Keifer's POV
I got home without being fully aware of myself. I went straight to the basement, where our hangout was.
I headed to the mini bar and grabbed a bottle of liquor. I didn't even bother checking the brand. I just drank it down, hoping to ease the heaviness in my chest.
But alcohol is of no use. Even if I finish every bottle here, I doubt anything will change about how I feel.
Angelo is right. I have to push Jay-jay away from me, but I have to feel numb in order to do that. Otherwise, I might be the first one to break when I see her suffering.
But I really can't do it. Letting her go would mean letting go of my own life. If I do that, it will be the death of me.
"Kuya..." someone called.
I turned around to check. It was Keigan, walking slowly in the darkness.
"It's late... You should go to sleep." I said in a calm voice.
"I've already had too much sleep. Maybe I'll go back to my room later," he said with a forced smile. "...Do you have a problem? Why are you still up and drinking?"
The way Keigan spoke confused me. He was so different from the Keigan I had talked to this morning. He sounded normal.
"Same things, of course," I answered.
There were times when I told him my problems. I didn't want him to feel that I was drifting away from him or from Keiren. So as long as I could, I shared things with him. But there were times when I had to keep my mouth shut.
I moved closer to him and invited him to sit on the floor. We leaned against the back of the couch to be more comfortable. Sitting like this made us feel like normal brothers.
"How was your day?" I asked him.
It had been a while since I last checked on him. Honey was right about what she told me this morning.
"I slept the whole day," he answered, then let out a short laugh. "...How about you?"
I shook my head. "Not good."
"Why?"
"Things are being fvcked up."
"Do you feel pressured? You don't have to rush. You still have a month to think about it."
"That's not the only thing I'm worried about." I looked down and shook the bottle in my hand.
"Is it about her?"
Keigan's voice suddenly sounded disappointed. I knew he didn't like Jay-jay. To him, she was a hindrance.
"Yes, it's about her."
He didn't say anything, so I chose to continue talking.
"...I have to protect her from Clyde and from myself. But I can't let go of her. She's my life."
I heard Keigan sigh.
"Think about this, Kuya. Can you handle seeing a gun pointed at her head, or can you bear seeing her in pain because you saved her?"
I shook my head.
There's really no difference. Hurting her badly is like killing both her and myself. Hitting two birds with one stone. But the thought of her lifeless body is even more horrible.
"I can't handle either," I answered, and a few tears fell from my eyes. "...But I would rather hurt her than let her die because of me."
"You don't have to feel bad about it. You have to make sacrifices. You can't protect both Jay-jay and us at the same time. You won't be able to because you don't have your inheritance yet," he said in a very calm voice. "...But look on the bright side. This is only temporary. Sooner or later, you'll have your money. You'll be able to protect her and never lose her again. You'll have all the time in the world to win her back."
I'm hopeless. I will never win her back. Once I let her go, Yuri or David will take advantage of it. They will do everything to have Jay-jay for themselves.
And I will lose her forever.
"I hate my life," I said, wiping my tears.
Keigan laughed. "You wouldn't hate our lives."
And I laughed with him. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, and laughing together—it brought back memories.
It was a wave of nostalgia.
I really wish we had a normal family. A loving mom who was still alive. A supportive dad who put the family first. And the three of us—me, Keigan, and Keiren.
"I think we should go to bed. Especially you," Keigan said, and I couldn't disagree. "...You look so stressed."
"I am indeed."
He stood up first, and I followed. I returned the bottle I was holding to the mini bar before heading out.
We walked in silence toward our bedrooms. I stopped in front of Keiren's room.
"Go ahead. I'll just check on Keiren."
He nodded and walked ahead.
I slowly opened Keiren's bedroom door. His favorite mushroom lamp was on. It helped him calm down whenever he had trouble sleeping.
I walked toward him and picked up the blanket that had fallen to the floor because of his restless sleeping. I placed it over him again.
Sorry, Keiren. Sorry that you never got to experience having parents.
