"Where am I…" I muttered as I walked through the cold rain in my bare feet, bruised and bleeding from the deep cuts of the gravel pathway, the small stones digging deep into my foul feet.
Looking up, I saw buildings tower over me.
The rain washed the blood from the streets.
With each step I took, blood dripped; with each splatter of blood, the rain drifted across, leaving a stream of red liquid to flow down the slight slope of the road.
What happened there, wasn't I just an average guy a few years ago, where did that all go…
Everyone wishes to be the most outstanding person in the world. But truth be told, many of us are just average, nothing more than a failure to our tall dreams.
I was just ordinary, there isn't much to say about an average guy, is there? I guess I could say I was decently popular and was pretty handsome for a mediocre guy…
What was I doing here?
Roaming the streets in my bare, glass splintered feet, in the rain with nothing but the bloodied and stinking sweat-infested T-shirt which I had worn for the past week. I regret everything now that I am standing here.
What could I have done better, what would the main character in a light novel do… But, I'm no main character; they wouldn't have ended up in a situation like this in the first place… Ah—
I had only been homeless for a couple of minutes; before that, I was still living a blissful life. Sure, it wasn't what you would imagine the word 'blissful' to be, but for me, that was more than enough.
What happened to my life… A life where I needn't to worry about anything. Despite being a fat blob shut-in with a face looking like a monster from video games, full of scars and acne…
Still, I'd say my life wasn't so bad… Sure, it wasn't the perfect one, but it's more than enough,
***
It should have been around eight… I was mid-way through my daily episode of elf hentai, one of those r*pey elf videos.
Grunts and moans from my laptop's speakers filled the room.
My relaxed body sprawled on my bed where filthy clothes and unfinished packages of chips were scattered around, my hips arched, humping the air with my laptop on my belly.
Huff. Huff. Huff— I pumped faster and faster.
I was on the edge of getting my first load off, with my back fully arched and the fapping sound of the lotion and my skin echoed in my dark room…
That's when I heard my front door slam open. Who has my key? Did I drop it somewhere? I looked over to the desk, and sure enough, my keys sat there, safe and sound.
Probably just the debt collectors… I then heard the shattering of glass and some other sounds of things breaking in my small apartment, but I couldn't care less… After a while of the sound of things breaking, some randos dressed in black barged into my room, maybe it's for my long overdue rent or something, I thought.
I saw some of them holding crowbars, and others holding baseball bats.
Even still, I basically ignored their whole thing, looking back down at my elf hentai.
Just let me jerk off in peace, fucking weirdos.
"Fuck off..." I mumbled under my breath as I continued my fapping under the blanket sheets.
Crack—
It was then that one of the men snapped my laptop, the same one on my belly. It wasn't something I'd think they dared to do, I had never thought anyone would dare to do… That triggered me. Oh yeah? Did you just break my treasured laptop? That was what rang in my mind.
I tried to throw a punch at the man who destroyed my laptop, but my motions were floppy. Throughout these 'blissful' years, I have probably gained thirty plus kilograms of just fat, not that I would know the exact amount...
I never dared to measure my weight.
My attempt to punch the man failed. It failed miserably, as he easily dodged out of the way, leaving me to tumble forward, crashing face-first into a wall next to my bedroom window.
I was slammed onto the floor.
Thud— The wooden floorboards shook under my weight.
And as multiple men came, they held me down against the wooden planks of my floor. They beat me up pretty roughly...
I felt powerless against them.
As they continued to beat me up, I had no choice but to whimper in pain while they destroyed all my belongings. In the end, I was dragged out of the house and thrown into the middle of the street with nothing but the bloodied clothes I was wearing.
"Fucking degenerate piece of shit…" One of the men muttered.
They shot looks of disgust, as if they were looking at trash. Sure, sure, I was a shaggy shut-in, but what the fuck did I even do wrong? I was going to pay back my rent sooner or later, just let me wank to my elf girl porn in peace.
…
What was done was done. I guess I don't have a home now. I just accepted that as a fact, I have no drive to fight back and get back what I have lost. Thinking back, I was pretty pathetic back there, wasn't I?
Getting thrown around and beaten up like a flabby punching bag without even the slightest chance to fight back… Rain was pouring outside, and the water on the streets was filled with gunk. Was there an oil leak somewhere?
A car sped past, skidding water as it went by. The oily gunk sprayed onto my shirt.
"Fuck you, punk!" I cursed at the driver holding up a plump middle finger at the car as it sped into the distance… To be honest, I couldn't care less about the grime splattering on my shirt, it was already pretty dirty before, a little oil adding to the mixture wouldn't change much.
What can I do now? I stood there in the middle of the footpath, the pedestrians walking by shot looks at me, revolting looks, pedestrians with kids shied away, walking on the side of the road to avoid me…
I look down at myself, my previously white anime T-shirt, now covered in blood, sweat, semen, and gunk from the sewage water, my arms and legs covered in spots of blood and patches of purplish bruise marks…
I was lookin' like something you would see in a horror movie, I think I even heard a kid say 'Frankenstein' before their parents pulled them away.
What should I do?
I knew what I could and should do; the simple answer is to find a job, then rent a room, then actually live an average civilian salaryman's life. But what I don't know is how I do this, sigh… I wish I had paid more attention in class now.
