---INTERVIEW – JOEY DUNPHY---
[Joey sits in his studio, meticulously organizing paintbrushes while a timelapse camera records. Buddy naps atop a finished canvas titled "Symmetry in the Static."]
JOEY: Social media's like a gas leak. You don't notice the fumes until you're high on your own hype. [Pauses, eyeing a viral tweet calling him "Van Gogh with Abs"] …At least Van Gogh didn't have to block thirst accounts.
DUNPHY GARAGE-TURNED-STUDIO – MORNING
Joey films a timelapse video: his hands sculpting a clay model of a fractured medieval castle. Sweat glistens (strategically) under studio lights. The camera pans to Buddy, now a co-star, "supervising" with a painted paw print signature.
HALEY (offscreen, directing): More brooding, less blinking! Think "tortured artist who forgot his coffee order"!
JOEY (deadpan): I'm actually tortured. Turn off the comments.
HALEY (snapping pics): No can do. Your streams are paying for my spring break.
[The video goes viral. Comments flood in:]
@ArtMom42: "His EYES dissect my SOUL 😍"@ChaosTheoryFan: "Is the castle a metaphor for you looking for a damsel in destress?!"@ThirstTrapTrisha: "DROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE 🔥"
--- INTERVIEW – PHIL DUNPHY ---
PHIL: My boy's a triple threat! Artist, heartthrob, and he unclogs drains! The Dunphy genes are unstoppable.
CHEVIOT HILLS HIGH – CAFETERIA
Lila slams her laptop, glaring at Joey's social median (10,000 followers). The group watches her spiral.
LILA: He's trending for mixing paint! Since when is PMS-285 "content"?
ZOE (plucking ukulele): "Lila's crush is a wildfire… burns her planner to ash~"
ETHAN (snorting): Jealousy's a bad look. Stick to spreadsheets.
MATT (defensive): Joey's just… being Joey.
LILA (standing): I'm better than this. [Slides a "Lila Carter: Rise of the Understudy" vision board across the table] Watch me.
--- INTERVIEW – LILA CARTER ---
LILA: I'll not be out-Dunphied by a guy who alphabetizes his sock drawer.
ACT 3: THE GRIND (AND THE GROANING)
DUNPHY HOUSE – FAMILY MEETING
Claire mediates as Joey negotiates a collab with Artisan Clothing™.
CLAIRE: They want you to design activewear? Like… yoga pants?
JOEY (cringing): "Breathable fabrics inspired by urban decay." [Mock-gags]
PHIL (grinning): Think of the exposure! [Strikes yoga pose] Downward Dunphy!
ALEX (to Haley): 92% of influencers develop messiah complexes. [Nods at Joey] Exhibit A.
LUKE (wearing Joey merch): Can I be your manager? I accept payment in Legos!
[Joey's phone pings: Lady Lava invites him to "collab" at Coachella. He yeets it into a plant. Though he liked her, they were just different people... And no way he was going to that Coachella thing]
--- INTERVIEW – CLAIRE DUNPHY ---
CLAIRE: I used to worry he'd be lonely. Now I worry he'll date multiple groupie girls... Hope he has self-control.
COMMUNITY CENTER – WEEKEND
Lila launches "Project Rebuild"—a mural revitalizing the town's graffiti-tagged library. The group "helps" (Zoe sings, Travis glues himself to a ladder).
LILA (barking orders): Travis, stop taste-testing the paint! Zoe, minor chords only!
ETHAN (mocking): Sure you're not just copying Joey's "urban decay" vibe?
LILA (cold): This is structured decay. [Pauses] …With citations.
[A reporter interviews her. Lila's "Art Shouldn't Need a Filter" soundbite trends locally.]
--- INTERVIEW – ZOE PARK ---
ZOE: Lila's like a TED Talk crossed with a drill sergeant. [Grins] We stan. We thought she was crushing on Joey and was jealous because girls were hovering over him but it turns out, she was jealous of his success.
PRITCHETT-DELGADO BACKYARD – FAMILY BBQ
All three clans unite. Jay mans the grill, Gloria forces sangria on Mitchell, and Cam choreographs a Dance video with Luke.
GLORIA (to Joey): Manny wrote you a poem! [Reads] "O brooding muse, thy T-shirts cling…"
MANNY (blushing): It's a sonnet, not a thirst trap!
MITCHELL (to Lila): Claire says you're "Joey-ing better than Joey." High praise.
LILA (stiffening): I'm not—[sees Joey watching]—fine. Maybe a little.
[Joey approaches, paint still streaked in his hair.]
JOEY: Your mural's… precise.
LILA (defensive): "Precise" isn't an insult.
JOEY (smirking): Wasn't one. [Tosses her a "Project Rebuild" pin] You forgot your logo.
--- INTERVIEW – JAY PRITCHETT ---
JAY: Kids today. Back in my day, we proved ourselves with fists, not hashtags. [Pauses]… Still proud of 'em.
--- FINAL SCENE ---
The families gather around Lila's mural. Joey adds a hidden detail: a tiny Dunphy house in the corner. Claire snaps a photo captioned "Our Masterpiece." Viral within minutes.
[Post-credits: Buddy hijacks Joey's stream Live, chewing a "Chaos Coordinator" hat as fans donate to a "Save the Sock Drawer" fundraiser.]
POST-CREDITS INTERVIEW – BUDDY
[A viral clip of Buddy howling along to Zoe's song. Text overlay: "CEO of CHAOS 🐾"]