I'm trying to be both a mother and a father to you, but I know it's not enough. I hope you become strong even without them. I hope you never lose confidence in yourself. I hope you grow stronger—stronger than me or Keigan. I hope you never become like me.
I kissed his forehead before leaving the room. I carefully closed the door and walked to my own room.
I felt exhausted. I unbuttoned my uniform one by one. Upon entering my room, I took off my shirt. Just as I threw it onto my bed, a wallet-sized picture fell.
I had forgotten about it...
I picked it up and stared at it. Unlike before, I couldn't smile upon seeing her face.
"Jay-jay..." I said as I sat on the edge of my bed. "...I know there's a chance that you will never forgive me, but I assure you, I will do anything to become stronger."
I placed her picture on my bedside table.
"...And when I do, I will protect you no matter what."
As of now, let me save you from my relatives and... from myself.
For now, I will focus on my siblings. They need me too.
I spent almost the entire night thinking about what might happen. I didn't even change clothes and just fell asleep. I still reek of alcohol, and I'm sure the smell has already clung to my bed.
I woke up to the sound of knocking on my bedroom door. Headaches again are kicking in. I forced myself to get up, even though my body seemed unwilling to separate from the bed.
"Kuya! Wake up!" It was Keiren knocking at my door. "Kuya Keigan and I might be late!"
"Okay! I'm up!" I shouted.
He stopped knocking. I rubbed my face with my hands. I felt dizzy, and it seemed like my head would split open with every movement.
I forced myself to stand, and as soon as I did, I almost stumbled. I needed to take Keigan and Keiren to school. And I also needed to face Jay-jay.
It has to be today…
I originally planned to delay it for a few more days. I didn't want to hurt her repeatedly, but that's exactly what I needed to do. I didn't want to prolong it any further because if I did, I might not be able to go through with it.
I went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. I didn't take too long and quickly got dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes are lifeless and cold.
After getting dressed, I headed straight to the dining room, where my siblings were eating breakfast.
Keigan looks good today. Like he never cried yesterday. His movements were also normal, just as I always saw him act.
"Eat breakfast." I heard someone order.
I looked at them and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here again?" I asked irritably.
"There's no breakfast at home, so I'm eating here."
Honey answered.
I rolled my eyes. She was practically making my house her hangout spot. Then she would complain that her uncle scolds her for coming here too often.
"What's with your look? You look like a troubled, grumpy guy who got dumped by his girlfriend." She said before swallowing her food.
"Just eat if you still want to be allowed to eat here again."
She just shrugged and continued eating. I grabbed a cup of coffee and drank it. I really had no appetite. I couldn't even feel hunger because of the weight in my chest.
Keigan and Keiren finished eating first. I asked them to wait for me outside. Once I was sure they were gone, I approached Honey.
"Where's Keigan's maid? That Kate." I asked.
She suddenly stopped eating and looked at me with so much confusion.
"She left. Just last night."
My forehead creased. "What?"
"She ran away, according to your butler."
"But why?"
"Don't know."
I turned my back on her and let her continue eating. Why would she leave? I didn't even know how many maids had already left Keigan's side in my house.
When I got to the garage, I saw Keiren standing next to my car. Keigan was standing silently while reading a book. He even adjusted his glasses before turning the page.
I decided to ignore the maid's departure for now. I'll deal with it next time.
I unlocked my car and asked them to get in.
"I will put my seatbelt." Keiren said before I could touch him.
"You said so."
I let him do it and got into the driver's seat. I started the car and drove them both to school.
They went to different schools. Keigan's school focused more on academics than other activities like sports. The school suited him well since he was intelligent. Honestly, he and Ci-N are the same in that regard.
After dropping them off, I felt like I didn't want to go to school anymore. I didn't even feel like driving. I'd rather crash this damn car.
This is my punishment, and it will be Jay-jay's punishment too. But I have to follow my plan. I have to save her.
When I arrived at school, I parked the car and got out. There were only a few students coming in since it was still early.
As I walked toward our classroom, it felt like I was walking toward my own death. Every step felt heavy.
