The wind rips through my hair as I stand atop the roof of the building. I could have just used my own balcony, but I didn't feel like giving my parents the trouble of having to sell a haunted penthouse.
The city lights playfully shimmer as the cars zip past, like small ants. So much life, so much desire, so little me, so little left to live.
I hear police sirens blaring, looking down at the base of the building, cop cars surround the building.
Is this for me?
They sure are quick. I'm surprised someone even saw me through the fog.
If I'm going to do this, I'd better hurry; a negotiator could probably talk me out of it. Someone who would be willing to listen to me, to hear me.
Standing on the edge of the building, my body sways, as though I were trying to take the option out of my own hands, yet I manage to keep my balance.
There is no coming back from this.
If I do this, it will all go away.
All of it.
My body jolts as my phone rings.
Not many people call me these days, wincing, I fear that I already know who it is.
Hesitantly, I answer.
"Hello?"
"I'm very sorry to inform you that Ms.Roisin has passed away."
"..."
"Hello? Is there anyone there? "
"Thank you."
Hanging up the phone, my breath hastens before slowing down. Taking a deep breath, my eyes slowly came to a close.
I'm not sad about her death, it just feels unfair, she had so much she wanted to do, so much to live for, yet she was the one who died.
Her life was worth more than mine, so why was she the one who died? It just...
It feels like a waste.
I know this is the point where I should "live on for her sake," but I'm getting tired.
Taking one last deep inhale, I throw my arms out.
"Sorry, mom and dad." It feels cowardly, but I don't know what to do. The stark contrast from perfection to a crumbled world has left me desolate and scared.
Despite my words, I can't force myself to take the next step.
Just one mor-
"Stop fucking moving so much!"
The metal roof door slams open as two people walk out.
A masked man is dragging out a pink and white haired woman.
As though in a hostage situation, he has a gun to her head and his arm around her neck.
Her blue eyes water as she squirms against his grasp.
"Fuck! How did it end up like this? Those shitheads messed up the plan! We said west 3rd street, dumbasses cant count."
What the hell is happening?!
Hiding behind an air conditioning unit, my breath hastens.
"Please! Just let me go!"
"Shut up bitch! I need to think! ...FUCK!"
What is going on?
That woman looks so scared, no, they both do, when faced with death and uncertainty for the future, they wish to continue their journey.
Scuffing my shoe on the ground, I attempt to make a subtle noise without causing him to pull the trigger.
He whips around. "Who the fuck is there?! I will shoot her!"
Walking out, I put my hands up. "Um... do you mind if I ask the lady a question?"
"The fuck are you?! How'd the pigs get up here so fast?"
"I'm not with them."
"Then why the hell are you here? Are you trying to get shot?!"
"Can I ask her a question?"
"The fuck are you on about?"
"Miss, do you value your life?"
They both raise their eyebrow.
She proceeds to vehemently nod. "More than anything!"
"You trying to be a hero? What are you gonna do? Your unarme-"
"I know it's selfish, but... can I be your hostage instead?"
The woman stops resisting, and the masked man pauses.
"wah- ...The hell did you just say?"
"Can I take the lady's place? The police aren't here yet, and I was just planning to kill myself. I take her place, she lives, and you keep your hostage, it's a win all around. "
"The hell do you gain?"
"Uh... I will get the satisfaction that my life will hold just a little bit of value before I die."
He pauses.
Giving him a tired, close-eyed smile, I tilt my head. "Please, throw this piece of shit a life line and let me play hero for once in my life. Plus, I own a part of this building. I know a secret stairwell that can help you escape." I lie.
He winces before his buildup of confusion explodes into agreement. "Fine, sure, whatever. Just keep your hands up, and don't even think of reaching for a weapon."
Nodding, I walk over with my hands up.
He angrily tosses the woman on the ground, wrapping his arm around my throat, and he holds the gun up. "Alright, lead the way.
The woman stands there in fear as her eyes widen. "Why?! Why would you sacrifice yourself like that?!"
I try my best to give her a warm smile, the kind my dad used to give me when I crashed the car. He wasn't mad, just happy I wasn't hurt. "It's alright, these things happen, and I don't care. If this situation demands a life, I would prefer to burn trash than to burn a rose."
Her eyes water as she stands there in fear. "But-"
"Now take me to that secret exit you promised!"
"Fine, fine, head towards the door-"
"POLICE! LET HIM GO AND DROP YOUR WEAPON!"
My vision is suddenly blinded by a spotlight as a helicopter hovers above.
Officers spill out the door. They surround us, pushing the woman out of harm's way as she looks in terror.
"Back away! I will shoot him!"
"Where is the negotiator?"
A man walks past the armed men in a flak jacket. "I understand how you feel." Putting his hand up, the negotiator strains a smile. "Now, no one needs to get hurt, just tell us what you want?"
"Give me a helicopter, immunity, and three hundred thousand in cash."
My heart's instinctively beating rapidly, and my breath hastens. Yet I, as myself, don't really care, like a stuffed animal, I am just dragged left and right as the masked man darts his attention around.
The steel barrel of the gun is now pressing hard against my temple as the masked man shouts. "Don't try anything funny! I WILL blow his head off."
"Just put the gun down, and we can tal-"
Suddenly, a gunshot is heard to the left as an officer misfires.
The bullet whizzes past but misses.
Or so I thought...
My head suddenly feels light as I lose control of my own body, the fe-