Today, I walked down the stairs of my school for the last time. It seemed unreal, but after tonight, I would be a high school graduate with a 4.9 GPA and at the top of my class. It felt weird but I was happy since there weren't many black people in my school that did, and I got a full ride to the college of my choice. That meant I would be free of my little town and the people in it, but I didn't want to leave my mom. However, she should have been happy because I was the only one of her three children who graduated and wanted to make something out of myself. It was to give her the life we deserved— the life I deserved.
Sadly, we would have been well off if my dad hadn't decided to take it all. The bastard got up and left one day, leaving us with nothing, and in the end, my mom ended up having to get three jobs until my brothers were old enough to decide to drop out of school and help. It didn't have to be that way, but they saw it as the best decision, and it ended with one of them dead while the other was in prison for thirty years. It left my mom and I on our own until I was able to work.
The difference between us was mama stayed on my tail, and made sure I worked a real job, and yelled in my ear every chance she got for me to stay in school. She didn't want me to end up like my brother, and I wasn't trying to. Running the streets wasn't the answer for me, and it was the reason why my brother Terrell was dead, and Andre was in jail. Each day, she would remind me of this as she said I was to finish school and make something out of myself.
I held on to those words, and it got me to where I was. I pushed myself with late nights of working, coming home, and doing homework while I focused on the bigger prize. I was valedictorian with the highest GPA and was going to Harvard on a full scholarship. I couldn't be prouder of myself, but the way my mom smiled made it better. I did something right and did something most couldn't.
"I get excited every time you walk through that door lately. I have a gift for you, Chantal, and before you say I shouldn't have. I saved up for it. I wasn't about to let my baby walk across the stage as the valedictorian in something from Goodwill." Just by the bag, I noticed she had overdone it, but the action made me cry as I watched her open the bag to a beautiful pencil skirt dress with a new pair of heels. I smiled as a pain hit my side, causing me to touch it and making my mom frown.
"What's wrong? Please don't tell me your period is coming on. You know how you bleed."
"It's not that Ma. It's the same thing that's been troubling me for the last few months. I fell again, and I don't remember where, but this bruise is back... It's sore." For a moment, she was emotionless until she walked over, examining my side while slowly touching the mark and humming before shrugging her shoulders.
"You need to learn to be careful... do you like it?"
"Mama, you didn't have to spend your hard earn money on me—"
"Cha, don't start with that mess. I told you I wasn't letting you walk across the stage with a hand-me-down dress on. It made me happy doing this for you, sweetheart. I did right by you. You're my only child who graduated and going to college. I am going to do what it takes for you to succeed." She smiled, pulling me into a hug and crying. It made me do the same. This woman was my rock, and I would do anything for her.
"I need to call Dad—"
"I talked to him. He said he would see if he can make it or not. In other words, if he didn't have to work late. That's always his damn excuse. Grant listens to whatever that bitch has to say. Don't worry about him, Cha. The only people you need there are me, your dad's mom and sister. Although they never did a damn thing for you, and Dre sends his love. He wishes he could be there."
I knew I shouldn't have been disappointed. My dad never came to anything that I was getting rewarded for, but it was a big day for me. He should have fought to come, but it was her. Zonnique Phillips was the woman who had inhabited all of his time. She made sure he only had time for her and their children and the hell with her. In Zonnique mind, I didn't exist, and he wasn't entitled to help with anything I needed. I should have hated him, but I couldn't because he was my father, and I loved him either way.
"I'll call him myself. He has to be there— oh, before I forget, I was invited to an after-party for graduation. Will it be okay if I go?" She stared at me like I was crazy. I didn't always ask to go places because I normally went to work and school, but tonight, all the seniors were going to be there, and I was invited.
"Chantal, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't have to ask to go places. You're eighteen, and in a few months, you will be nineteen and out of my home in another state thousands of miles away. Are you going to call and ask me then, too?"
"Really, Mom? It's called respect since I'm still living under your roof." I laughed as she nodded her head, as my cell phone rang. It was my dad, and I hoped he wasn't calling to cancel on my graduation, but I knew he was.
'Dad.'
'First, I want to start by saying how happy I am. I am so proud of you sweetie—'
'But you can't come.' My heart dropped as he let out a breath, telling me all I needed to know. A tear slipped down my face as I tried not to say something I would regret. Why did this woman have to be this way? I was his child, but she thought I was nothing.
