"Smokey, you've gotta trust me," Joseph told his best buddy, Smokey Brown, telling him all about his brunch date. "He was soooo gorgeous. Like, agh! I couldn't stop staring at him. Jeez, I must've looked stupid staring at him the whole time."
Smokey stared at him. This has happened 1…2…about 3 million times. Where Joseph is like, Ohmygawd Smokey! They're like so cute! I think it's gonna work out this time!! And as you can tell, it never worked out those times.
"Mhm. You know, you said the same thing about…" Smokey arched his eyebrow and put a finger on his temple, "What's his face…oh yeah! Fucking Todd? I will never get over the fact that you even fell for a guy named Todd."
"Fuck off, Smokey." Joseph smacked his shoulder, "I swear it's different. Caesar is different. He doesn't seem like the Todd type. He's a sweet guy. He bought me food!"
"Alright. But do you even know how old he is?" Smokey asked. He was not going to watch JoJo go through another Todd type of guy. So, they created a list of questions. The Todd Check. The Todd check is a list of all of the shit that was wrong with Todd to make sure that the next person that Joseph dates isn't an asshole.
The first thing was age. JoJo met Todd through Smokey's friend who had a friend who knew a guy, that guy being Todd. The friend said that Todd was around JoJo's age (JoJo was 16). So, when Joseph made his merry way to the cinema where they would meet, he saw Todd for the first time. A middle aged man who had a receding hairline.
"Mhm, he's 20." Joseph answered. Smokey nodded. Off to a great start.
"Alright, alright. 2 year age gap, not bad." Next on the list; style. "What was he wearing?"
Todd. Oh, Todd. He dressed like that one pervy history teacher that most people have had. He only wore collared shirts and sweater vests on their dates. Oh, yeah. JoJo went on 5 more dates with him. Poor kid. He also only wore cargo shorts and waterproof hiking shoes. What did Joseph see in him? I don't even know.
"He was wearing this gray button up and some black jeans with his apron. Gosh, the jeans brought out his ass. He looked beautiful." Joseph described him. "Oh, and did I mention that he actually had a full head of hair?"
"Hehe. Anyways. That's nice." Smokey smiled. "But what about the way he acted? Todd like or nah?"
Todd was nice at first. He was kind of creepy but sweet. He would use pet names with Joseph even though they had only known each other for 15 minutes. Not super bad. But it gets worse. On one of their 5 dates, Todd invited Joseph to a restaurant. Once the bill came, Todd said that he would pay for it. So Joseph wasn't going to pass on that since it was really expensive. But then Todd was saying how now he can tell that Joseph is only using him because Joseph didn't pay the bill.
So obviously, Joseph got a bit mad with him. "I mean, you literally offered to pay for it. If its that much of an issue, then let me cover half of it." But Todd insisted that he would pay for all of it. "No, I'll pay. But I do not want to be used like this anymore. You should have offered, not me." JoJo tried his hardest not to scream at him, but they ended the night there.
"Not like Todd at all." Joseph said confidently. "Caesar owns the place. It's named after him. And he was super sweet! He gave me free food the entire time. Honestly, I feel like he's also into me."
"Yeah, but don't get your hopes so pumped up." Smokey told him. And he had a point. You don't just assume that somebody is in love with you when they give you free food.
"Gosh, Smokey," Joseph whined, "Why can't you just be happy for me? I found somebody that I like, who isn't an asshole by the way, and you're just picking at everything about him
"I just don't want to see you go through all of that again," Smokey raised his voice at him, slightly, "Do you know how much it pained me to see you get hurt like that? You were heartbroken after Todd. And it wasn't just him. It was all of them. The ones that would build up your confidence and mood to a peak and just end it. I'm sorry that I'm so nitpicky, but I just want to see you be happy…"
Smokey took a deep breath. He just had to get that all out. He then realized that he wasn't even looking at Joseph the entire time. So he looked at him. The bitch was sobbing. "Smokey…hic I love you so much! I'm sorry that I just jumped to a conclusion…hic but I love you so much…hic!"
Joseph hugged Smokey. Not hugged, more like tackled him. He rubbed his snot lovingly all over Smokey's sweatshirt.
-
The next morning, JoJo woke up but the sun wasn't burning his eyes. He knew that it was too early. But he couldn't help himself. He really wanted to see Caesar again. And since Joseph Joestar has no self control, he called Caesar. Called him. At 7:36 in the morning.
Once he heard it ring, he realized what he was doing. If you ever need to wake yourself up, pull a Joseph Joestar and call your crush at the asscrack of dawn. He was about to hang up when he heard a voice that sounded like the most beautiful thing ever.
"Hello?"
JoJo's heart fluttered. Or sank, he couldn't tell the difference.
