I guess I'm the most unconventional "transported" person.Well, I haven't heard or read about anyone like me, and I've read a lot. A LOT.
The typical scenario: hit by a car — "bam" — and suddenly you're in another world.There are many variations of death: you get electrocuted, stabbed, shot, or there's a plane crash. And some people don't even have any adventure — they just fall asleep at home and wake up in another world.
Alright, let me quickly tell you about me: born — lived — died.The "born" part can be skipped: I don't really remember much about my childhood.The "lived" part was great. I had a pretty awesome life. Seriously, it was good. I studied well, found a well-paying, easy job. I had a three-room apartment and a car. Things were good on the personal front. And I had a hobby (if you can call it that): watching anime, reading manga, fanfics, and all kinds of sci-fi, fantasy, and a bit of playing RPGs.But when it came to the "died" part, things weren't so great. Well, what's good about death, especially when it's your own and not your annoyingly loud neighbor from the top floor?
One not-so-beautiful Sunday, I went out to the balcony to smoke. Yeah, the health ministry is right when they warn that smoking is bad for your health, but who knew it would end like this... So here's the picture: I'm standing, smoking, leaning on the railing, admiring the view of the city. Suddenly, the railing's right side comes loose — and I fall off the balcony.
You'll say: "Nothing special: fell off a balcony." Well, that's just where it began. Not only did I survive (it was only three floors), but I also slowed my fall by hitting a tree and landed in some bushes. Yeah, I got scratched up, but nothing fatal. I'm lying there on a prickly bush, staring at the sky (which was particularly beautiful that day) when I notice, out of the corner of my eye, the railing falling off my balcony and heading straight for me. The very same railing that was the reason I'm now taking an unplanned break. And it's aiming directly at me.
Noticing this, I managed to curse out the situation (at least a three-story-long string of swear words) and roll a little to the side. Well, that didn't help much: the railing hit me on the head.
Well, that's it! "Hello, New World!" But no... My luck is still with me, and I survived. I kept my life but got a nice bump on my head. The doctors diagnosed me with "a concussion where my brain should be" and put me in an ambulance.
On the way to the hospital, our ambulance gets hit by a truck. Ha! And even that wasn't enough to finish me off: I only got a little scared and a few scratches. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the ambulance crew... I was well-secured on the stretcher, and the stretcher was also securely fastened in the ambulance.Just a few days ago, they added modern models to the fleet. The governor wanted to look good before the elections, so I had the luck of not dying in a regular car accident. And again, I missed my ticket to a new life.
They did manage to get me to the hospital. There, they dumped me in the emergency room. And they completely forgot about me. What do you expect? We have FREE MEDICINE. I was found by the night shift. Well, not exactly found, but more like stumbled upon the unnoticed body on the unattended stretcher. My poor, neglected body caused quite a debate: the previous shift was in a hurry to go home and denied me, while the current shift didn't want to take some random body from who knows where. After half an hour of heated discussions, the stretcher was sent... no, not to the morgue. There were some suggestions, but since I was still showing signs of life, the debaters settled on sending me to the ICU.
The emergency room was on the first floor, just like the morgue, and the ICU was on the third floor. Naturally, everyone headed for the elevator. On the way, I saw a room marked "M/F," which I really wanted to visit. I mentioned this to my escorts. "Oh, maybe you can hold it?" I insisted on a categorical refusal, saying I had been holding it since morning, and if they didn't want to clean up the stretcher and elevator, they needed to make a stop.
While we were arguing, an old man on a wheelchair got in the elevator and started going up. But as soon as the elevator reached the top floor, we heard the sound of a snapped cable and the elevator plummeting. So, visiting the "M/F" room became irrelevant.
Eventually, they took me to the ICU by stairs. On the way up, they almost dropped me six times and actually dropped me twice. I still don't understand how I didn't break my neck. The first time, a wheel on the stretcher fell off. The second time, the straps I was secured with broke.
In the ward, I was sure my suffering was finally over. Oh, how naïve I was! That night, I nearly died three more times by sheer luck. First, I was mistakenly taken to surgery, where I almost died from the anesthesia. Now I know I'm allergic to it.
The next day, my girlfriend came to visit. I was so happy to see her! And she brought me snacks. I ate them, thinking life was getting better. She then told me about two incidents that happened during the night. I didn't listen to the details; the important thing was that those two times passed me by.
And now we reach the climax of this epic tale of my death.About ten minutes after my girlfriend left, the doctors declared my death by asphyxiation.I choked on a cherry pit.