'Daddy—'
'Oh, sweetie... Zo, I can't do this to her. Not today of all days, she's my eldest daughter, and today is her graduation—"
'So, the little bitch is more important than the dinner I planned with my family? Have you forgotten I am your fiancée?'
'How can I forget? You remind me every day, but you will not disrespect my child.'
'Dad, it's okay. I'll make sure Mama sends you the pictures. You can also tell Zonnique she doesn't have to worry about me interfering with your relationship or family again—'
'Baby—' Before he could finish, I hung up. I knew he didn't mean any harm, but I couldn't take any more of Zonnique's bullshit. It was up to my dad to do what was right, and I could only hope he would. So, without a word, I went to the bathroom to ready myself for tonight, and after, we made our way back to the school.
On stage, I was anxious. I had to give this big speech, and I was sure I would mess up. However, I made it through as everyone clapped and cheered, but it didn't end there. I had to receive my diploma and given that my last name started with an A, I was on my way back in front of the crowd. I was happy and scared at the same time, and when my name was called, I nearly jumped out of my skin. The whole time, I was telling myself not to trip over my own feet, and my mom didn't make it any better.
"WOO-HOO THAT'S MY BABY GIRL RIGHT THERE! THE TOP OF HER CLASS!"
I wanted to find a corner to hide in, but when my eyes landed on my dad holding up my baby sister as he yelled, my smile grew. I didn't care about anything at that moment, but I was proud to see him and how mad Zonnique looked. I didn't care. For once in the last eight years, my dad done something right. He came to my graduation and brought Zonnique's family, who was cheering me on with my parents.
It was a step up from being a partial deadbeat to the dad I knew he could be. I was proud of him, and throughout my graduation, I couldn't stop thinking about how proud I was of myself and my achievements to the point I didn't realize graduation was over until everyone around me stood and cheered. It broke my daydreaming quickly as I stood and ran straight into my dad's arms.
"Woah! I love you too, Baby Girl, and I'm happy for you. I don't care how mad she is right now. I knew I couldn't miss this. My baby graduated at the top of her class... damn I couldn't be happier. I've been absent for too damn long, and tonight you needed me, so here I am. I'm a proud man right now, and I know your mom is over the hill."
My smile became bigger as he kissed my cheek, whispering he loved me once more before allowing me to hug my mother. Instead, she pulled him into our hug, whispering thank you into his ear as if I couldn't hear. I felt like we were a family again until she cleared her throat.
"Chantel, we have something for you." We meant my father. I was dumb and knew she would never buy me anything and probably through a fit because he got me something. However, I turned to Zonnique with a fake smile as she handed me a small black box. Quickly, I cocked a brow and carefully looked inside, seeing a beautiful diamond necklace with my class year and name engraved on it.
"Despite what you believe about me, I do care for you, and I'm happy you have made it this far. Just don't disappoint us and drop out of college. You have a full ride, so make the best of it, and remember you can be whatever you want to be."
"Grant, control your bitch! The nerve of that woman— fuck that you can leave. My daughter doesn't need your negativity. Plus, Chantel is about to go to a party. Also, thanks for not disappointing our daughter. She needed you today, and you came through. I'm proud of you, Grant."
"Shanice, I love my children even knowing they weren't all mine. Don't act like I don't, and if you weren't a bitch about things, I could have done a lot more for Chantel—"
"What are you talking about?"
"It's bullshit Cha." I knew my mom was lying about something. He was too serious with his words, but I couldn't let it get under my skin. Tonight was the end of one era and the beginning of another. I wanted to focus on the future, and that was what I was about to do when a group of my classmates walked up with big smiles.
"Please tell me you are down for tonight Cha. I am not partying without you, chick." I laughed and nodded. Another smile spread across my friend's face, and she started pulling me towards the door. Quickly, I started to regret my decision, although it was a lie.
"Great, you can ride with me. We're about to get fucked up tonight bitches!" She screamed, trying to pull me out the door until my dad grabbed my arm. The look he had was serious, and at first, I thought he was about to talk me out of going.
