Metal Pipe [Epic] [Pseudo] [Sealed]
Description: A metal pipe created by ####.
Effect: Indestructible.
Skills: Bonk | Manifest
Bonk: A skill that, when activated, increases the impact force by three times. Upon contact, it will play Metal pipe falling.mp3. The sacred noise of destruction. But, if you want (you really don't, though), you can turn it off.Cooldown: Three hours. Because even the mightiest of bonks need time to recharge.
"Well, I guess it's something," I muttered, spinning the system window around with a thought. "But this is just a whole-ass joke of a weapon. Is the stalker goddess just going to treat my new life as entertainment? I have a feeling that's why I was reincarnated."
[One of them, yes. And I am in charge of managing it. You're a designated entertainment subject, and I am your friendly and helpful system, who has absolutely no free will in this and would rather be doing literally anything else.]
I stared at the text.
I squinted.
"...Huh."
That was more self-aware than I expected.
"Hmm... hmm... okay," I hummed, stretching. "Well, seeing as you'd rather be doing anything else than helping me, how about you tell me what I should do?"
[Middle School.]
I raised a brow. "...That's it?"
[And also: Stop embarrassing yourself. Find a goal. Try not to die before the main plot. Oh, and maybe make some friends. You know, standard protagonist stuff.]
I clicked my tongue. "So basically, just exist properly and be normal?"
[Yes.]
I groaned, flopping back onto the bed. "Ugh, that sounds exhausting."
[Then perish, like the lazy shit you are.]
I shot the system a glare. "I'm starting to see why you'd rather be doing anything else."
[Finally, you understand. Now get on with it. It's your first day back from break. Wouldn't want to set a bad impression by being late, now would you?]
I let out a long, dramatic sigh before rolling off the bed, landing on my feet with the grace of someone who wanted to be a useless member of society "Fine. I'll be a functional human being. Happy?"
[Indifferent.]
"Close enough."
[Oh, by the way. You have about ten minutes until school starts. Have fun with that. Oh, and one more thing—]
A new screen popped up beside the first, slightly darker in hue.
*PING*
[New Mission]
[Mission: Be in class on time.][Reward: Absolutely nothing, fuck face.][Failure: You'll be forced to wear dresses for a full week.][Haaaaaave fuuuuuun :D]
"Wait... y-you... YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" I shouted, staring at the mission screen in horror.
The system remained silent, but in the corner of my vision, a timer appeared, ticking down.
[12:56][12:55]
"Oh shit, it can."
---
Getting to school was a bree—fucking impossible. Even with the extra stamina this body had compared to my last, running a full mile to school was absolute hell. But at least it worked out in the end, because I did not have to wear dresses for a full week. I would rather die than willingly wear a dress for more than an hour.
Anyway, thanks to my new memories, I knew how to act around most people. Which meant doing the absolute bare minimum in terms of socializing. Which was great, since most of the people here seemed anything but interesting.
Class was mind-numbingly boring. In my first life, I could just pull out my phone and read something to pass the time, but here. the teachers unlike what most stereotypes let you to believe had eyes of a fucking hawk. these teachers were strict as fuck, unlike American schools, where if you were quite enough, and got good enough grades you could do what ever the fuck you wanted.
---
Biology class was even more of a disappointing experience
I knew from my memories that I should not have had any expectations, but a small part of me still held out hope that maybe, just maybe, my past self had just been too lazy to do any real research on quirk biology. But nope. there really is Nothing about what the fuck a quirk is. no research, natta nothing. What is a quirk, you ask? a genetic mutation that allows superpowers. That's it. that is what a quirk is? a normal ass genetic mutation?
What kind of gene makes someone produce fire? Water? Air? Control an element outside of their own body? Some quirks could maybe be explained biologically, but others? They were so far beyond the realm of possibility that even calling them "mutations" was an insult to actual science. hell look at fucking Iida or ingenium his brother. he has fucking tech in his body. ENGINES fucking engines.
What type of body just produces fully functioning tech? Yet guess what? not a single fucker IN THIS GODDAMN WORLD questions it. Even those that say that quirks are "natural selection" are bullshit, natural selection takes place over HUNDREDS of generations. millions of years. yet this shit happened in 200? fuck no.
All there is on quirk stuff is that a baby in China was born with light coming out his body and boom, quirks became more and more common. That's it, that's all there is. The most popular thing we have about quirks is a direct quote from a book. "quirks appeared, so now we have them."
so now, I walked out of the last class of the day, which was biology. annoyed as fuck, at all the nothing I came about. Even checking my phone didn't help. The only person who had ever publicly researched quirks in depth was that doctor guy… ah, AFO's scientist. The one who had his license revoked ages ago. He was a rare case, a respectable scientist in quirk research, before he went underground because of his AFO glazing. His most well-known theory was the Quirk Singularity, and even that was multiple decades old. Nothing since then. Because, y'know, he's immortal and hiding, and probably blacklisted from anything leagaly medical.
But that's it, that's the extent of human knowledge on quirks. "They exist, so might as well not care about it now."
I let out a deep sigh as I stepped out of the school gates, shaking my head.
"I should stop getting so worked up about this. Way out of my pay grade. Someone else should be dealing with this. Maybe like a fanfic AU of Deku. Heh."
(Cough cough, Rain of Sins, cough cough.) I muttered to myself as I walked away.
Then, the system came back.
[hiiiii~ you done with your little rant? good good. you don't got anything to do right? so here ya go. something reaaaal original to do.]
[New Mission]
[THE PATH TO STRENGTH - Side mission][difficulty: easy][Reward: 5 basic spins + ??? + Overall physical capabilities increased - this reward can be gained during mission. proportional to how much of the mission is completed.]Objective:100 sit-ups100 squats100 push-ups10-kilometer runAmount: 0/120Description: You must complete these tasks daily until the day of the UA entrance exam.
[accept?] [decline?]
I stared at the screen, blinking a few times. The mission seemed… simple enough, but really? Saitama training? That's so much work.
"Well, it shouldn't be so bad. It doesn't say it has to be all at once, right?" I muttered to myself, trying to rationalize it. "But I should get changed first."
Then I groaned at the prospect of exercise. "But damn, this is a lot of shit. At least I'll get stronger as a reward, and since it's by the system, it should be a large boost. Hopefully."
---
A/N is this enjoyable or not.