Guacamole's POV.
My human is so boring, all she does is listen to other people's problems and tells them what's wrong. She also gets paid for it. But at least, for a few people I can sit on her lap while she listens to their problems. When I can't sit on her lap, I'm stuck in her office. Her office is very fun, it has toys for me to play with.
My favorite being is Ms Jaggster, she's so nice. She gives me a treat whenever she's there but my human found out about it and since that day..... I've never gotten treats from Ms Jaggster anymore... or at least thats what my human thinks. Whenever my human looks away, Ms Jaggster sneaks me a delicious treat.
Sometimes weird beings come to visit. One had seven eyes and sneezed glitter. I barked at him and my human said, "Guacamole, be nice!" But I was being nice! I was warning her he might explode! He didn't. But I still don't trust glitter sneeze guy. Not one bit. He gives me the heebie-jeebies. Whenever he comes I stand on my humans lap, it hurts my leg but I won't let my human get hurt. All things considered, I should take care of my human more, I was in the "Dog Force", a highly trained military force that consisted of German Shepherds, Chihuahuas with PHD's. In my adoption area, we were the ones that reigned over everyone but also kept everyone safe from strange beings like the Heebie-Jeebies being. So, it is my duty to keep my human safe.
The most fun part about her job, though, is that she manages her own time. So, if I get sick, she also calls in sick and no one can do anything about it, hehehe.
There are also days where she has no work and those are the best. If those days happen, she takes me out and we go everywhere, it's so fun. Any moment I spend with my human is awesome. But those days are very rare, but today is that rare day.
My human is free today and she's taking me out. Like always, we're first going to a bakery/coffee shop since my human loves pastries. I also love this bakery/coffee shop, they give me free treats since they also sell doggy treats. I'm treated like royalty while the others treated like commoners. I am the IT dog.
We started late today, at lunch. Thus there are many corpses holding coffee mugs. They creep me out-one corpse even petted me and groaned "Oh how nice, you have time to walk a dog and enjoy your pastry, while I have to work with my tyrannical boss who hates dogs. Your dog is so well mannered, maybe my boss would like this dog. Can I have her?" Obviously, my human said no but she was giving me the jitters. I felt sad for her, she must have a mean boss, I hope she's okay.
My human's name was called out that means our pastries and coffee is ready, yum!
"Bark! Bark! (Gimme! Gimme!)"
"Ok, ok, calm down Guac, you'll get your pastries. Hey, manager Nancy!"
One thing I forgot to add, my human is best friends with the manager of the shop, thats one of the reasons she gives me treats. The other being my cuteness. She hands me a treat. All the dogs at the park are always jealous of me, they wish they were me.
"Nancy, you need to stop giving Guac treats. You're just like Ms Jaggster, you're both gonna make her overweight and then she might faint. Once she faints, I'll have to take her to the vet and then the vet will force me to stop coming here. Once I stop coming here, that means less business for you. Less business for you means less money and the owner will be angry at you, not me. You know that I'm one of your highest buying customers, no one else buys this much."
"Oh, calm down. Guac will be just fine, stop going to worst possible scenario."
My human is a very pessymistec person. I don't know how to spell, I'm a dog.
"Just give me my order, Nanc."
Yes, it's finally time for me to snack on my food which will then liberate my hunger and make me free from the shackles of jealousy of other dogs eating, deliver me.....de food.