(AN 1: You should go read my new novel, Danganronpa: Media Madness.)
(AN 2:Go read In My Hero Academia with a Jujutsu Kaisen Gacha System)
(AN 3: I edited James' reward in the Gifts chapter from aura strike to moldy; also, his canonical height is 5'7)
(AN 4: Please comment, your thoughts about this story matter to me much more than power stones)
(Heaven)
"Honey-bunch, we're getting called on a mission." A low and even tone sounded out from the front door. An angel came in, his white suit shining and complimenting his lean and white skin along with his pitch-black hair.
"Already? We just went on one last month, don't we get time to relax?" A flamboyant-sounding man said, lying on the white couch watching TV. He wore a large, bright-pink unicorn onesie as he stretched out, not looking back at the other angel.
"Michael said that we'll get a new bed if we take this one—"
"Say less, Cass." Suddenly, the onesie-wearing angel was immediately in front of the other one, a serious expression on his face. " What do we gotta do, huh? Cull some souls again, or something like that?" The man walked towards the kitchen, looking in the refrigerator and grabbing a snack while talking.
"No, Ramiel. Our mission would be to kill only a single soul in hell. The information is unclear, but we'll get more tomorrow at 7:30." Ramiel raised an eyebrow "We? Cassiel, Michael hates me; why would he want me coming along with you?"
Cassiel creeps up behind Ramiel, tucking his arms by his waist and hugging him from behind, putting his face in the crook of Ramiel's olive-skinned neck. "I told him I wouldn't go without you, love." Ramiel gained a golden blush on his face as he rubbed it against Cassiel's. "You know what happens when you use that British accent on me." He whines out as Cassiel lets out a hearty laugh.
(AN: Shoutout to the gays, I know y'all need some representation.)
(Hell)
"Are we in heaven? Cuz I think an angel just came to our doorstep." James said, helping Angel Dust up while desummoning Tiger Funeral. "Ladies and… well, ladies, please welcome our new permanent femboy resident: Angel Dust!"
Angel scoffed and rubbed the dirt out of his suit. "Look, Darkside, nothing's set in stone, okay? The only reason why I came back to this place with the freaky clown bitch, the freaky maid bitch, and the freaky grey bitch is because this damn tiger just kidnapped me." James quickly transformed into his Heian era state and wrapped an arm around Angel's shoulders. "And what were you doing before Tiger Funeral saved you?"
Angel quickly became silent, crossing his arms and looking away. "...I don't want to talk about it." Sensing Angel's discomfort, James quickly played it off with a shrug of his arms and went back to his original form. "Look, I didn't mean to brush up on some tough topics, but c'mon, Angel, do you really want to go back to your limp-dick bitch of a pimp or kick it with the happy few?"
The room went silent as Angel stood there with his arms crossed, debating whether or not he should stay. He clenched his fist, closing his eyes in contemplation. "...Fine, I'll stay. But if any single one of you bitches tries to murder me in my sleep, I swear to god I'll burn this place to the ground."
James flicked up some finger guns at Angel, walking backward into the group. "Alright, Charlie, go ahead and give the grand tour to our new guest; you can probably explain it better than me anyways." Charlie squealed and quickly took Angel down a hall, talking his ear off about the hotel on the way.
'Man, Angel's probably going to be listening to her talk for a few hours; I hope his brain can adapt to trying to keep up with her questions… Wait a minute. Adapt… Angel… Holy shit, I'm so damn stupid'. James came to a slow realization as he stood, his eyes slowly closing as he gave himself a loud facepalm. "Hey, guys, I'm going to go outside for a few hours; let me know if something else comes up."
"But master, you already went outside with me about ten minutes ago." Amery stated, a faint hint of confusion in her eyes. "I know, I know, but I just realized something that should've been obvious. Look, I'll come back in an hour or two; don't start dinner without me!" He said as he quickly exited the hotel.
"...Master works in very mysterious ways. I will look for a room for myself and fall asleep; goodbye." Amery says as she starts to walk away, only being stopped by Vaggie grabbing her shoulder. "Hey, I know this may not be my place, but why are you so distant from everybody? If James is really your master, I'd expect you to be cracking jokes with everyone else all the time."
Amery stopped in her tracks, looking down for a moment before raising her head back up. "Master has given me the opportunity to feel when I couldn't before; I am still figuring out how to be human like you." And with those last words, Amery started to walk down the long hall before she awkwardly walked back to just go in the first door.
"Why do you think she wants a new room all of a sudden? I thought she was just happy sleeping with you guys." Vaggie asked Nifty, who simply shrugged her shoulders. "Like hell if I know; maybe a new sense of independence or something? Even then, I'm not complaining."
(Scene change: Outskirts of the hotel)
'I can't believe I was really this damn dumb! Hell, I even said I was going to do it. What the hell happened to me?' James ranted in his head as he walked in the hill area outside the hotel. 'Whatever, can't do anything about it now; I just have to roll with the punches and do what I came to do.'
'In JJK, Sukuna somehow saw and developed a technique that could cut space itself by watching Mahoraga in action, and I, with the technique in my hands and the literal six eyes, didn't think of that? Am I stupid? Whatever, I'll try it out right now with a small bit of insurance.' James stopped in his tracks and stared into the sky. 'Binding vow: In exchange for being able to direct Mahoraga's adaptation, his speed will decrease by 10%. '
James felt a familiar chain wrap around his heart and knew the binding vow had taken place before putting his hands into a familiar position. "With this treasure I summon Eight-handled Sword Divergent Sila Divine General Mahoraga." Through James' shadow, a familiar tall white figure with wings for his 2 pairs of eyes emerged.
