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"This show is really inappropriate. What will the public think? How will ordinary folks see it?"
A middle-aged man in a knitted sweater sat on the couch, frowning.
"What will they think? They'll laugh, that's what! Look at your daughter—she's cracking up, doesn't even know where she is anymore~"
A woman beside him chuckled as she knitted.
"Whoever's tail got stepped on, they know it themselves. But hey, if you've got nothing to hide, there's nothing to fear. Only guilty people get nervous about this kind of thing~"
Meanwhile, many people in the audience were smiling knowingly. So that's what the thief company was all about—they were finally starting to get the joke.
Mia squinted her eyes. "So during Spring Festival, it becomes the Spring Theft Office. Then what about Women's Day?"
Kyle answered like it was obvious: "We set up a Women's Theft Office!"
Mia kept going, "And Youth Day, May 4th?"
Kyle didn't miss a beat: "Youth Theft Office!"
Mia: "Children's Day?"
Kyle, casually: "Children's Theft Office!"
Mia was impressed, "Wow, you guys really don't skip any holidays!"
Kyle was even more proud, "Forget holidays—since it's Comedy Competition Day today, we're setting up a Comedy Theft Office!"
Mia covered her mouth and peeked down at the audience, "So everyone's here to steal from this place?"
Kyle nodded mysteriously, "Even our director showed up in person to supervise!"
Mia leaned in and whispered, "Who's your director?"
Kyle tugged at his collar like he was about to make a move, "Can't say~"
Mia's eyes gleamed with curiosity, "Come on, what's our relationship? Just tell me, I swear I won't tell anyone!"
The audience was hooked—there were a lot of celebrities there, and they were all dying to see who Kyle would name.
Kyle grinned, "Our director is~~~"
Mia leaned in, all mysterious too, "Who?"
Kyle declared: "Lily!"
Mia clutched her chest in mock despair, "Ladies and gentlemen, be careful! This one's got sticky fingers—she'll strike when you least expect it!"
"Pfft—I'm the director of the Comedy Theft Office? Hahaha! I get that title too?"
Lily burst out laughing, slapping the table. She was being teased, sure, but she was clearly loving it.
The audience turned to look at Lily, many of them sighing dreamily:
"She is the director of the Comedy Theft Office—she's stolen my heart!"
"Director, steal me away~"
A guy in the audience suddenly shouted, making Lily freeze for a second, then everyone else started yelling too.
"Take me home, Director! I can cook!"
"Run away with me, Director!"
One love confession after another echoed through the hall. What was supposed to be a comedy show had turned into a public love fest!
Lily's face was scrunched up from laughing so hard.
And it wasn't just her—the whole audience was cracking up.
It had been a long time since they'd laughed like this—not some forced pun or awkward joke, but real laughter. The kind that bubbles up from your chest.
Kyle let out a long sigh, "Honestly, all these departments are just empty shells. They don't do anything important. It's all just people floating around, doing nothing. They've been saying for years they're gonna streamline things, but what happens?"
Mia asked, "It didn't work?"
Kyle shook his head, frustrated, "The more they try to simplify, the more people they add! Everyone's got connections, backdoor deals. HQ sends someone over, and they immediately get made a department head!"
Then, like he'd been waiting to vent for years, he started ranting:
"Our unit? We're supposed to be highly specialized. It's not like just anyone can come in and be a manager."
"People with no idea what they're doing are calling the shots, giving dumb orders. And of course, something always goes wrong."
"And the worst part? If we say someone's good, the higher-ups say no. If we say they're not good, they say yes. You can't even get mad anymore."
"There's a saying at our office that really sums it up."
Mia perked up, "Oh? What saying?"
Kyle raised his hand, "The upper line is: 'If they say you can do it, you can—even if you can't.'"
Mia's eyes lit up, "What's the bottom line?"
Kyle shook his head, "If they say you can't, you can't—even if you can."
Mia straightened up, respectful now, "And the side note?"
Kyle sighed deeply, "You've got no choice but to go along!"
"Hahaha, that's gold! 'No choice but to go along'!"
The crowd exploded with laughter and thunderous applause.
Nick was doubled over. That line really hit the nail on the head. And Lily couldn't help thinking about her own journey to fame.
In showbiz, newbies have to eat a lot of crap—but you just have to endure it.
As funny as that line was, it was also painfully real.
"'If they say you can, you can—even if you can't. If they say you can't, you can't—even if you can. No choice but to go along.'"
"Man, that's genius. It lays out all the nepotism in one go!"
"Ugh, if only I'd figured this out earlier… I wouldn't have been stuck doing nothing for all those years!"
"'Even if you can't, you can'? That's straight-up abuse of power!"
"Now I get it! That's why I've been benched for so long!"
"So that's why no one ever took my reasonable suggestions seriously!"
"No choice but to go along—that's how they keep everyone in line!"
"Holy crap, this is literally me! No choice but to go along! I keep swallowing my anger for that tiny paycheck!"
After the applause finally settled down, the skit continued:
Mia snickered, "You're not just any thief—you're an educated one."
Kyle sighed again, "The worst part is, they give us a few thousand bucks and expect us to form an entire team!"
Mia shrugged, "Then just go steal some more~"
Kyle chuckled bitterly, "Easier said than done. You haven't been stealing much lately, have you~~"
Mia blinked, "Well, yeah, it's been a while—wait, no, I've never stolen anything to begin with!"
Kyle broke it down: "Think about it—stealing big stuff? We don't have enough people. Small stuff? Not worth it. Steal a bank card? Can't withdraw it. Try to grab a phone? GPS tracking. We're exhausted and shaky, and at the end of the day, we barely scrape together a few thousand bucks."
Mia was stunned, "A few thousand a day? That's hundreds of thousands a month! That's not bad at all!"
Kyle gave her a look like you don't get it, "Yeah, but no matter how fast we steal, we can't keep up with how fast they spend!"
Mia frowned, "Seriously? They're that good at spending?"
Kyle held out his hand, "Let me break it down."
Mia nodded, "Alright, hit me."
Kyle tucked away his thumb, "We've got over a hundred little thieves, right? Eating, drinking, pooping, sleeping, moving around—it all costs money, right?"
Mia agreed, "Yeah, that's fair."
Kyle put down his index finger, "Then there's all the never-ending 'training trips' to tourist spots. That costs money too, doesn't it?"
Mia was momentarily speechless, "Uh…"
Kyle threw up his hands, furious, "And that's not even the worst part. Our managers have to go overseas for 'inspections!' Like, why?! What's a thief company inspecting abroad for? They say it's to learn about advanced foreign theft techniques!"
"Pfffft—advanced theft techniques?"
That last line pushed it over the edge—Jade, who was sipping milk tea, spit it all out laughing.
As a tour guide for these "study trips," she loved the gigs—they paid well and were basically luxury vacations.
The hosts knew exactly what those "inspections" really were. And sure, most of them came from legit companies. But using a thief company as the comparison? That was just too funny!
"Hahaha—advanced theft techniques?! Couldn't you learn something good for once?"
Nick was cracking up so hard, his face looked like an accordion.
This thief company skit was practically workplace satire in disguise. And they really weren't holding back. The best part? It all felt real—and still hilarious!
Genius.
Genius concept. Genius delivery.
This was sharp, smart comedy. A perfect example of starting with a silly idea—a fake thief company—but using it to expose very real organizational dysfunction.
What does it mean for art to come from life but rise above it?
This. This is what it means.
"....."