I can sense Julianna watching me, I don't look at her, I can't.
If I do, I'll remember everything. The whispered lies, the betrayal, or my most biggest pain, Roman looking at me like he hated me, like I was some girl Julianna painted out to be.
So, I keep my focus on Lucas, I decided I would sit with him today, better than sitting alone. A girl from the swim team is sitting right beside him, Gabriella Caruso. ( We call her gabby for short)
She's leaning in close, twirling a strand of her ginger hair, laughing at something Lucas just said. Okay, it's fine, it's not a big deal. So, why does I suddenly feel like I swallowed a rock?
I push the feeling down, and focus on my food, that is until.
" Hey" Lucas interrupts, I rise my head up, my eyes solely focused on his.
" You good? You seem depressed" he asks. " Yeah, I'm fine" I say easily.
The girl- Gabby, turns to me, smiling like I'm interrupting something. I don't smile back.
Lucas oblivious as ever, just takes a bite of his sandwich, chewing it like a squirrel, which stores food in its cheeks. I don't say anything about Gabriella, I don't ask why she was sitting so close to him, or why Lucas didnt seem to mind.
Because it shouldn't matter. So I push the feeling down, deep enough, to where I can pretend it doesn't exist. I return my focus on my food, and act like nothing is different.