"Yo, Mahoraga, can you understand me?" James asked, turning around to face the divine general, who nodded. "Cool, I need you to do me a favor. Hit me until you can hit my soul; that is what you will be adapting to, understand?" The divine general nodded and quickly swiped the blade on its arm at James.
He quickly blocked. 'Doesn't Mahoraga have reverse cursed energy running through his blade? It should be healing me, right? Is it because of hell's climate or something else?' He questioned in his mind, quickly getting his head back into the game as he used earthbending to root his feet into the ground. He slightly cracked open his eyes, their red sheen gazing upon the form of Mahoraga.
Mahoraga struck James with a barrage of strikes, bombarding his body with his entire weight, sometimes being interrupted with sword strikes. As he hit James, the six-eyed user studied Mahoraga's cursed energy very closely to see how he'd adapt to a soul. 'It seems like Raga's cursed energy is gathering at his eyes for some reason—'
CLANK
'It shifted to the wheel almost immediately!?' James thought with a shocked expression as Mahoraga hit him once more; this time, James almost opened his eyes with shock. 'Shit, that's weird! I feel like I'm getting hit everywhere at once.' He gritted his teeth and prepared for another strike. 'Even so, I can tell this isn't the furthest he can go.'
He crossed his arms and prepared for the barrage of punches Mahoraga unleashed on him, the six eyes and his natural brain processing everything he saw about Mahoraga's cursed energy. Soon he started to not feel the pain; his entire being was in a state of the zone, simply processing information piece by piece until his eyes fully snapped open, catching Mahoraga's punch.
"That's enough for today, Raga; I understand it now." He waited until Mahoraga nodded before desummoning him and summoning round deer in his place, healing him. 'Let's hope soul wounds heal like physical ones. I'll be mad as hell if I have to suffer from a bleeding soul until I figure out how to heal it.'
He looked up and saw Hell's sky being a slightly darker hue of red. 'Damn, it looks like I was in the flow state or something; it's like nighttime now.' He looked down at his arm; instead of simply seeing his arm very well, he saw channels of energy flowing through him, supplied to every part of his body, yet under that was something deeper.
Below the cursed energy channels was a swampy green liquid rolling around James' body with a sinister black hue. He moved his arm up and down, studying the liquid. 'It looks like this is my soul, huh? I thought it would be blue or something; why is it green? Oh well, whatever, I have to get some sleep… Right after I do something'. A grin grew on his face as he desummoned round deer and went inside.
"Oh, yeah, my six eyes are open!' He thought with excitement. 'It looks like with me advancing my understanding of cursed energy, it filters the six eyes to a level I can manage… Though, I wonder.' He looked around the empty lobby and focused on his eyes being able to see more. Almost immediately, the original problem with the six eyes appeared; information flooded his brain as he quickly turned it back off. 'Okay, never doing that again until I'm a supercomputer or something.' He thought as he walked down the hall.
'If I know Angel well enough, even if I didn't see him go inside, he should be in here.' He stopped in front of door 69. 'Nice.' And gently pried the door open, revealing Angel Dust lying on his stomach, snoring loudly. 'Damn, his curves are out of this world; I can probably bounce a quarter off of his ass—' He lightly smacked himself on the cheek. 'No, Bad James! Don't leer at the abuse victim while he's asleep! Especially when you have a girlfriend.'
He shook his head and leaned down near Angel's chest and focused his vision on it, eventually seeing a pink liquid in his chest somehow contained by layers and layers of chains. He looked around and saw that the chain was connected to the wall and outside of the building.
He slowly gets up and walks towards the chain, bending over to study its every detail. Although it seemed solid, upon further inspection it was simply liquid compacted into a very chain-like state.
"Well, here are all the marbles, I guess.' James thought as he raised his hand in front of the chain, making a finger gun. "James's original technique: Soul Cutting Slash." He intoned softly, a near-invisible dismantle coming from his fingertip and snapping the chain in half after a brief moment of effort
. The chain flopped on the floor, like a snake trying to survive, its disgusting essence leaking on the floor, trying to stay alive until it eventually just disappeared, almost like it was never there in the first place.
He looked over at Angel Dust, studying his reactions. Angel flipped over to his side, mumbling something in his sleep before getting quiet again. 'I guess I'll find out in the morning if that worked or if I just tickled Valentino's balls, but I really just need some sleep right now.' He yawned as he walked out, slowly closing Angel's door, seeing a smile on his sleeping face before he left.
He let out a yawn as he climbed the stairs, his tired eyes taking in every detail of the stairs before heading to the fourth floor and his room, 420. He opened the door to see a very surprising sight.
Not only was Amery not in the bed, but Nifty was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and completely naked. Her arms were crossed underneath her large breasts as she looked at James with a smirk.
"You know, I saw the way you looked at that porn star… Well, you turned your head at him." James tried to sputter out a reply but was silenced by Nifty walking up to him and putting her hand on his chin, her fingers circling his lips, clearly relishing in his embarrassment. "Shhhh. All I wanted to know is why you never looked at me like that."
She took his hand and slowly led him to the bed, gently pushing him on the bed before crawling on top of him, getting very close to his bright red face, enveloping him in a deep kiss, while tugging at his clothes.
"It's okay, James. We have all night to make up for it~"
James let out a deep gulp,yet couldn't help himself from grinning as he kissed back.
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(The End)
(Shameless plug: Ko-fi.com/mrlegantrop)
Good grief, how'd I end up in some trashy fanfic? - Saiki K Kusuo