Okay, I definitely wasn't dreaming.
I stared at the cracked wooden door in front of me like it was my only lifeline in this nightmare.
"Think, Jin. Think..." I muttered to myself. "I'm in some bugged game, I'm broke, and I have 0 gold. Zero. Not even enough for a loaf of bread. And I have NO skills. Oh, and I'm an NPC. A useless NPC. GREEEAT."
I had to be losing it, right? There's no way this could be real.
I wasn't even in the game's story. Not as a side character, not as a random villager, not even as a background guy. No. I was the background NPC—the one who stands there and does absolutely nothing. And not only that, I was too broke to even make a living in this weird medieval world.
"HAHAHA. This is my life now," I groaned.
I stepped outside my shack—calling it a house would be an insult to houses—and was immediately greeted by a beautiful, over-the-top fantasy town. The kind you see in every single harem rom-com. Stone-paved roads, charming medieval buildings, cute market stalls selling bread that I couldn't afford, and—of course—
A bunch of girls running down the street, all screaming Haruto's name like he was some kind of god.
"KYAAA~!! HARUTO-SAMA~!""PLEASE MARRY ME!""FIGHT ME FIRST!!"
I blinked. Oh, right. This was the harem rom-com world. It was happening. It was real.
And then… just to make sure I got the point, a game notification popped up.
[Main Story Route has started! The Hero, Haruto, is destined to become the strongest warrior and win the hearts of many heroines!]
[You are not Haruto.]
I stared at the notification. For a solid minute.
"You've gotta be kidding me. I'm not Haruto?" I said aloud, half laughing, half crying. "No. Seriously. This is my life now?!"
Instead of screaming, like I really wanted to, I just turned around, walked back inside my shack, and slammed the door.
"Not my problem," I muttered under my breath, staring at the dirt floor like it was the only thing that made sense.
But nope. The game wasn't done with me yet. It just had to make sure I knew that.
Another notification flashed up in front of me.
[Event Triggered: Hero's Call!]
[The Hero, Haruto, is in danger and requires your assistance!]
"Are you kidding me?!" I yelled. "No. No way."
Then another message appeared. Like the game was reading my mind.
[You have been selected as the Hero's "Sidekick"! Please assist Haruto in his quest to win the hearts of all heroines!]
I blinked. "SIDEKICK?! I'm not even part of the plot! I'm just a random guy who happens to live in the same town! How the hell am I the sidekick?!"
I slammed the door again, but nope, the notifications kept coming.
[WARNING: Failure to assist the Hero may result in penalties. Your fate is now tied to his journey.]
"Penalties? What the hell does that even mean?" I groaned, throwing myself back onto the dirt floor. "I just wanted to chill, man. I didn't ask for this... stupid, bugged mess."
But it didn't matter. The game—or whatever the heck was controlling this weird world—wasn't listening.
And I was pretty sure my fate was already sealed.
I stared at the door in defeat, just wishing I could block out all the system messages. But, nope. The game had other plans.
Ding!
[System Update: New Quest Available!]
I groaned, barely lifting my head off the ground to see what fresh hell the game was about to throw at me.
[Quest: Assist the Hero, Haruto, in his journey to win the hearts of the heroines! Reward: 1000 Gold!]
Wait. Did I read that right?
"Hold up. You're offering me... a thousand gold?" I blinked at the message, trying to process it. "A thousand gold?! What kind of scam is this?"
I rubbed my temples, but the pop-up just hovered there, taunting me like an annoying little sibling.
[Quest: Assist the Hero, Haruto, in his journey to win the hearts of the heroines! Reward: 1000 Gold!]
Okay, the system was literally bribing me with gold. A whole thousand, apparently. That's a lot in this world, right? I mean, I didn't know the exchange rate, but I was pretty sure it was way more than my pathetic "0 gold" balance.
But… that's how it always works, doesn't it? "Do this thing, get a reward!" Too bad I wasn't stupid enough to fall for the "help the hero" trap.
I waved the notification away, not caring anymore. "Not gonna do it. I'm not gonna help some harem protagonist get all the girls. Nope. Not my problem."
Then, just as I was about to lay back down, another notification popped up. Of course.
[System Update: New Offer!]
I rolled my eyes. "Here we go again..."
[Offer: For 500 Gold, you can skip the quest and receive a 'Hero-Free' Lifestyle! Enjoy a peaceful life without the hassle of being involved in Haruto's mess!]
