Stepping outside was the dumbest thing I'd done since… well, five minutes ago.
I wandered the streets like a lost duck, every nerve in my body screaming: DO NOT TALK TO ANYONE.
Which, obviously, meant someone was about to talk to me.
"Excuse me?" a voice said.
I flinched so hard I almost threw my phone into a trash can.
Slowly, like a horror movie protagonist about to get murdered by a ghost, I turned around.
It was a girl.
A very cute girl.
She was holding a tiny, fluffy dog on a pink leash, and she was smiling at me like I wasn't a total gremlin.
"Um, sorry," she said, laughing a little. "You dropped this."
She held out my wallet.
My brain short-circuited.
Wallet? When did I even—oh, yep, there it was, missing from my back pocket because I was too busy having a mental breakdown.
I took it from her with all the grace of a stunned fish.
And then it hit me.
SHE TALKED TO ME.
The system gleefully lit up.
[New Task Update: Go on a "date" with this person!]
[Reward: $800 + bonus surprise!]
I could almost hear the system cackling like a Disney villain in the background.
I cleared my throat, trying to sound like a functioning human being.
"Uh... thanks. So. Um."
Wow. Nailed it. Smooth like broken glass.
The girl tilted her head, still smiling patiently. "Are you okay?"
No. No, I was not.
"Do you wanna maybe... grab coffee? Or something?" I blurted out so fast it sounded like one word.
She blinked.
Her dog barked once, like it was judging me. (Fair.)
Then—
She smiled wider. "Sure."
Fast-forward five minutes and we were sitting at a little café, tiny dog and all.
I didn't even know how it happened. One second I was panicking, the next I was holding a cup of overpriced coffee, staring at this girl like she was an alien.
"My name's Mia, by the way," she said, stirring her latte.
"Allen," I croaked.
The dog (whose name was apparently Marshmallow, because of course it was) barked again, hopping up onto Mia's lap like a tiny, fuzzy gremlin king.
"You're really good with dogs," Mia said.
I laughed nervously, trying not to visibly sweat. "Yeah, uh, totally. Love 'em. Big fan."
Lies.
Complete, pants-on-fire lies.
I was terrified of dogs.
Even the tiny fluffy ones. ESPECIALLY the tiny fluffy ones.
They were like land piranhas with cuter marketing.
Marshmallow gave me a look that said he knew I was a fraud.
I sipped my coffee to avoid eye contact with him.
While Mia chatted about her job (something cool involving art galleries), I snuck a glance at the system screen still floating in the corner of my vision.
[Bonus Task: Compliment her laugh]
[Reward: $100]
Alright, easy enough.
I waited until she laughed at some dumb story about a pigeon stealing her sandwich.
"You have a really nice laugh," I said, trying not to sound like a complete creep.
She blinked, then smiled, cheeks going pink.
Ding!
[Task Completed!]
[+$100 deposited to your account]
Okay, SYSTEM, maybe you're not a total jerk after all.
Mia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned forward a little. "Thanks, Allen. That's sweet."
Was... was this going well??
Was this an actual good date???
I felt like I had just unlocked a secret achievement: [Socially Functional For Once].
Of course, the system wasn't done with me.
Because suddenly the screen flashed again:
[New Task: Pet the dog!]
[Reward: $200]
I choked on my coffee.
Mia looked concerned. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah!" I coughed. "Just, uh, went down the wrong pipe!"
Pet the dog.
Pet the dog.
PET THE FREAKING DOG.
I glanced at Marshmallow, who was staring at me like he was planning my funeral.
This was it. My final boss fight.
With trembling hands, I reached out toward the tiny demon—
—and Marshmallow licked my hand.
I flinched so hard I almost fell out of my chair.
But Mia laughed, and Marshmallow wagged his tail like oh, you're not so bad after all, human.
Ding!
[Task Completed!]
[+$200 deposited to your account]
After that, the date actually… got kind of nice.
We talked, we laughed, I managed not to die of dog-related fear.
Mia was funny and easygoing, and it felt good—like actual, real happiness, not just the fake kind I had to work so hard for.