Well, according to some unreliable sources on the internet, first I should go find a job agency and give them my resume, then they will do the rest and find me a job, finally I would have to go to an interview, and if I were to be lucky, I would land the job.
I flipped my pockets out… Empty…
If I had some money, I could at least eat food from the convenience stores and last for a month. Am I just forced to be a beggar now?
I paced around the streets in the drizzle, my body soaked in the grimy junk from the sewage and the cold rainwater. "If only I could go back and restart from the beginning," I muttered as I continued to walk through the streets of Tokyo in my bare feet.
***
"Hehehe, look at you, you really got it done."
"You are giving me too much praise; I really have to thank my manager for this."
Two voices spoke; it seemed like your typical conversation, nothing really special.
Two young women were standing under the billboard.
They were both really cute.
One of them especially stood out, she had a short bob cut above her shoulder, she wore little makeup, even still, her features were defined, she was beautiful.
Seeing this sight brought back older memories.
Back in middle school, I once had a really cute girlfriend. She always wore a short bob cut above her shoulders. What I meant by cute was that she was perfect.
To me, she was a 10 out of 10. Still to this day, I can get off at least 5 times just by thinking of her face. Come to think of it, a few years ago, I heard she became a big movie star or something like that, by 'heard' I mean seeing her posts on her social media accounts.
Our relationship back then wasn't bad at all… We were together for quite a while, almost 2 years if I didn't remember wrongly.
We have known each other since we were young; we went to the same kindergarten, the same primary school, we were somewhat what they call 'childhood friends', that trope always pops up in LNs, it's always the losing heroines, though. It was not until the end of primary school that I started developing feelings for her.
First day of junior high, we were in the same class again. After a lot of thought, by a lot I mean a lot, I didn't want to lose our friendship nor did I want to miss the once in a lifetime opportunity, I was conflicted.
At the end of the day, the bell rang, and the class was dismissed.
We walked out to the locker area, where I decided I was going to do it. I mustered up all the courage I could get and confessed to her.
I was successful.
Nothing really went south throughout the relationship; there weren't any arguments, there weren't any fights, all was good.
As they say, 'all good things come to an end', and that 'end' was the end of the second year of junior high. There wasn't a big argument; it was just that her feelings slowly faded, we broke up, and that was that.
Even after we split up, our relationship was still not bad; it was back to the childhood friend stuff. Her name? Kuroi Shiina. Maybe if I had talked to her back then, I wouldn't have fallen into this hole.
"___?"
Did I just hear my name?
No way anyone recognises me, I haven't been outside in almost thirteen years.
I'm sure that the voice sounded familiar, but who?
Who would be able to recognise me?
"Is that you ___?"
I'm sure that person is talking to me, but who is that person? I scanned the surrounding area, my gaze sweeping over the large crowd of people.
In the very back, I saw her… standing beneath the biggest billboard around… There she was— Kuroi Shiina, she didn't change much, she looked pretty much the same as how I remembered, the slightly tanned skin and that mole under her left eye.
Kuroi was standing in the middle of the street, the moonlight shining off her clear, glistening skin.
Then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye, a truck speeding at high speed onto the road straight towards Kuroi. The driver of the truck was slumped over the steering wheel, his head down, asleep at the wheel.
Kuroi doesn't notice it.
"He–hey, lo–look out… look ou…"
Shit, I can't speak properly. Since becoming a shut-in, I barely speak out loud; the only time I talk is when I have to say 'thank you' to the workers at the convenience store.
My weak vocal cords can't even shout. Pathetic. Kuroi still doesn't see the truck; she just looks at me, confused at what I'm trying to say.
I knew I had to save her, she was so nice to me before, if she got splattered to paste by the truck, I'm sure I would have regretted it, and I would end up like before again.
Ah fuck it, I'll just push her out of the way. I tried to sprint at her as the truck approached us at a dangerously high speed.
The likelihood of me pushing her out of the way and dying from the truck was nearly 100%. I mean, that wouldn't be that bad. I don't even have a life worth living anymore.
I ran towards her, staggering from the pain of the bruises on my legs. I forced myself to run faster.
The headlights grew brighter as the truck approached. With all my might, I lunged forward, pushing Kuroi out of the way. My hand reached around her chest area. Yeah, that felt good. No, not the right time to think about that.
I felt a hard object push against the side of my arm. I felt my arm crack at the impact. A white flash blossoms from in front of me. Was this what dying feels like?
Is this what it feels like when my life flashes before my eyes? She's safe, right? Kuroi Shiina wasn't in the crash, right?
I wasn't dead just yet. I could still see. I felt the hard concrete floor under me. I couldn't move.
Why am I regretting everything now? I wish I could've lived a better life, one where I actually have a purpose.
Every bone in my body was probably shattered. I looked over. Kuroi was frozen in place. A bright light came closer and closer, but the truck didn't stop. I felt something heavy above me. I was pinned to the cold concrete floor. My lungs were crushed.
Blood poured everywhere, I coughed—
I closed my eyes, dried without tears.
And then I was dead.
My bad, Kuroi, you didn't have to see that.
Where am I now? A faint glow seeping through my closed eyelids.