning my house into a hangout spot. Then she'll complain that her Uncle gets mad at her for coming here too often.
"What's with your look? You look like a grumpy guy with problems who just got dumped by his girlfriend," she said before swallowing her food.
"Just eat if you still want to be allowed to eat here again."
She just shrugged and continued eating. I grabbed a glass of coffee and drank it. I really didn't have the appetite to eat. I couldn't even feel my hunger because of the heaviness I was carrying.
Keigan and Keiren finished eating first. I asked them to wait for me outside.
Once I was sure they were gone, I approached Honey.
"Where's Keigan's maid? That Kate." I asked.
She suddenly stopped eating and looked at me with so much confusion.
"She left. Just last night."
My forehead creased. "What?"
"She ran away, according to your butler."
"But why?"
"Don't know."
I turned my back on her and let her continue eating. Why would she leave? I don't even know how many maids Keigan's had who ended up leaving my house.
When I got to the garage, I saw Keiren standing next to my car. Keigan is standing silently while reading a book. He even adjusted his glasses before flipping the page.
I chose to ignore the maid leaving. I'll think about them some other time.
I unlocked my car and asked them to get in.
"I will put my seatbelt," Keiren said before I could touch him.
"You said so."
I let him do it and got in at the driver's seat. I started the car and drove them both.
They go to different schools. Keigan's school is focusing more on academics than other activities, such as sports. The school he chose really suits him because he's smart.
Honestly, he's just like Ci-N.
After dropping them off, I felt like I didn't want to go straight to school. It's like i didn't want to drive and I just preferred to crash the car into a post.
This is punishment for me and it will also be a punishment for Jay-jay. But I have to follow
my plan. I have to save her.
When I got to school, I parked the car and got out. There were only a few students coming in because it was still early.
While walking towards our room, it felt like I was walking toward my death. Every step I took felt heavy.
I just want this day to be over.
When I got to the room, Eman and Josh were already inside. Rory and Edrix were with them too. They all went silent when I entered. I went straight to my seat and sat down without energy.
Not long after, Drew entered through the door followed by Blaster. They looked at me for a moment and then looked away as if I had a disease.
I waited a few more moments before the others arrived.
Most of them avoided me like they didn't want to be near me anymore.
"Wow! You really need a thick face for that!" Mayo muttered before sitting in his seat.
"Can you just shut up." said Kit.
Some parts of his face were still swollen. From what I know, he almost went into a coma, good thing he woke up quickly. I just don't know why the hospital discharged him.
I don't know how to ask for forgiveness from him.
"You're early today." Yuri greeted before sitting down. "...did something happen?"
I just looked at him for a moment before turning my gaze back to the door. I'm waiting for her to come inside.
I saw Ci-N walking toward me. I immediately signaled for him to stop.
"Stay right there."
"K-keifer... This is about Jay-jay."
I arched a brow. "And so?"
I could feel our classmates listening. I also knew they didn't like how I responded.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Keifer." Yuri asked with an irritated sound.
"Nothing is wrong with me. But with you, there is."
I heard few of them chuckled in disbelief.
"Listen first, Keifer." said Ci-N who looked worried. "...Yesterday, Jay-jay got into an accident. That's probably why she looked like she was struggling."
I knew it already. Angelo told me and showed me a CCTV footage from a crossing.
"Who cares." I answered sounding not really cared.
But I do.
We're already searching for those on the motorcycle. I already have a clue who they are. Confirmation is all what I need and I will hunt them down.
"Who cares? Are you out of your mind, Keifer?" David asked, annoyed. "...Didn't you even feel a bit of guilt for what you did?"
I didn't answer him and just stared at them. They looked at each other as if they were trying to figure out if they were all thinking the same thing about me.
"Looks like this is it." Felix said and all of them looked at him. "...You pulled off your plan yesterday. Am I right?"
"Keifer..."
"What about Jay-jay now?"
"I thought we already stopped that?"
They all reacted almost at the same time. They couldn't accept what Felix just said.
This is it. This is the only way I could think of. I didn't want this, but this is the most effective way. I know Jay-jay will get mad at them too, but unlike me, they still have a chance to be forgiven.
I had a different plan at first. I was planning to involve a girl but knowing Jay-jay, she might just beat her up.
"You pulled off your plan. What do you plan to do with Jay-jay now?" Eman said.
"Let's just say Keifer was driven by anger. Let's not talk about what we did." It was Blaster, who looked so worried.
"Jay-jay will get mad at us." Ci-N said, almost about to cry.
"I don't understand what you're doing." Yuri said.
"Let's just say it. There's no point, that's where this conversation is going anyway." Eren sounds irritated.
"We really can't do that!" Kit said.
"Just tell the truth already!" David also shouted.
"Don't boss Keifer around!" Rory shouted at David. "...He'll say it anyway. He just needs the right timing."
"I feel sorry for Jay-jay." Ci-N said while looking down.
"I already told you to stop that plan!" Eman said, he's obviously mad.
"Stop pretending! You were one of the ones who led that damn plan!" Denzel snapped.
Now they're pointing fingers at each other. Passing the blame, but there's only one person to blame here.
It's me.
"Just say it properly and let's apologize." Blaster suggested.
"Like it's that easy, huh?" Drew sarcastically said.
"Jay-jay won't forgive us." Yuri said.
"We'll make it up to her." It was Rory.
"It's not that simple." Edrix answered.
They keep suggesting things to do and blaming each other. But one thing is for sure. They want me to tell the truth. They want me to tell her.
But all the collisions stop when she steps her foot inside our classroom. My heart beats so fast.
"J-jay-jay...." They almost whispered.
"W-what's the truth? What plan?"
And that moment, I know we're both going to have a broken heart.