The first week was quite confusing. Everyone was nice to me. I stopped hanging out with the boys and they are grown up now so I've got no reason to watch over them. The teachers are still cautious when it comes to my health but I think I'm fine and they don't need to worry so much. There is this guy from 9th grade. He didn't seem so important before because he was just that random guy I talk to now and then but he is so much fun to be around. His name is Aden he has similar interests as me and is so easy to get along with. I hang out with him now but nobody knows.
Amber is finally talking to me and I don't act up as much. Is life taking a turn for the best now or will I suffer right after I let my guard down? Everything is the same as before but different. The girls aren't close to me but they aren't bulling me anymore. The boys don't treat me like trash but yup can tell they still see me as trash. Ethan, Tris and Luke are a little bit more distant at school be we are still as close as ever...right? I'm always second guessing things now. I have less faith in people.
Hannah comes over constantly...it's like she doesn't even go to school. Everyday she is at the gate waiting for me. After school I now spend my time with Hannah then go home and on weekends I visit my mom and siblings. My dad said he will come visit me every month and during summer he will be here with us. Aden and I have gotten really close in the past few weeks. Ethan's mom treats me like her own and life is looking up for me. But am I happy? Why do I always have to ask myself that?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!
I always have that fear creeping in telling me this won't last long. So far since school has opened I've had up to 10 mental and emotional breakdowns. Nobody except Aden know though, I don't want to worry anyone. It doesn't seem right and I don't want to bother anyone with this. Aden said I should get a therapist so I can get better, I don't disagree with him but I do feel uncomfortable telling a complete stranger my problems...except Aden obviously.
Will I get better? Is everything going to work out in the end? I hope to one day find the answer.