**Keifer's POV**
I was barely aware of how I made it home. I went straight to the basement, our usual hangout spot.
I headed to the mini bar and grabbed a bottle of alcohol. I didn't even bother checking the brand. I just drank it down, hoping it would ease the heaviness in my chest.
But alcohol had no use. Even if I drank every single bottle here, nothing would change how I feel.
Angelo was right. I had to push Jay-jay away from me, but I had to numb myself to do that. I might be the first to break if I saw her hurting.
But I really couldn't do it. I would be giving up my life. If I did that, I might as well be dead.
"Kuya…" Someone called.
I turned around to see Keigan slowly walking out of the darkness.
"It's late… You should go to sleep," I said in a calm voice.
"I've slept enough. I'll go back to my room soon," he said, forcing a smile. "Do you have a problem? Why are you still up and drinking?"
The way Keigan spoke confused me. He was so different from the Keigan I talked to this morning. He sounded normal. "Same old things," I answered.
There are times I tell him my problems. I don't want him to feel like I'm distancing myself from him or from them, especially Keiren. So, as long as I can talk to him, I do. But there are moments I have to keep quiet.
I walked over to him and invited him to sit on the floor. We leaned against the back of the couch for comfort. In moments like this, we felt like a normal pair of brothers.
"How was your day?" I asked.
It's been a while since I last asked him that. Honey was right about what she said to me this morning.
"I slept the whole day," he answered, laughing softly. "How about you?"
I shook my head. "Not good."
"Why?"
"Things are being messed up."
"Do you feel pressured? You don't have to rush. You still have a month to think about it."
"It's not just that I'm worried about," I said, looking down and shaking the bottle in my hand.
"Is it about her?"
Keigan's voice suddenly sounded disappointed. I knew he didn't like Jay-jay. To him, she was just a hindrance.
"Yes, it's about her." He didn't say anything, so I decided to keep talking. "…I have to protect her from Clyde and from me. But I can't let her go. She's my life."
I heard Keigan sigh. "Think about this, Kuya. Could you bear to see a gun aimed at her head, or could you bear to see her hurt because you saved her?"
I shook my head. Actually, there's no difference. Hurting her so badly is like killing her—and me. Hitting two birds with one stone, but the thought of her lifeless body is more horrible.
"I couldn't bear either," I answered, a few tears falling. "…But I'd rather hurt her than let her die because of me."
"You don't have to feel bad about it. You really have to sacrifice. You can't protect both Jay-jay and us at the same time. You won't manage because you don't have your inheritance yet." His voice was calm. "…But look on the bright side. This is only temporary. Sooner, you'll have your money. You'll be able to protect her and never lose her again. You'll have all the time in the world to win her back."
I'm hopeless. I will never win her back. Once I let her go, Yuri or David will take advantage of it. They'll do everything to make Jay-jay theirs.
And I'll lose her forever.
"I hate my life," I said, wiping my tears away.
Keigan laughed. "You wouldn't hate our lives."
And I laughed with him. Sitting on the floor, resting against the couch and laughing together brought back memories.
It's a wave of nostalgia.
I really wish we had a normal family. A loving mom who's still alive. A supportive dad who puts the family first. And the three of us—me, Keigan, and Keiren.
"I think we should go to bed. Especially you," Keigan said, and I couldn't disagree. "…You look so stressed."
"I am indeed."
He stood up first, and I followed him. I placed the bottle back in the mini bar before walking out.
We walked in silence to our separate rooms. I stopped in front of Keiren's door.
"You go ahead. I'll check on Keiren."
He nodded and walked ahead.
I carefully opened Keiren's door. His favorite mushroom lamp was on, helping him calm down whenever he had trouble sleeping.
I slowly walked over to him. I picked up the blanket he had kicked off the bed and covered him with it.
Sorry, Keiren. Sorry you never had parents. I'm trying to be both mom and dad to you, but I know it's not enough. I hope you'll be strong even without them. I hope you don't lose trust in yourself. I hope you become stronger than me or Keigan. I hope you don't end up like me.
I kissed his forehead before walking out of his room. I gently closed the door and headed to my own room.
I felt exhausted. I unbuttoned my uniform one by one. As soon as I threw my polo on the bed, a small wallet-sized picture fell out.
I had forgotten about it…
I picked it up and stared at it. Unlike before, I didn't smile when I saw her face.
"Jay-jay…" I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. "…I know there's a chance you'll never forgive me, but I assure you, I will do anything to become stronger." I placed her picture on the bedside table. "…And when I do, I will protect you no matter what."
For now, let me save you from my relatives and… from me. For now, I have to focus on my siblings. They need me too.
I spent most of the night thinking about what could happen. I never bothered to change. I fell asleep, smelling of alcohol that clung to my bed.
I woke up to a knock on my bedroom door. The headache was kicking in again. I forced myself to get up, even though it felt like my body didn't want to leave the bed.
"Kuya! Wake up!" It was Keiren knocking. "We might be late for school!"
"Okay! I'm up!" I shouted.
He stopped knocking. I splashed my face with my hands. I was dizzy, and it felt like my brain might split with every movement.
I forced myself to get up. I was going to have to take Keigan and Keiren to school. And I had to face Jay-jay.
It has to be today…
I planned to let it slide for a few more days. I didn't want to hurt her continuously, but that was what had to be done. I didn't want to drag it on any longer because I might lose my resolve and not be able to carry out my plan.
I went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. I didn't linger and quickly dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were lifeless and cold.
After getting dressed, I went straight to the dining room, where my siblings were having breakfast. Keigan looked good today, as if he hadn't cried the day before. He was acting normally, just like I always saw him.
