NOT A S*X SLAVE
Present day, 8th March 2024
"How did we get here, Aholah?" I questioned myself continually as I walked out of the admin's office that day. Eight carry-overs, I can't graduate this year.
My Parents. Gush!
Where did they get it wrong? No, I'm the one who got it wrong. My parents are pastors, how do they explain to the church that my 4-year course suddenly turned 5? For the first time in my four-year stay in Convent Faith, I was here at the popular administrative building toilet (The only toilet in the school that had mirrors), staring disgustingly at myself in the mirror. I need to take another semester to clear this carry-overs. I can't graduate with my peers, how do I tell Daddy? What will the church say? Aholah, do you realize you are the only one left in this family?
Rhetoric questions and hurtful memories flushed into my soul.
"As the Lord has anointed you, Adediwura Toluwanile to bring good tidings to us this morning, I pray that His anointing will never cease in your life in the name of Jesus!"
The church echoed "Amen!"
That was fifteen years ago, my five-year-old self recited a Psalm on Children's day. My parents weren't even pastors then, but i and my elder sister; we were flames of fire in the hand of God. In Fact, while I read the Psalm, she prepared and delivered the day's sermon.
Noticed the difference in my name? Yes, my parents call me Wura - Adediwura. I got Aholah in CRS class in SS 3. My elder sister and I were in the same class (after repeating the class twice, I met her there, I was the star of my house then). We were arguing which is the right answer and after that class, we just couldn't stop them. I loved the sound of "Aholah" and since it was a Bible name, I claimed it. All my friends call me Aholah because I tell them to.
Okay, back to my story…
Our mum was on the moon that day, compliments from church members didn't stop until we entered our house, and they shut the doors. It was from there we got a scholarship to sponsor our primary school education. Even though my parents were buoyant enough to cater for all our needs, the scholarship meant a lot to them. At least, it means our lives were already yielding good fruit at ages 5 and 7.
"My God, How did I … How did I fail so much? What do I do with a 1.5 CGP? God, why? Me, I must graduate o…"
"Hiii Aholah" Esther's voice wrenched me out of my supposed 'quiet time'. Before I could think, she had hugged me from behind.
"Ta! Who be this?!" I wanted her to know that I was irritated by her hug.
"Aholah, how have you been? I have missed you." She went on.
Then silence. I could not tell whether I was having a panic attack or a last breath.
But She's said that before, and It didn't also go well…
I remember…
***
"Aholah, how are you doing? I miss you."
"Fine" I whimpered and tears flooded my eyelids almost immediately. That was 200 level first semesters. I had stabbed chapel that Wednesday evening to be alone with myself on the school field.
"You're not…" She tried to hold me, but I pushed her almost immediately.
"Don't touch me, please." Hm, I had a little courtesy then, poor Aholah. I was so full of hatred, bitterness, and resentment and I knew anyone who came near me that day or that week or forever will have a taste of it.
"Bunkie, you're scaring me."
Ex bunkie!
"Esther, I really wish to die. I'm pained. " She cried. " I've been used and trashed. "
"By whom?" She almost screamed. "Is it that, Emmanuel? You said you were just friends."
Somehow, she got what that meant. We've discussed many times about girls ho cheaply allow boys to use and dumped them an I remember how our 100 level days were, two religious friends who do nothing but go to chapel a gossip about every bad but pleasurable things that others are doing.
Maybe that was why I changed. What a boring life we lived.
I just cried the more, already regretting that I had uttered a word in the first place. Esther can be so judgmental. Why did I even speak? Now I'll join her gossip list, and who knows who sh now does that with.
"How?!" She shrieked." How did you get here, Aholah? I warned you. I told not to be his friend. I thought we vowed to God to do only His will in Convent Faith University. This barely our second year, Aholah..."
Her words were stabbing. Who is she to judge me? I was more spiritual than her. I never missed chapel. My parents are pastors. Who is Esther to judge me?! I was going to explode.
"Esther, shut up and go!" I said in the calmest way I could, but she didn't get the message.
"Aholah, do you even remember Jesus? You loved Him…"
"Esther abeg. Just be going. Go and join the service. If they catch you, you go face SDC o"
(SDC meaning student disciplinary committee)
"Did you lose your virginity to Emmanuel? Tell me please…"
"Urgh!!!" I almost choked on my saliva.
"Leave me alone!"I pushed her and marched away. This girl no stop o. She still followed me. With the kin of fire burning inside of me I feared for her.
"Aholah, Jesus can still save you. It is not too late. No matter how…"
"Not too late? Are you crazy?" I shrieked.
She grabbed my arm. "Can we at least sit and talk?"
"No! I don't want to ever see you again. Just go. Gush! Why did I even talk to you? I swear, Esther, if I hear this from anyone, I will kill you. I will make sure I watch you die, I swear."
I didn't know who or what was talking through me. I was so out of the real world already.
"I'm sorry but please…"
"Shut up and go. I go woose you o" (I will slap you o!) I threatened, struggling to get off her stronghold.
"Jesus can fix you Aholah..."
PA!
BAM!
A slap and an unexpected fall. In seconds my ex bunkie was on, wriggling in pain.
"Not you! Not even Jesus can fix me!"
I was about to go when a security officer stopped me, and we were both arrested. I got a month's rustication for physical assault and stabbing chapel, while she was asked to clean Debby's Hostel (the name of one of the university's girls hostel) for a week.
I think that was the beginning of death for me because…
I didn't go home.
***
"You know, it's funny how we're on this campus together but only get to see once a year." She didn't wait for my reply this time, ope o (thank God o)
"Hm" I walked away, not looking back. A part of me wanting her to follow me, drag me back and ask me if I was really okay. We were only friends at 100 level, and now I think she's the only true friend I've ever had. I wish we never…
Whatever.