As we finished our coffee, she smiled at me.
"This was really fun," she said. "Maybe we could do it again sometime?"
I blinked, stunned.
Was this happening?
Was a cute girl actually asking me out??
Was this REAL LIFE??
I nodded, probably way too eagerly. "Yeah! Definitely!"
Mia laughed, scribbled her number on a napkin, and handed it to me.
"Call me, okay?"
"I will," I promised, clutching the napkin like it was made of pure gold.
Marshmallow barked approvingly.
As I stood there, watching Mia and Marshmallow disappear around the corner, my phone buzzed again.
I pulled it out with shaking hands, expecting another tiny payout.
Instead, the Happiness System flashed the fattest, juiciest message yet:
[First Date Task Completed!]
[Reward: $800 + bonus surprise deposited to your account!]
[Bonus Surprise: Luck Boost for 24 hours!]
I nearly dropped my phone.
Eight. Hundred. Dollars.
EIGHT. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.
I stared at my banking app like it was a portal to Narnia.
The money was there. Sitting. Real. Mocking me with its delicious, life-changing existence.
And the Luck Boost? I had no idea what that even meant, but it sounded amazing.
Like, maybe I'd actually cross the street without almost getting hit by a bus for once.
"Thank you, system," I whispered under my breath, genuinely emotional.
The screen answered with a casual sparkle, like it was tossing me a wink and finger guns.
I hated how charming it was. I hated it so much.
My brain was still doing somersaults as I stumbled down the street.
I was already imagining all the ways I could spend that money:
Actual groceries.
Real shampoo instead of whatever mystery sludge I'd been using.
Maybe even socks that didn't have holes in them??
The possibilities were endless.
The day was looking up, the sun was shining, birds were chirping—
And then a dog barked behind me.
I froze.
Slowly, like a man about to meet his doom, I turned around.
A GIANT dog. A horse pretending to be a dog, honestly, was galloping toward me, tongue lolling out happily.
It wasn't angry.
It wasn't threatening.
It was just... very large.
And very fast.
The system popped up cheerfully:
[Mini-Challenge: Hug the big dog!]
[Reward: $300]
I stared at the message, betrayal dripping from every pore.
"Are you kidding me," I whispered.
The dog barreled into me like a wrecking ball made of fur and pure chaos.
I barely managed to stay on my feet as it shoved its giant slobbery head into my chest.
It wanted hugs.
The system wanted me to hug it.
I could almost hear it snickering.
Trembling like a chihuahua at a fireworks show, I patted the dog's head with two fingers.
The dog thumped its giant tail against my legs, nearly knocking me over.
Ding!
[Mini-Challenge Completed!]
[+$300 deposited to your account]
The owner came jogging up a second later, apologizing profusely.
Meanwhile, I stood there, a hollow husk of a man, covered in dog drool but $300 richer.
When I finally escaped (alive, somehow), I made my way back home, riding the high of money and adrenaline and the faint scent of wet dog.
As soon as I slammed my door shut behind me, I collapsed onto my sad couch with a sigh of pure relief.
The system, apparently sensing that I was seconds from melting into the carpet, popped up with another message:
[Daily Happiness Tip: You're doing great! Have a cookie today!]
I let out a wheezy laugh.
"A cookie, huh?" I said aloud.
Maybe I would buy myself a cookie.
Heck, maybe I'd buy two cookies.
I was rich now, baby.
(Okay, not rich rich, but rich enough to get cookies and real food and maybe even a discount hoodie.)
I leaned back, grinning up at the ceiling, the soft glow of the system screen floating above me like a weird, glitchy guardian angel.
For the first time in forever, the future didn't feel like a giant meat grinder waiting to chew me up.
It actually felt kinda... exciting.
Maybe tomorrow I'd call Mia.
Maybe tomorrow I'd actually start living instead of surviving.
Whatever happened next, one thing was for sure:
I wasn't alone anymore.
Even if my new best friend was a chaotic, glitchy system with a gambling addiction to dog-based challenges.