I just want this day to be over.
When I entered the room, Eman and Josh were already inside. Rory and Edrix were with them as well. They all fell silent the moment I stepped in. I went straight to my seat and sat down, uninterested.
Not long after, Drew walked in, followed by Blaster. They looked at me briefly and then turned away, as if I had some kind of disease.
I waited for a few more moments until the others arrived. Most of them avoided me, like they no longer wanted to be around me.
"Wow! Some people really have thick skin!"
Mayo sneered before sitting in his seat.
"Can you just shut up?" Kit said.
His face was still swollen in some parts. From what I knew, he almost fell into a coma, but luckily, he woke up quickly. I just didn't understand why he was already discharged from the hospital.
I don't know how to ask for his forgiveness.
"You're here early today." Yuri greeted before sitting down. "…Did something happen?"
I only glanced at him briefly before looking back at the door. I'm waiting for her to come inside.
I saw Ci-N walking toward me. I immediately signaled her to stop.
"Stay right there."
"K-Keifer… This is about Jay-jay."
I arched a brow. "And so?"
I could feel our classmates listening in. I also knew they didn't like the way I responded.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Keifer?"
Yuri asked in an irritated tone.
"Nothing is wrong with me. But with all of you, there is."
I heard a few of them chuckle in disbelief.
"Just listen, Keifer." Ci-N said, sounding worried. "…Y-yesterday, Jay-jay got into an accident. That's why she seemed to be struggling so much."
I knew it already. Angelo told me and even showed me a CCTV footage from a crossing.
"Who cares." I answered, sounding indifferent.
But I do.
We were already tracking down the motorcyclists. I had a clue about who they were. Confirmation is all I need, and I will hunt them down.
"Who cares? Are you out of your mind, Keifer?" David asked angrily. "…Don't you even feel guilty about what you did?"
I didn't answer him and just stared at them. They exchanged glances, as if trying to confirm if they were all thinking the same thing about me.
"Looks like this is it." Felix said, and all of them looked at him. "…You carried out your plan yesterday, didn't you?"
"Keifer…"
"What about Jay-jay now?"
"I thought we agreed to stop this?"
They all reacted almost at the same time. They couldn't accept what Felix had just said.
This is it.This is the only way I could think of.I didn't want this, but this is the most effective method. I knew Jay-jay would be mad at them too, but unlike me, there was still a chance she could forgive them.
My original plan was different. I was planning to involve a girl, but knowing Jay-jay, she might just end up beating her up.
"You've already carried out your plan. What are you planning to do with Jay-jay now?" Eman asked.
"Let's just say Keifer acted out of anger. Let's not tell her what we did." Blaster looked so worried.
"Jay-jay will be mad at us." Ci-N said, almost on the verge of tears.
"I don't understand what you're doing."
Yuri said.
"Let's just tell her. There's no point, this conversation is leading there anyway." Eren sounded irritated.
"We can't do that!" Kit protested.
"Just tell the truth already!" David also shouted.
"Don't tell Keifer what to do!" Rory shouted at David. "…He'll say it when the time is right."
"I feel so bad for Jay-jay." Ci-N said, looking down.
"We were told to stop this plan already!" Eman said, obviously furious.
"You're one to talk! You were one of the main instigators of this whole mess!" Denzel accused.
Now, they were pointing fingers at each other, passing the blame. But there was only one person truly at fault.
And that's me.
"Just explain it properly, then let's apologize." Blaster suggested.
"Oh, like it's that easy, huh?" Drew said sarcastically.
"Jay-jay won't forgive us." Yuri said.
"We'll make it up to her." It was Rory.
"It's not that simple." Edrix answered.
They kept suggesting things to do and blaming each other. But one thing was for sure—they wanted me to tell the truth. They wanted me to tell her.
But all the chaos stopped the moment she stepped into our classroom. My heart started beating so fast.
"J-Jay-jay…" They almost whispered.
"W-what truth? What plan?"
And at that moment, I knew we were both going to have a broken heart.