...Wait. What?
"Hold up! Now you're telling me I can just pay my way out of this?!"
I leaned forward, staring at the offer. This was new. This was... too easy.
500 Gold for a "Hero-Free" lifestyle? That sounded suspiciously like the system was trying to buy me off. The price was low enough that I could almost afford it with a little time and effort. I could get some gold, buy a house, live in peace, and avoid getting involved in all this chaotic romance drama.
"Too good to be true, right?" I muttered. "This is either a scam or some sick joke. But… maybe I could just… not get involved?"
I rubbed my chin, pondering. But before I could make a decision, the system seemed to sense my hesitation.
[System Update: New Offer!]
[Offer: For 1000 Gold, skip ALL of Haruto's drama for the ENTIRE game! Live the life of your choosing in peace and comfort!]
"Wait. Now you're talking!" I said, grinning at the new offer. "That's more like it."
One thousand gold for a peaceful life, away from the mess. That was it. This was my chance to escape without getting tangled up in any of this ridiculous love drama.
But then…
[System Update: Special Deal! If you assist Haruto in the next 10 minutes, you'll receive an additional 1000 Gold as a bonus!]
I froze.
"Seriously? Are you actually trying to bribe me now?"
[System Update: Your hesitation is noted. Please make a decision. Time remaining: 9 minutes 47 seconds.]
"No. No, no, no." I groaned. "I'm not falling for this. You can't just throw money at me and expect me to jump into the plot like some kind of idiot."
But the gold… the peaceful life... it was tempting.
I sighed, glancing at the timer. "Fine. I'll think about it. But no way am I helping that harem idiot just to get a few gold coins. I've got principles, man."
I stared at the timer ticking down, finger hovering over the "accept" button. Man, it was real tempting. I mean, 1000 gold? That'd set me up for life in this stupid world. No more shitty shack, no more hunger. Just... peace.
"Alright, alright," I muttered, caving in. "I'll do it. I'll help this idiot hero just for the gold. But after that, I'm done. No more hero shit, no more romance drama. I'm out."
Ding!
[Quest Accepted: Help the Hero, Haruto, win the hearts of the heroines.]
I groaned, rubbing my temples. This was a horrible idea. But hey, 1000 gold. I just gotta survive long enough to get paid, then I'm disappearing into the void.
Stepping outta my shack, I spotted Haruto—or well, the "hero"—standing in the square, looking like a total mess. His hair, which was way too shiny for someone who was supposed to be an adventurer, caught the sunlight as he awkwardly scratched his head.
"Haruto," I muttered, walking over. "You better be worth this."
Before I could even say anything, the game decided to glitch out. No, seriously, it glitched.
Ding!
[Bug Detected: Haruto's Heroic Pose Glitch Activated!]
I blinked. "Uh. What?"
Haruto, in the middle of trying to look all "cool" and heroic, froze. His arm shot out, fingers splayed like he was trying to pose, but his body started jerking around. It was like someone hit the wrong button in a game.
He twisted. Arm up. Full spin. Then, suddenly—BAM!—he face-planted into a market stall.
"Wha—?!"
The whole stall exploded, bread flying everywhere. Haruto ended up in a heap of overturned crates, bread, and confused NPCs.
"…Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen," I mumbled, looking around.
[Bug Detected: Haruto's Heroic Pose caused market destruction. Impact to nearby NPCs: Severe.]
"Really?!" I yelled, staring at the system message. "I agreed to help, and this is what I get? Why is the 'hero' having a bug in his first appearance?!"
Haruto was laying there, face-first in a pile of bread, looking so lost.
"Ughhh... what just happened?!" He groaned, pushing himself up, bread crumbs stuck in his hair.
"Guess the game thought your 'heroic pose' was too heroic," I said dryly, shaking my head. "You just broke reality, man."
Haruto blinked, eyes wide. "You saw that? Was I... supposed to do that?"
I stared at him, deadpan. "Of course, you were. You're the hero. You do heroic stuff. Just... not whatever the hell that was. You literally glitched out."
Haruto rubbed his head. "Great. What else is bugged? Does the harem work? Do I—?"
"Hold up. Hold up." I held up my hand like I was trying to stop a speeding truck. "I don't care about your harem. I'm just here for the gold. Let's get this over with before something else explodes."
