As he stepped out of the basement stairs, his ears caught a humming voice.
Tobey's foot hovered mid-step.
The moment the sound reached him, his body locked up.
A voice. A melody. Smooth. Gentle. Unnatural. Yet… familiar.
It was so hypnotic that his legs moved on their own, drawn toward it.
His thoughts blurred.
His heartbeat slowed.
His eyes—wet.
Something about the sound felt wrong—but at the same time…
He wanted to step forward.
[Tobey, whispering to himself]
"What is that? A siren? A nymph? A harpy? A banshee? Melusine? Lorelei?"
He gulped.
"It's dangerous to go out there… I'll just listen to it from here."
A pause.
"…Getting a little closer wouldn't hurt… would it?"
The humming grew sweeter and sweeter.
And Tobey—closer and closer.
Step by step.
Heartbeat steady.
Breath shallow.
Then—he peeked into the kitchen.
And what he saw…
You wouldn't believe it.
Then—he peeked into the kitchen.
And what he saw…
You wouldn't believe it.
A siren?
No.
A nymph?
No.
A harpy?
No.
A banshee?
No.
Melusine?
No.
Lorelei?
No.
But a completely normal wife, devoted to her husband, humming for her not-completely-normal husband while making breakfast.
Soft, warm, and effortless, the melody floated through the air like sunlight filtering through morning mist.
"Through storm or shine, I see you still,
With weary hands, yet heart fulfilled.
A world may turn, the time may fade,
But here we stand, the vows we made."
"The fire burns, the embers glow,
Through every high, through every low.
No riches sought, no gold I plead,
Your smile alone is all I need."
But Tobey saw otherwise.
[Tobey, whispering, eyes wide]
"My mother is a siren in human form… That explains everything."
A slow, tragic shake of the head.
"…Poor Dad."
[Narrator, after a long pause]
"…Actually… Lucky Dad."
A sigh.
"I'd like to have a wife like her…"
[Tobey, whispering to himself]
"She seems like a goddess… Anyway—how am I gonna get my frog?"
Kitchen? No go.
Living room? Also no go.
That stupid glass door connecting both is wide open.
Tobey sighed.
"Guess that leaves… the front door."
The ninja run commenced.
Hallway—clear.
Front door—clear.
Pathway to backyard—clear.
Then—
"Who's there?"
Mom's voice rang out.
Tobey froze.
His eyes darted toward the backyard.
There—under the shed, taking shelter from the rain—was a cat.
A poor, innocent cat.
A cat… toying with his frog.
We saw a helpless animal.
Tobey saw an opportunity.
As his mother stepped out of the kitchen to investigate, Tobey lunged.
In one swift motion—he grabbed the poor thing by the neck.
A pause.
Then—
YEET.
The cat went flying straight toward his mother.
[Mom, kneeling down, voice soft]
"So it was you causing all that ruckus, Miss Kitty?"
The cat shivered, ears flicking as it let out a soft—"Mew…"
[Mom, smiling gently]
"Aww, you poor thing. You're soaking wet."
"Mrrrrow?" The cat blinked up at her, shaking off some rain.
Her expression softened.
"Wait here—I'll get you some warm milk and something to dry you off."
The cat stretched, tail flicking, letting out a quiet—"Mrrrrp."
[Mom, chuckling]
"It's bad for your health, you know? You might've been searching for food, you poor thing…"
The cat, fully accepting its new role as a VIP guest, purred—"Prrrrrrr…"
Man, she is something else.
[Tobey, whispering to himself]
"I saved myself from blowing my cover. Now I just have to wait till she's done treating the cat."
He crossed his arms, deep in thought.
"Can't go back to the base of operations… Not yet."
Tobey was busy plotting his next move.
But the one thing he wasn't thinking about?
The poor, innocent creature he had just grabbed and thrown like a sack of potatoes was already living its best life.
But Tobey? He had other priorities.
[Tobey, whispering to the container]
"Mr. Frog, I think you're going to my room first. You need to sleep."
With that, he sprayed the potion onto the frog.
A second passed—
Then another—
Then—plop.
The frog went limp.
[Tobey, grinning]
"Yay, success! Now… I should probably check if he's still alive."
Truly a menace.
A quick inspection later—yup, still breathing.
[Tobey, nodding]
"Good. Now—to my room!"
With victory in his heart, Tobey took off running.
He was almost there—
Then—he saw it.
The same rock.
The same rock he had tripped over not once.
But twice.
He jumped over it, clearing the obstacle with a grand, triumphant leap.
He was free.
He was flying.
And then—
Fate had other plans.
As his feet touched the ground—
SLIP.
Tobey went down.
For the third time.
Right in the exact same spot.
Somewhere in the heavens, karma was laughing its ass off.
Tobey didn't speak.
Didn't groan.
Didn't resist.
Without a sound, he pushed himself up.
Without resistance, he walked over to the drainpipe.
He stood beneath it.
Water rushed down, drenching him completely, washing away the dirt and shame.
He closed his eyes.
And in that moment—
He understood.
Fade to black.
Now—he was back in his room.
Cold. Wet. Wearing nothing but his underwear.
And holding a container of frog.
He exhaled, finally at peace.
Then—
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
Tobey jumped so hard he nearly yeeted the entire container.
Panic.
Pure. Unfiltered. Panic.
Who was at the door?!
And more importantly—what the hell was he supposed to do now?!