"Eat breakfast." I heard someone command. I looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here again?" I asked irritably.
"There's no breakfast at home, so I'm eating here." Honey answered.
I rolled my eyes. She was practically making my house her hangout spot. Then she would complain that her uncle was scolding her for coming over too often. "What's with the look? You look like a grumpy guy whose girlfriend just dumped him." She said before swallowing her food. "Just eat, or you won't get another chance to eat here."
She shrugged and continued eating. I grabbed a glass of coffee and drank it. I really had no appetite. I couldn't even feel my hunger because of the weight on my chest.
Keigan and Keiren finished eating first. I asked them to wait for me outside. Once I was sure they were gone, I approached Honey.
"Where's Keigan's maid? Kate?" I asked.
She stopped eating and looked at me, confused. "She left. Just last night."
My forehead creased. "What?"
"She left, the butler said so."
"But why?"
"I don't know." I turned my back on her and let her continue eating. Why did she leave? I didn't know how many maids Keigan had lost from my house.
When I got to the garage, I saw Keiren standing beside my car. Keigan was standing silently, reading a book. He adjusted his glasses before turning the page.
I chose to ignore the maid leaving. I'd deal with it next time. I unlocked my car and told them to get in.
"I'll put on my seatbelt," Keiren said before I could touch it.
"You said so."
I let him do it and got in the driver's seat. I started the car and drove them both to their schools.
They went to different schools. Keigan's school focused more on academics than on other activities like sports. It suited him because he was smart. In fact, he and Ci-N were alike in that way.
After dropping them off, I didn't want to head to school. I didn't want to drive and almost preferred crashing the car into a pole. This was my punishment, and it would be Jay-jay's too. But I had to follow through with my plan. I had to save her.
When I arrived at school, I parked the car and got out. There were only a few students arriving because it was still early.
As I walked towards our classroom, it felt like I was walking towards my death. Each step felt heavy.
I just wanted the day to end.
When I entered the room, Eman and Josh were already inside. Rory and Edrix were with them. They all went quiet when I walked in. I went to my seat and slumped down, feeling drained.
Not long after, Drew entered, followed by Blaster. They glanced at me briefly and then looked away as if I had some sort of sickness.
I waited for a few moments before the others arrived. Most of them avoided looking at me, as though they didn't want to be near me.
"Aha! Looks like it's different when you have thick skin!" Mayo sneered as he sat down. "Can you shut up?" Kit said. His face was still swollen. I knew he almost went into a coma, but he'd woken up quickly. I didn't know why they had let him out of the hospital already.
"I didn't expect you to come so early," Yuri greeted me before sitting down. "…Is something wrong?"
I glanced at her for a moment before looking back at the door. I was waiting for her to come inside.
I saw Ci-N walking toward me. I immediately gestured for her to stop.
"Stay right there."
"Keifer… This is about Jay-jay."
I raised an eyebrow. "And?"
I could feel the class listening intently. I knew they didn't like my response.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Keifer?" Yuri asked, irritated. "Nothing's wrong with me. But with all of you, there is."
I heard a few chuckles from some of them.
"Listen, Keifer," Ci-N said, sounding concerned. "…Yesterday, Jay-jay got into an accident. That's why she seemed so hurt."
I already knew. Angelo had told me and even showed me CCTV footage from a crossing.
"Who cares," I answered, sounding indifferent.
But I did care.
We were already searching for the motorcyclists. I had a clue as to who they were. I just needed confirmation, and then I would hunt them down.
"Who cares? Are you out of your mind, Keifer?" David asked, frustrated. "…Don't you feel guilty for what you've done?"
I didn't answer him. I just stared at them.
They looked at each other, probably wondering if they were all thinking the same thing about me.
"Looks like this is it," Felix said, and everyone looked at him. "…You've already carried out your plan yesterday. Am I right?"
"Keifer…"
"What about Jay-jay?"
"I thought we decided to stop this?"
They all reacted almost simultaneously. They couldn't accept what Felix said.
This was it. This was the only way I saw it. I didn't want this, but it was the most effective way.
I knew Jay-jay would be angry with them, but unlike me, she might forgive them.
I initially had other plans. I was thinking of involving a girl, but with Jay-jay, she might just end up hurting her.
"You've done your plan. What's your next move with Jay-jay?" Eman asked.
"Let's just say Keifer was just caught up in his anger. Let's not talk about what we did," Blaster suggested, looking worried.
"Jay-jay will be mad at us," Ci-N said, almost crying. "I don't understand what you're doing."
"Let's just say it. It's going to lead to that anyway," Eren said, sounding irritated.
"We can't do that!" Kit said.
"Just say the truth already!" David shouted.
"Don't tell Keifer what to do!" Rory shouted at David. "…He'll say it when the time is right."
"I pity Jay-jay," Ci-N said, looking down.
"He already told us to stop with this plan!" Eman said, obviously angry.
"Stop pretending! You were one of the ones who pushed for this damn plan!" Denzel snapped.
Now they were pointing fingers at each other. Blame was being passed around, but only one person should be blamed here. And that was me.
"Just tell her the truth, and we'll apologize," Blaster suggested.
"Yeah, just like that?" Drew said sarcastically.
"Jay-jay won't forgive us," Yuri said.
"We'll make it up to her," Rory said.
"It's not that simple," Edrix replied.
They kept suggesting things and blaming each other. But one thing was clear. They wanted me to tell the truth. They wanted me to tell her.
Everything stopped when she stepped into the classroom. My heart raced.
"J-jay-jay…" They almost whispered.
"What's the truth? What's the plan?"
And at that moment, I knew we were both going to end up with broken hearts.