From morning till dusk…
Leonardo, Nicholson, and Matt Damon tried every possible way, but none of their methods could get past the blockade of female guards.
In the end, exhausted and frustrated, the trio gave up. These three lonely men wandered into the dining hall on the first floor and asked a waiter to bring them something to eat.
That's when they heard a group of crewmates at a nearby round table chatting animatedly.
"It's true! I saw the girls go in one by one, then come out flushed and radiant, immediately joining the ranks of the female guards."
"Martin must have some kind of secret technique. Shame we can't see what's going on in there."
"Yeah, some kind of special skill. That's what I think too. If only I could learn it!"
"You're too skinny. Even if there is a special technique, you'd need a strong body to handle it. I think I could manage. Hey, what do you guys think—if I asked Martin to take me as a disciple, would he agree?"
Disciple?
Leonardo, Nicholson, and Matt Damon exchanged glances, clearly seeing the temptation in each other's eyes.
Leonardo rubbed his chin, thinking, I heard Martin likes Europe culture. Maybe I could try the whole tea ceremony thing… hmm… do I need to kneel? Should I go for it?
Nicholson's eyes gleamed as they darted around. I wonder if Martin's technique is something an old man like me can even handle. But if it is, I wouldn't mind becoming his disciple either!
Matt Damon mused, I'd better start working even harder for Martin. Maybe one day, when he's in a good mood, he'll teach his ultimate move to his favorite subordinate… Yeah, sounds totally possible!
Meanwhile, the crew at the table kept chatting.
"What about the captain? Why's the first officer at the helm?"
"Taking a break, apparently. Heard his heart condition flared up!"
"Heh, the bridge is on the fourth floor, after all!"
"Martin must've pushed the old man over the edge. Even though we can't see what's actually going on in there, just watching one beauty after another go in and come out is enough of a tease. Not to mention the sounds."
"Poor old Bruce!"
After dinner, the trio couldn't help but wander to the foredeck, then up the gangway to the second floor.
Seeing more and more female guards—and hearing that strange chorus of wild and varied noises—the same thought popped into all three minds:
Yeah… even just listening is pretty damn exciting. No wonder the old captain's heart gave out!
They lingered there for a while, and all three were practically trembling with excitement.
At last, the daylong marathon reached its finale.
Fifty female guards lined up into two neat rows, forming a pathway that led to the end—where Martin lounged lazily on a deck chair.
He wore beach shorts, a fake crown, and a red silk cloth—who knows where he got it—draped around his shoulders like a royal cape!
He pointed at Leonardo, Nicholson, and Matt Damon, his expression suddenly serious. "Bring these three intruders before me!"
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
Several female guards stepped forward.
For some reason, Leonardo felt a sudden pang of fear—as if he really were facing a king and his loyal guards.
The atmosphere was on point.
One glance to either side confirmed it: both Matt Damon and Nicholson looked just as tense.
"Fuck… this roleplay Martin cooked up really feels legit. Way more fun than my pirate-and-slave-girl games!"
Despite the nerves, Nicholson couldn't help but wonder what Martin was going to do with them next.
The three didn't resist and let the female guards lead them before Martin.
Martin eyed them with a regal air. "Intruders—where do you come from?"
Leonardo and Matt Damon were dumbfounded, unsure how to respond.
Luckily, Nicholson had experience. He quickly stepped up, "We come from Azure Blue Star. Our spaceship ran out of energy, and we had no choice but to make an emergency landing in your nation. We mean no harm!"
Martin nodded. "Very well. But since you've entered my kingdom, you are now my subjects. You will obey me—or suffer the consequences."
Nicholson immediately picked up on Martin's hidden meaning. This game was getting more and more interesting. "And if we obey?"
"You will be rewarded."
"What kind of reward?" Matt Damon jumped in—he'd caught on too.
"These women," Martin said, gesturing to the guards beside him.
The women were eyeing the trio like hungry wolves.
Leonardo jumped in too. "Your Majesty, what would you have us do?"
"My guards and I are hungry."
"I'll get the kitchen to prepare dinner right away," Nicholson said.
"We'll also need fine wine to go with it."
"I'm on it! I'll find the ship's bartender," Matt Damon offered.
"Food and drink are nice, but what about some dancing to spice things up?"
"Uh—" Leonardo froze, just about to speak but suddenly choking on his words.
Swish!
Fifty-three pairs of eyes snapped toward Leonardo.
He suddenly felt a chill. He didn't even know what "death by staring" was—but instinctively, he stammered, "Sh-should I… offer my enchanting dance to entertain His Majesty?"
"Good boy."
Martin stood up, extended his right hand with royal flair, and pointed forward. "Let us proceed to the dining hall!"
Matt Damon, caught up in the act, immediately bowed low and hurried to Martin's side, offering his arm. "Allow me to assist Your Majesty!"
"Damn it! That bastard beat me to it!" Nicholson cursed internally.
Leonardo didn't even care about any of that. All he could think about was—what kind of dance should he do later?
He'd figured it out: if he didn't impress Martin tonight, there'd be no meat on his plate.
At the dining hall, Nicholson and Matt Damon ran off to alert the chefs and bartender, while Leonardo sidled up to Martin and whispered, "Fuck, man—this whole thing's insane!"
Martin whispered back, "Yeah, but tell me—does it feel real or not?"
Leonardo nodded. "Too real! When you guys were staring me down earlier, I actually felt like I was about to get executed for defiance!"
"Way better than that old man's pirate-maid routine, huh?"
"Hell yeah, no contest!"
"In that case, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be off preparing your royal dance performance for me?"
"Ugh—yes, Your Majesty! Right away!"
As Leonardo retreated, he couldn't help but wonder, Damn… is this guy's ability to switch moods on a dime the secret to his ridiculous acting talent?
That night's dinner was a blast for Martin. Not only did Nicholson and Matt Damon wait on him hand and foot, but he also got to enjoy Leonardo's ahem flamboyant dancing.
[TL/N: Gay!]
And in the end, all three men were granted Martin's generous "reward"—three stunning women each to take back to their rooms.
Yes, you read that right—three per person.
The next morning, Nicholson's legs were still shaking.
Well, the man was getting on in years…