Ding!
[Bug Detected: Haruto's "Hero's Charm" ability has malfunctioned! All female NPCs within 50 meters now inexplicably fall in love with him!]
I groaned, facepalming. "You've gotta be kidding me."
From all around us, screams of "KYAAA! HARUTO-SAMA!" filled the air. I watched in pure disbelief as an army of girls—some of 'em selling bread, some just minding their business—suddenly started flocking to him like he was some kinda walking love magnet.
"Um... okay. This is a little more than I signed up for," Haruto muttered, backing away slowly as the girls surrounded him.
One girl swooned, dramatically falling into his arms. "Haruto-sama, I've been waiting for you!"
Another one, clutching a loaf of bread like a weapon, shouted, "I love you! You're my hero!"
"…Do I really look like that much of a prize?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, you look like a walking glitch," I muttered to myself, staring at the scene.
"Okay, let's just get this quest over with," I said, grabbing Haruto by the arm and yanking him away from the crowd of love-struck girls. "You're not even trying to be the hero, and now you've got a harem of NPCs thanks to a system bug. Congrats, man. You broke the game."
This whole thing was a mess.
But if I was gonna survive this chaos, one thing was certain: I'd need a hell of a lot more than 1000 gold.
I barely had time to process what was going on when it all went downhill real fast.
Ding!
[Bug Detected: NPCs within a 50-meter radius think NPC Jin Miyamoto is trying to steal Haruto's affections!]
"Wait, WHAT?!" I was already facepalming so hard I nearly dislocated my shoulder. "Steal Haruto's affections?!"
Before I could even wrap my head around that, the girls started turning their heads, like... like they were all staring at me like I was some kind of enemy.
"KYAA! WHO IS THIS GUY?!" one girl yelled, her eyes wide, looking at me like I was a monster or something.
"He's trying to take Haruto-sama from us!!" another one screamed, and the next thing I knew, they were all coming at me like a mob of wild animals.
"What? No!! I'm not—!" I tried to explain, but they weren't having it.
"STAY AWAY FROM HARUTO-SAMA YOU SCUMBAG!" one of them shouted, pulling out a loaf of bread like it was some kind of weapon. A BREAD WEAPON. What was I supposed to do, block it with my face?
I was just staring at them like, Is this a joke? Is this a bug?!
And Haruto, totally oblivious to everything happening around him, was just standing there like he'd never seen a girl not chasing him.
"Uh, you're in the way..." one girl hissed, holding a rolling pin now. Like, is she gonna bake me or beat me with it? It was honestly unclear at this point.
"Look, this is a bug!! I don't even—!" I started, but there was no time to finish the sentence because they were already closing in on me.
I was this close to losing it when I had one dumb idea.
"Haruto, come with me! NOW!" I yanked him by the arm like it was my only lifeline.
"W-What?! No, wait—what are you doing?!" Haruto yelped as I dragged him through the mob of angry fangirls, trying to avoid getting hit by random flying bread.
"I'm saving us, idiot!" I gritted out through my teeth.
I swear, if one more girl called me a scumbag I was gonna lose it. I mean, I was literally trying to escape with Haruto for his own good, and these girls thought I was some villain. What kind of NPC bug is this?!
Before I knew it, I had yanked Haruto all the way down the street and into some random farm field. I ducked into a haystack, pulling him with me.
"Okay, that should buy us some time," I said, panting like I just ran a marathon.
Haruto, still looking like a lost puppy, glanced around. "We're... hiding in a field now?"
"Yup. Because apparently, NPCs trying to steal Haruto's affection is a thing." I looked around in disbelief. "Why am I even in this situation?"
Ding!
[Achievement Unlocked: "Hero's Best Friend!"]
"Are you kidding me?! I'm getting an achievement right now?!" I yelled at the system. "I don't need some dumb title. I need gold! Gold! Not some 'Hero's Best Friend' garbage!"
[You have earned the title "Hero's Best Friend." Congratulations!]
"No, no, NO!" I waved my arms in frustration. "A title isn't gonna help me! I'm broke, system! I need money!"
Haruto, still clueless, tilted his head. "But... you are my best friend, right?"
I turned to him, deadpan. "Oh yeah, sure. Best friend forever. Now can we go get some real cash instead of this stupid achievement?"
"Uhh... is gold really what you want?" Haruto asked, blinking at me like he was deep in thought.