"Be safe and don't drink anything that you don't know what it is... and call if you need a ride home no matter the time, Chantel. Call me, your mom, or Zo. Do not get into a car with an intoxicated person, and don't drive if you are. Do you understand me?" He spoke, looking me dead into my eyes. Slowly, I nodded as if something was controlling me.
"Yes, sir."
"Good, now y'all go have fun, but not too much. Love you, Baby Girl."
*
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*
Later that night, we found ourselves at one of our classmates' homes. She was one of the richest people our school and lived about an hour away from the city. It surprised me that her parents allowed this with only one strict rule, which was if we drank, there was no driving, and we were to find a room in the home. They were there and made sure to take their keys. Pamela didn't mind, and for someone with money, she was one of the kindest people I knew and was always aiming to help.
However, I sat back and watched my classmates dance while they had a great time. I wanted to go, but I wasn't the partying type, and I definitely didn't like large groups of people. Tonight, I was trying something different; although a part of me wanted to leave, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head as I tried to enjoy myself.
"CHANTALLLL! WHY ARE YOU SITTING BACK LIKE YOU'RE SCARED CHICK?"
"Oh, my goodness, don't ever scare me like that again! And you're drunk." I spoke, holding my chest and looking back at my best friend and headache since kindergarten. Lacey was a party person, and she hated that I wasn't.
"Fuck yeah, I'm drunk, and you should be too. I thought you had left, but why are you over here by yourself? Did someone do something to you? Do I need to beat someone's ass? Bitch point me in the right direction." I glared at her as she smiled and quickly pulled me into a hug, kissing down my neck, causing me to push her away.
"We're not doing that—"
"Aww, I wanted to taste the kitty. I'll leave but promise me you will let me know if you go home, and I'll come back and check on you. Don't drink too much and Love ya Boo!"
"Yeah, love ya back! And be careful, Lace." I knew she wasn't listening to me, but I couldn't imagine losing her. She was like a sister even though she left me alone once more until a teen I'd never seen sat beside me. The strange thing was how he sat next to me staring for the longest without saying a word, which was starting to creep me out. Therefore, I slowly stood as I told myself to leave.
'Sit!' He whispered, although I didn't see his mouth move. Still, something forced me to listen as I flopped back down into my seat. I was in disbelief... scared, but he held a straight face looking out into the crowd.
"Didn't your parents tell you it's impolite to stare?" My mouth opened, but nothing came out even though the words were at the tip of my tongue. "You're beautiful that much, I will say. Yet it's not safe for you to be sitting all alone. There are a lot of creeps at this party."
"As yourself." He laughed as I scoffed, shaking my head. I didn't see anything funny. To me, his words were a threat, as if he were going to do something to me or my drink. "No, I would never do anything a person didn't ask me to do. I don't have to drug my women since they come to me begging, and if I see something I like, it's still the same."
"I don't beg for shit, but I see you have a lot of confidence. Yet, I'm not interested. Plus, I don't know you—"
"Ambrose and I know you very well, Chantal Allen. The smartest girl in the school, and you wouldn't know me because I have always been homeschooled and graduated a year before you. I have medical problems, so to say, and I don't like being around others, but tonight is different. Why is a beautiful girl such as yourself alone in a corner? There are a lot of people watching you and plotting."
Without a thought, I looked around the room as he pointed at the group of thugs across from us. They were smiling, licking their lips as they made their way over. "Cha, whatcha doing over here with this ghost-like motherfucker? Come chill with us, Bae; I know you miss me."
"Trey, I told you we were over the last time—"
"Then you want this fucking joke? Bitch you belong to me and will beat this ghost ass over what's mine!" Ambrose stood and laughed at Trey's words, making the fool step close and gripping his shirt. That quickly, everything spun out of control for nothing.
"TREY GOT DAMNIT STOP AND LEAVE!" I yelled as I stood. I wanted to enjoy myself, and Ambrose was doing nothing but sitting and talking to me. Plus, Trey and I were over with, but he didn't know how to leave me alone. He thought it was okay for him to sleep around but wrong for me to talk to another dude.
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE YELLING AT BITCH?!" He yelled as his hand went across my face, and the next thing I knew, I was falling backward as the side of my head hit the table. My head started to feel heavy as people screamed and ran, but everything around me became dark. Trey wondered why I left him, and this was why. He was abusive, and if my dad found out, he would be in a cell along with my brother for murder.