"Oh, uh, hi! It's me, Joestar. I mean, Joseph! From the coffee shop. Well, you probably meet a lot of people…but um, it's me! The one you gave your number to…that's why I'm calling…"
Caesar giggled. "Mhm. Well, I remember you. It's awfully early to be calling, no?"
"Oh, yeah! Sorry, I was just up and bored so…"
"Do you want to come to the cafe? I'm gonna leave, like, right now."
"Sure, I don't see why not." Said Joseph, who was acting as though he wasn't going to sob if Caesar didn't invite him.
"Alright then, see you there, Joestar."
Caesar hung up. Joseph actually squealed. He got dressed in clothing that made him look "Studying at a Cafe" type of cute. But he made sure to keep it lowkey. As he was about to head out, Granny Erina stopped him.
"Being productive today? What's got you up so early?" She said, with her hands on her hips, menacingly.
"I'm going to meet somebody. I'll be back!" Joseph tried to end the conversation. He failed of course.
"Somebody? Oh, I see," Erina chuckled, "Somebody, huh? Well, be careful. My 'Somebody' was your grandfather. Who knows, maybe this 'Somebody' might make you not so unhappy anymore."
"Granny, honestly. He's…just a friend."
"Mhm. Use protection, JoJo sweetie-"
"Pardon?"
"It's best that you get going."
-
Joseph opened the door to the cafe and was bombarded by the sweet and comforting scent of fresh baked goods and coffee. Not only that, but Caesar was behind the counter, cleaning the countertop.
He looked up, his eyes meeting Joseph's. Joseph tried not to scream.
"Well if it isn't Mr. Joestar. Are you hungry?" Caesar asked him, offering him a bagel. Joseph never mentioned it to him, but he is actually lactose intolerant. So the bagel and hot chocolate he had last time made him blast off like a rocketship when he went home. But of course, how could he say no to such an angel?
"Starving."
-
Caesar made Joseph an omelet. He got himself a croissant filled with chocolate. "So," Caesar said as he munched on his food, "Where are you from?"
"I was born in the U.K," Answered Joseph, gracefully with a mouthful of omelet. "But I came here not too long ago."
"Hm, I figured. With your accent and all." Joseph became flushed. Smokey mocked his accent a bunch. "Top of the mornin' to you, lad! Would you fancy a cup of tea? Cheerio!" Joseph had a stone face when Smokey had said such atrocities. "Oh, not that it's bad or anything. It's quite cute."
JoJo gasped a little. He then became as red as a tomato. "Gosh, don't say things like that out of the blue!" Joseph covered his face, playfully. And Caesar smiled at him, with slightly flushed cheeks and, maybe Joseph's just delusional, but he swore he saw a special look in his eyes.
"Well, uh, where are you from?" Joseph shifted the conversation. Caesar looked up at him as he drank his cup of coffee.
"I'm from Italy." He responded quietly. It was as though bringing up Italy had darkened the room. Caesar scratched the back of his head. "It wasn't…nice over there. So I came here 2 years ago to…erm, live a more…peaceful and simple life."
Their eyes locked. Joseph didn't like the way he was describing his old life. It was like, there was some sort of evil to it. Caesar caught onto that. "Well, as peaceful and simple a life can be when you own and run a cafe all by yourself." He chuckled.
Joseph awkwardly laughed. "Yeah…Sorry for bringing that up. I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable, then I won't bring it up anymore." Caesar softly gazed at him.
"That would be nice." He said, in a small voice.
They sat there, in complete and utter silence. Everything seemed so fragile right then and there. Like it could all just break. The silence, the scene, Caesar, it could all just crack if you even breathed too hard.
Well, that precious moment came crashing down when a customer came inside.
Caesar got up, flustered and greeting the customer. "Uhm, Joseph. Would you like to help?" Caesar asked as he got behind the counter, "You know, just taking the customers their orders?"
Joseph nodded, aching for time to be able to go back 3 minutes. Just so he can experience their shared silence once more. Just to be able to gaze at him once more. Just to be able to feel that alive once more.
Their time was running out. As much as Joseph hated that, he felt deep down in his heart that their time together was going to be cut short. It was horrible. Like a disaster was just waiting to pounce at them once they are happy.
Joseph came back to reality when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "JoJo? You alright? Take this to table 3, it's in the corner." Caesar pointed at the man who was seated at the table.
Joseph nodded, and took the cup of hot chocolate to the customer. "Your hot chocolate, sir-" The man grabbed JoJo's wrist as he began to walk away. Joseph was about to scream at him, but he spoke.
"You say one word," The man growled at him, in a low voice. "Make one noise, or alert Caesar in any way, you're both fucking dead."