"YES! YES! Gold! I need actual money!" I shouted, rolling my eyes so hard I might've pulled something.
Another Ding! sounded off.
[System Update: You have completed the "Hero's Best Friend" quest. Reward: 100 Gold!]
"...100 gold?" I blinked, staring at the message. "100 gold? For all that running? That's it?!"
I sighed. "Well, it's better than nothing... but seriously? 100 gold isn't gonna cut it for me."
Haruto scratched his head, looking guilty. "Well, I mean... you are my best friend."
"Yeah, yeah, best friend," I muttered. "But gold is better than some dumb title, Haruto. Remember that next time."
Few minutes later...
So there I was, crouching in the middle of a goddamn haystack in some random field, trying to catch my breath while Haruto, the oblivious hero, was struggling to get himself comfortable next to me. The whole situation was so messed up I couldn't even.
Haruto was sitting there, awkwardly shifting around in the hay, looking like he was about to pass out from sheer confusion. "Uh, Jin, I don't think this is a good hiding spot…"
I barely heard him. My brain was too busy spiraling over the fact that I was stuck in some bugged rom-com dating sim with zero understanding of how the mechanics worked. Like, come on, why was this even happening? I didn't even get to pick a class or skills! What was I supposed to do, sit here and be Haruto's "best friend" forever?
"Ugh, this is ridiculous," I muttered to myself, crossing my arms. "This whole thing's a glitchy nightmare. How the hell do these girls think I'm trying to steal Haruto's affection? I'm not even trying to do anything!"
I looked over at Haruto, who was struggling with a big stack of hay, trying to make himself somewhat comfortable. And, of course, being Haruto, he was totally unaware of how absurd everything around him was.
He shot me a weird look. "Jin, what's up? You look... mad about something."
I groaned. "You think? I'm stuck in a game world I don't understand, fighting off a mob of crazy fangirls, and now I'm hiding in a haystack with you in a field. I mean—does this sound normal to you?"
He blinked. "Well... no, not really... but you know, that's just how it is sometimes. In the end, we're friends, right?"
"Friends?!" I snapped, my face going red from frustration. "I don't need a friendship title, Haruto! I need gold, like, right now. That's the only thing that makes sense in this world!"
Haruto just nodded like he totally got what I was saying. "Yeah, yeah... gold's important... but friendship is too, right?"
I stared at him like he was speaking a different language. "Friendship doesn't pay my bills, Haruto!"
Ding!
Suddenly, a notification flashed in front of me.
[You have unlocked the "Best Friend of the Hero" achievement!]
"Oh, come ON!" I facepalmed so hard my palm might've left a permanent dent in my face. "I don't want some dumb 'best friend' title! I need gold, not some dumb emotional support trophy!"
And then—just as I was about to blow a fuse—the screen flickered again.
[You have received 1000 Gold Coins as a reward for completing your quest: "Hero's Best Friend."]
"1000 gold?!" I yelled, staring at the screen like I was about to lose my mind. "Finally! I'm rich!"
I paused for a second. "Wait. 1000 gold... is this game currency?"
[Exchange Rate: 1 Gold Coin = 1 Japanese Yen.]
"...Are you kidding me?" I dropped my face into my hands. "I just risked my life, hid in a haystack, fought off a mob of fangirls for 1000 yen? Are you serious? I'm going to get nothing with this! That's the equivalent of a takeaway meal in Japan!"
I turned to Haruto, who was still totally unaware of the horror of what was going on. "So, I just got paid in 'yen.' But this isn't Japan! It's a game! Why am I so broke?!"
Haruto nodded, completely misunderstanding the situation, like he was giving me some deep life advice. "Yeah, I think we can't just spend it on food right now, Jin. Maybe we can save up for something bigger later?"
I blinked at him. "Save up? For what? A lifetime's supply of bread?"
Haruto smiled like he was helping me solve the biggest problem of my life. "Yeah, you're right. We'll figure it out, buddy."
"Buddy?!" I let out a short, exasperated laugh. "Don't call me 'buddy.' I'm not your buddy, I'm your escape route from all this insanity. And I need gold, not more quests or 'friendship' nonsense!"
But there was no time to keep complaining, because, of course, just as things couldn't get worse…
Ding!
[Quest: Survive the Harem Drama. Failure to comply will result in 1000% more bugs. Good luck.]